I experienced over 20 years of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, addictions, six - 30 day hospitalizations, 6 rounds of Electric Convulsive Therapy (ECT), and an untold amount of very powerful pharmaceutical psychotic drug treatments running from about 1979 - 2000. What was the root cause of my 20+ year journey through hell?
Tree struck by lightning summer 2017
Trauma, lack of healthy communication skills, emotional & mental immaturity, lack of healthy role models and a lack of skills on how to heal and maintain healthy boundaries - all stemming from a profoundly sick social construct that manifested from generations of colonization, violence, abuse, coercion, lies and deceit. Our society breeds illness and then blames the individual for chemical imbalances, mental illness or lacking the will to heal. I believe that 99.9% of the people taking anti-depressants are not in fact dealing with chemical imbalances but rather manifesting symptoms as a result of cognitive behaviours that are the result of a profoundly sick social structure.
Modern society is deeply sick and very unhealthy for us. People 'escape' to nature just to recharge and heal during their short slavery holiday breaks. Why go to nature? Why do we feel so relaxed and at home on the lake, in the bush, camping or on the water? Because that is were we are supposed to be. We are not meant to be crammed into concrete jungles, slaving away for masters and working 40+ hour a week just to survive. We are not meant to be away from our family, have our culture, customs, ceremonies and language extinguished or to pay somebody else just for the privilege of living.
Signs of a profoundly sick social structure (winter 2016)
People are sick as a result of being slaves to a system that harvests our energy, ideas, creativity and time for the benefit of a few high ranking feudal masters. Large cities, tight time schedules, processes and complex infrastructure is designed to ensure maximum productivity. But we are not designed to be a machine to work the factory.
We are creative, loving, spiritual beings, not some cog in the industrial complex. There has been a program running for thousands of years to ensure that we don't connect to our spiritual source and build beautiful relationships but instead focus on physical addictions, consumption and productivity. The slave masters focused on destroying the very things we need, healthy relationships, pristine nature, clean water and fresh air!
If we recognize what a healthy relationship looks like, we would know in an instant when we are being violated, taken advantage of and abused. We would see the violence, coercion, force and intimidation long before it impacted our lives. We would see the fear, confront it head on and have the support of our tribes in the process. The psychopaths would not be able to get away with any of their shit because we could see them coming a mile away.
Time to let the old rot away to release nutrients for the living
But when their plan spans multiple generations, the trauma gets passed down from generation to generation. The abused becomes the abuser and help perpetuate the cycle of abuse without much effort needed by the original psychopath. Years ago it was just fine to take children away from their families, put them into schools and beat their culture out of them. They could only speak English, study church doctrine and be good subjects of the Queen. They were abused, raped, molested and beat without having a voice or being able to find support from their families. While the residential schools, internment camps and even the concentration camps are no longer used, the practice continues.
Taking kids away from their parents to then be in foster homes is no different than what happened years ago. The US government is taking kids away and putting them into detention facilities (aka internment camps). Remember all those conspiracy theories from a few years ago when old Walmart stores were taken over by Homeland Security? Well, now they are being used! Families are being destroyed and the youth traumatized. In some areas of the world, like Palestine, people are being gunned down like animals and age does not matter. The abused now brainwashed into dehumanizing others for the evil agenda that unfolds across this planet. We are witnessing and participating in cultural genocide through all these social structures that we currently think is 'normal', 'free' and 'legal'.
The covert and overt violence has a profound impact on the individual. Shame, guilt and other dark feelings then ensure the individual says confined in their own mind thinking it is all their own fault. Why are people depressed, anxious or suicidal? Because we are not supposed to live this way.
When we open our eyes and start to heal the trauma, we quickly realize that everything we do in life is completely backwards. Returning to Mother Earth, growing our own food, healing and providing for our families is where we are supposed to reside. By working on our relationships we find a connection that we have lost as a result of thousands of years of colonization. We find ways to love ourselves, heal from the trauma and then express that love externally in our other relationships.
Pineapple fruit, 54.5 degrees north, Tawatinaw Valley 2016
Spirit is allowed to then fully engage and start fulfilling its life purpose. Our life purpose is not to be slaves but rather to learn how to be powerful, self-governing, spiritual, creative beings. We cannot do that when we are slaves.
The sadness and pain that I experience each day is a result of being a witness to the violence, killing and pain that others go through. My capacity to empathize is strong and it pains me greatly. However, I use that as motivation to keep writing, encourage change and rebuke violence.
Drugs are not going to heal this evil epidemic that is sweeping the planet. Profound, meaningful and significant changes in how we interact with one another will. It must start with healing thy self first! The solution is within and I cannot express enough how important it is that each and every single one of us find a way to do the work and heal.
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself - Matthew 22:39
Until we get this work done, we won't be able to see the solutions to all the violence that goes on around us. Wars will rage on, anger, hatred, envy, greed, contempt, etc will all continue for generations. The biggest epidemic of our time is a lack of self love, boundaries and commitment to peace and prosperity. The only reason the slave masters get away with their shit is because we let them. The moment we love our self and set the boundary where we will no longer tolerate violence, they lose!
When we heal ourselves and fix our social structures around us, depression, anxiety and suicide will go away. We have a lot of work to do in order for that to happen. The good news is that we don't have to change the whole world to accomplish this, but rather just our little corner of the world. The power and influence remains with each individual!
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A sobering post Mr. @wwf. An end to violence. A major shift in consciousness to a deep and abiding connection to nature, to the reestablishment of personal responsibility, self-love, loving kindness to others, wholesome boundaries and cooperative abundance, and of course all of us coming to understand our insatiable desire for things, and more things is insanity. And then too our slave masters shall rise above the violence against humanity and all creatures they have enjoyed for ages to mingle happily with the masses in their new clothing of sack cloth and ashes.
You are either mad or visionary... or both. Is such a vision possible?
I believe it is. I believe in Light and that it is more powerful than Darkness.
It seems however that this is the great drama of humanity, and always has been, and if history is any indicator, always will be. I don't know how it shall come to pass. Possibly through some divinely ordered cataclysmic event, or... perhaps over the next several hundred years we'll rise above our gross insanity and gradually come to know and practice a path of love. Or who knows perhaps there is some sort of Cosmic graduation into another realm upon death where these ideals are realized. I do not know.
But in the meantime like the man who stood on the sea shore throwing starfish one at a time back into the surf...a seemingly unending task, we love one another, we practice peace, we practice responsibility. We welcome light. And we hope. One day at a time.
Well, I've been called crazy many times my friend. If what is going out there is called 'normal' then indeed I am crazy by comparison. In my book I hinted that there is a graduation of sorts. Worth giving it a try, right?
I would have to agree, @wwf. I think it is our toxic society causing this epidemic. But because of our current system, it is much more convenient to shove chemicals into our bodies than deal with what really ails us. We can't be good like drones and follow blindly if we can think for ourselves.
This is happening today in Nicaragua. This morning at 6:00 am local time, Ortega launched his assault on the blockades. More people have died. Many are very young, as young as twelve. Churches are no longer sanctuaries. People are being attacked there as well. The violence is escalating out of control.
It is difficult to have self love when it has been beaten into you that you are worthless. They have not been shown what boundaries are. There can be no commitment to peace until they are at peace within themselves first.
Each individual must make this choice. We can lead by example but we can not change what the damage others have inflicted for generations. They need to do the healing themselves and it is a road fraught with pain. Many fear this and need the courage to move forward.
We are born into slavery from days long ago. Blinded by the fake justice to keep us in line into the workforce, feeding the grand masters with the money we make on a golden plate. We then justify that this chaotic mess is good so that we can provide for our families.
Place us on a lot, pay for the water to drink, put up bylaws, pay pay pay away our freedom to live and then call that living.
Monetary value is placed on everything, even a child born into a poor family is worth less than a child born into wealth. Why is that ok?
Rebel against such a system? Dare to take the leap? Then take the chances of possibly having your family torn apart, having the kids taken away so they can be put back into the same slaving society to keep the cycle going. Can't afford to have the odd one out says the system. Keep them inline, crack the whips, add some bricks, their loads are not heavy enough to carry. When it is then they will break. Then they will have a tighter grasp on the people when they start using the pharmaceuticals to help them pretend that they are happy.
Let them destroy themselves with such fake medicine. The poison will kill the weak, leaving us with an elite troop of good little soldiers. Disease will spread to help weed them out and we will fill them with more poison, call it the answer, the vaccine. Those who stand a chance will stand out and those who don't will die, doing our bidding.
That's almost a post right there. I apologise for such a long comment. You sparked something inside me that needed to be said.
I love the rant! Thank you for letting it out and sharing.
You seem to have that ability to bring it out of me :P
Spot on. The violence of society is becoming more evident to me. Everywhere we turn, there is manipulation, deceit, and greed. Even those who are supposedly "spiritual" are engaging in these behaviors. I see that clearer with each passing day.
I went through Netflix the other night looking for something uplifting to watch. I am sure you are not surprised to know that I could not really fund anything. A few nature shows and that was about it. The rest is violent and demeaning stuff.
Our entire culture is built around this. That is why I wrote the post last night about being addicted to negativity. I think we are so conditioned for it that people search it out.
Ya, I'm not surprised. I'll check out your post. You and I seem to be finding a convergence in our blogs. The polarity is increasing and to stand in the neutral is getting more and more challenging. But I do find more people contemplating being balanced and centered in order to survive these times. I am grateful for your friendship, support and encouragement.
Nature is the most important force in our lives. The slavers want us to believe that THEY have complete control over nature like they have control over the social forces. They want us to bow down to THEM. There have to be certain balances for people to thrive. A certain way of thinking that turns people into cogs has been instilled in too many.
Great post! Thanks for taking the time to put all of that together for us. Ironically I put something together this morning with strikingly similar characteristics. And because of that, @foxyspirit sent me a link to this post and I’m glad she did.
The biggest obstacle with this post is the people who really need to chew on it are too busy working to have time to A) Find the article and B) Find the time somewhere between mortgage, coffee break, lunch break, the traffic drive home or before bed to read it.
Again, thanks! Now I need to go Thank Foxy!
Thank you. Busy? Yup. But what is 'busy'? Is it an excuse? I found in my own life that I spent my time where I felt it needed to be spent based on my own priorities. But there was ALWAYS room to re-prioritize my time to ensure I was working on the things that were important to me rather than running the hamster wheel. Some people like single parents may have less flexibility to be able to do that and those situations are getting worse as the slave masters tighten their grip. But I think each and every single one of us has a choice on where we spend our time. We make the time if it is important enough. I think our biggest obstacle is our own slavery and unwillingness to remove ourselves from the slave system to return to the land. But that requires a tribe to do that work. My wife and I have done the work ourselves for nearly 15 years and it is TOUGH WORK! Rebuilding tribes, healing the individuals and working together could make that journey much easier for all involved.
I loved your post and would encourage anybody who is interested in her views and drawing of a little girl in Syria to go visit her post. Beautiful work.
https://steemit.com/slothicorn/@dandays/did-you-hear-the-one-about-the-musician-who-asked-for-a-drawing-of-syria
Yes... I suffer from anxiety and it makes the days difficult. I have learned to handle it and how to calm myself.
I noticed in the last few years that even watching the news can provoke anxiety in me.. so I stopped watching the news. Did it help? Overall, yes to some degree.
When I have control over what causes me anxiety, I eliminate it from my life, viewing and visiting. The things I cannot control, I have learned to deal with (in smaller doses) and avoid if I can; even if only for a limited time.
Do you feel that if you had a clan or tribe around you practicing specific ceremonies and helping one another that your capacity to deal with the anxiety or stress would be augmented with the support? Do you find your tribe here provides that for you, even if it is in a virtual way?
I don't really have friends - I have my husband, my parents and that's about it. I get most of my support (aside from hubby) here on steemit and in the Discord groups.
Great article and thanks for sharing your brave adventure. I too have suffered many years with depression, but when I scale back on a work week for money I can't keep up with, get enough rest, the right food, I feel much better.
Always interested in the self-love and loving our neighbors and the whole boundary thing and also being highly sensitive and empathetic. Not an easy balance.
There are people that almost seem to believe they're entitled in hurting others--and especially in "love relationships," as if society confirms it's okay to expect a check list of our partners and if that's not there it's perfectly fine to "kick them to the curb," call the other person selfish, cite your job as the most important/reason.
Anyway, nice to know there are others out there like you who are moving towards personal healing and wisdom and away from the mass exodus from personal integrity. Many are now happy to just remain children in this system and there is no reason to grow up. Like the early teen years they try out their small freedoms in rebellious ways, hurting others, being greedy (cool kid on block) and doing whatever they want just because they were curious or felt like it.
You mentioned psychopaths and though I don't think there are many who really do fit the no empathy diagnosis, there does seem to be a huge increase in narcissism. Wondering if you've noticed that too?
Thank you. I resonate deeply with what you wrote. The psychopaths that I usually speak about are mostly in the upper rungs of power, so most of us don't really get an opportunity to experience them directly. But the narcissism is rampant and I too expressed many narcissistic behaviours during my sick days. The narcissism is indeed increasing, but I think it is more the awareness is increasing rather than the number of instances. We are going through full disclosure at the moment, which means the hidden is no longer hidden. So when we expose thousands of years of darkness it will seem like the world has gone to hell. But hell was here all along, just hidden from us. Now that it is exposed, we have an opportunity to shine the light on it all, heal it and then move on. That process has indeed increased in the past few years and continues to accelerate. It will take many more years yet before we are finished exposing all the darkness.
Thank you for your effort. Again, I think your assessment of the situation is spot on.
I think we deliberately depress ourselves as a society. We consistenly choose negative reinforces that backfire and lead us yearning for societal change. Given a second chance, the same thing happens all over again
I think we do that because we don't have our customs, ceremonies or traditions to re-enforce, teach and support a more healthy life style, social structures and relationships. We choose the negative reinforcements due to the new customs, ceremonies and traditions of the colonizers and that does indeed backfire. Given a second chance with our own tools, we can get through this peacefully.
There are many factors that surround the person with that condition of thoughts and attitudes. The strength or weakness is inside that person and it is she who decides which one to detonate. To many it makes all the problems around it strong, it depresses others and makes them weak. I am sorry for all that you have gone through and I see that you have had enough strength to get to this point, so continue with your strength and may God bless you @wwf.
While I agree with your assessment that each and every single one of us has strengths and weaknesses, we must also recognize that as children, we don't have the emotional and mental maturity to deal with the behaviours, violence and abuse of the adults around us. We are also molded by our environment during our informative years and many of us struggle to heal from what happened in that period of time. It manifests in our struggles well into adulthood. That is far greater than what is within. however, as adults, it is our responsibility to heal and learn from those experiences rather than unconsciously living the rest of our life carrying around that trauma and acting out as a result of it. Through my own interactions with people around me, I was able to heal and learn but it also required that I surrender to that process. It started with a conscious choice in my part, but I absolutely needed my community to help me through the rest. There was no way I could have done it all by my self. I needed others to be the mirror for me to see in myself what I could not see for many years. I felt weak due to the violence of others. When we put the violence aside, we end up building each other up rather than tearing each other down. Our social groups play a pivotal roll in how we view life and each other. The choice though, still rests with the individual.
That is a very difficult subject to understand my dear friend @wwf, See the case of Oprah Winfrey, for mentioning one. She received many abuses, even sexual ones in her childhood, but she is a successful woman now. Surely, as you say, she surrounded herself with people who helped her overcome those traumas. She made herself strong. I tell you my case: I am the fourth of my brothers, my first brother, the son of a first husband of my mother, my second sister, daughter of a second husband of my mother, and my third sister and I, daughters of a third husband. I stopped seeing my dad when he was 12 years old and at the insistence of my sister we went one day to visit a city where they told me my father was there. My mother marries for the third time and I adopt that father as my own and he adopts me as his daughter. Our father-daughter relationship was good, but my sister's and he's not. His trauma did not let her see what a good man he was. I do not say that I did not have traumas, but I accepted the situation. I am a weak woman due to the traumas of my childhood, and that did not let me be as successful as I wanted to be. Thank you for responding to my humble opinion. PS: We all need psychological help.
Its also getting spoon fed constantly by media with representations of what "success" is....whether one believes is versed in the Bible or not...for me it often gets back to Jesus's message about treasures on earth vs treasures in heaven....it does seem we spend a lot of time chasing the wrong treasures...but its damn hard to go against the grain...
Indeed it is. A friend once told me that salmon swim against the current in order to spawn. It is a tough journey and in the end they die, but through the effort, work, dedication, trials and tribulation, they succeed to reach the spawning beds to start the next generation. It is part of their journey as this is part of ours. I do indeed learn much through it all which makes me wiser and stronger. Just as gravity provides the resistance for our body to grow stronger, these situations also provide resistance to help us grow stronger emotionally, mentally and spiritually!
I have learned that "being strong" begins by accepting ones weakness...
I do think a lot of people, maybe even the majority seem to focus their attention and energy in negative things.
But when thinking about the past I wonder if people from the 50s were happier? people from the 1800s were happier? what about people from the 1500s?
And my answer is no to each and every one of those questions.
Even with all the problems we might have with our societies, we are certainly better than before.
I don't know any person who would prefer to live in the 1700s for example and not live right now in the 2000s.
That is why I actually think we are getting better, and we might be living the best time for humanity, and even getting better every year (would someone prefer to live in the 90s? or be currently living in 2018?)
For me, my recover involved confronting all the negative shit in my life ... all of it. Everything was on the table. Focusing on the negative allowed me to shine a light on it so that I could heal it. So I'm more than willing to shine a light on any negative stuff I find. That way I can heal and return to neutral position. I can then deal with the light and the dark, being able to move both ways without blockage or anxiety.
As for people who lived in the past, I'm sure almost every singe indiginous individual alive today on Turtle Island would say that they were better off hundreds of years ago compared to today. People who have experienced hundreds of years of genocide that continues to this very moment may disagree with you that people back then were happier than they are today.
What is the foundation for your assessment of 'we are getting better, and we might be living the best time for humanity'? Is it based on standard of living, technology, life style? For me, I see debt slavery, feudal serfs, greed and violence at every street corner, voting box and cash register. I see people so detached from spirit that they engage in violence very single day and justify it or even see it as being okay or normal.
Well, I am working hard to return to the land. Some would think that I'm returning to the 1700's with the way we live. What ever judgements people use, so be it. I don't care. I'm on a spiritual journey and it requires that I return to the land and work hard on many aspects of my relationships with myself, others, Creator and Mother Earth. In my view, the indigenous peoples of the 1700's were the closest to that, than any colonized region of this planet.
We won't be getting better until we end the violence and one of the first steps is to heal ourselves and decolonize in order to find peaceful relationships and self-governance.
We have more knowledge and a better life than before. We have a higher understanding about our reality, our general knowledge is advancing constantly.
Even if it might be hard to realize, today we have less poverty than in the past and better health than in the past.
I would like to know what was the best time of humanity in your opinion? the indigenous peoples of the 1700's?
For me, it is clearly the present.
Was the past any different?
It is very funny to read that since we are having this conversation using technology that didn't exist until 2 years ago (Steem blockchain).
nice post,but i have a question,how it happen?
How what happen? You need to be more specific.
i enjoy it ,thank for shareing
Your posts are very interesting especially for me who is
still a beginner
The US is a concentration camp imo.