The Final Letting Go

There's a strong feeling sometimes that life is about accumulation up to a point, and then there must be a letting go. The tide flows in, and flows out. The sun rises, the sun sets. We breath in , we breath out - until we don't.

<p dir="auto">Yesterday I was talking to Dad about <em>things. He has a lot of <em>things. Not in a kind of hoarder way, but in a man-who's-had-a-lot-of hobbies way, and the hard earned money to buy them. <p dir="auto">The bow hanging in the garage.<br /> The drone in it's back.<br /> Four beautiful guitars.<br /> A wealth of Sony camera equipment.<br /> Surfboards.<br /> Headphones.<br /> Speakers. <p dir="auto">And so on. They speak of a life of creativity, of a love of music, photography, the ocean, and nature. <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/riverflows/23ynG913bvZVtBjuzzBBrMGn5d1gQjHNopJqTx3fxmtviHB7WaWknh7T9PSB4m6dPEE6U.png" alt="image.png" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/riverflows/23ynG913bvZVtBjuzzBBrMGn5d1gQjHNopJqTx3fxmtviHB7WaWknh7T9PSB4m6dPEE6U.png 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/riverflows/23ynG913bvZVtBjuzzBBrMGn5d1gQjHNopJqTx3fxmtviHB7WaWknh7T9PSB4m6dPEE6U.png 2x" /> <p dir="auto">Last week he gave away his rockbox - a kind of plywood box used for percussion - to his grandson. He couldn't do it himself. He had to get Mum to do it. He <em>wanted to give it away, but he didn't, at the same time. No one is asking him to, but I think part of him enjoys seeing people happy with the last gifts he can possibly give. <p dir="auto">We understood. <p dir="auto">'It must be hard to let go, Dad', I said. <p dir="auto">He's let go alot, my father. When faced with death, there's a list of things one must come to terms with. The adventures never undertaken. The failed relationships. The worry you haven't always been the best human, even if you have been nothing <em>but beautifully human. He's been lucky to have the time to work through all that, and let it go. <p dir="auto">Now, as he faces his dying, it's the possessions he's letting go. He understands it philosophically. We talk about how yogic thinking has helped us practice nonattachment, and how much harder it would be if we didn't have that practice. The thing is, you can understand all you like, but when it comes down to it, you're still going to have some niggles. He's not raging, by any means. It's just a gentle sadness, I suppose. <p dir="auto">He has a few more photos to take. <p dir="auto">Perhaps it's just evidence of Dad wanting to hold onto life. Holding onto his camera and other things are just a way of doing that. The thing is - he doesn't have to do anything, as I tell him. <p dir="auto">He just has to let go of the last breath when the time comes. <p dir="auto">We'll sort out the rest. <p dir="auto">*<em>This post was written in response to The Minimalist community's daily prompt - this time 'Transformation Thursday'. From items no longer in use that are only cluttering up your home, to memories, relationships, gripes and other emotional and mental hang-ups that are keeping you stuck... it's time to let go. Many of my posts are coming back to my father at this stage, forgive me - but as I'm living in his garden whilst he's transforming in a really, really big way, I'm sure you can understand! <p dir="auto"><center> <h1><code>With Love, <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/riverflows/23t6xT1abr5kFMeEirKwZ2QqT6MK9U4SBpKCQZAjVEojgm7uSSGL9AJSuwtBsUmMAV5jv.png" alt="image.png" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/riverflows/23t6xT1abr5kFMeEirKwZ2QqT6MK9U4SBpKCQZAjVEojgm7uSSGL9AJSuwtBsUmMAV5jv.png 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/riverflows/23t6xT1abr5kFMeEirKwZ2QqT6MK9U4SBpKCQZAjVEojgm7uSSGL9AJSuwtBsUmMAV5jv.png 2x" /> <p dir="auto"><strong>Are you on HIVE yet? Earn for writing! Referral link for FREE account <a href="https://hiveonboard.com?ref=riverflowsJ" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">here<br /> <a href="https://peakd.com/@naturalmedicine" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">
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 last month  

I keep thinking that while it seems terribly, heartbreakingly sad, it might in a way also be empowering. This letting go of things. If it's normally liberating to let something go, to give it to someone else and think "ok, it's theirs now", I don't imagine it stops being liberating in this particular case.

Your Dad seems like a man with an enormous heart. <3

Perhaps it's just evidence of Dad wanting to hold onto life.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

I know it's become cliche. It just came to me. Especially since Dylan wrote it for his Dad. <3

Ah there's a reason Thomas's poem is oft quoted and remembered.

He does have heart - a quite innocent, guileless one really. They don't make em like they used to.

 last month  

"Transforming in a really, really big way" - to say this is a beautiful interpretation of the prompt would probably be an understatement.

Thank you for the words, and for being such a big part of this community ❤️


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You are welcome. I love the freedom these prompts offer. I wonder if you knew minimalism was such a vast topic when you started? I've certainly learnt a lot about what it really means through this community.

 last month  

Thanks for your lovely compliment.😊
I knew it was way more than monotone colours and I'm happy that others embrace and identify with all the other aspects that I see and live as minimalism. But, yes, I'm learning more every day, which is what I had hoped to gain from the community ❤️

 last month  

I have been reflecting and having similar thoughts about what my dad might have been pondering, reflecting, and coming to terms with while accepting his days were coming to an end.
I felt every line of what you've observed and experienced with your dad, and I'm touched to know that you're spending time with him (in his garage), which means more to him than you could ever imagine.

I applaud you for highlighting this aspect of transformation that is so often overlooked, especially of one of your dearest.💞


#TransformationThursday

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I feel lucky he talks a little of these things, sometimes with humour, sometimes with quiet wonder and uncertainty. Never at length, but enough exchanges for me to feel blessed he can talk to me s little about it. Most of the time, he says, he doesn't think about it too much, which is pretty crazy but also very admirable. He's trying up focus on life whilst he can.

It is not easy to let go, especially at that age when seeing those things you have reminds so much of those days. But, I am glad he summoned up the courage to give to his grandchild even when he didn't do it himself.

This post hit close to home, having shared with my Mother her last moments.

As written in her obituary, "She took her last breath at 3:15am on August 3, 2020. She had been unresponsive and laboring with breathing at the time, though with no sign of distress. She took her last breath as if readying herself for an underwater dive and then was gone beneath the cosmic waters."

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She took her last breath as if readying herself for an underwater dive and then was gone beneath the cosmic waters

Stunning. Really beautiful. There's a sense of going elsewhere instead of finality.

You must miss her. It's not that long ago. Were you there?

You must miss her. It's not that long ago.

Very much. At 96 she had been a constant in my life. We ended up being seniors together. :)

Were you there?

Yes. She lived with me the last year of her life and died in my home. I authored her obituary.

96 is wonderful innings. How lucky you were!

Yeah it is a pretty good run. 😎👍

Hello, it's great that your father likes photography and music, nice post my friend.👍👍👍

This is a beautiful piece. Acceptance combined with a desire still to seek out moments to make just a few more memories. Your dad has the right attitude. While he is still here, he is still alive, and choosing to find joy in what he does. Sending love, precious lady xx !LUV !LADY

Today he said he isn't going to die, because he doesn't have time for that shit.

😂

He's also joked he's lending me 500 k so I can afford the beautiful house across the road.

He's a lot less feisty in the morning when his meds haven't kicked in 😂

We are still having a nice time, whilst we can.

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