Ulog #1.2 What Does It Feel to Have a Father?

I grew up without having any father figure. We were 6 in the family whom were raised alone by our mother. Life was really difficult then especially when she had to send us all to school.

However, amidst the difficulty in finances and other needs, the most difficult thing to live by at that time is to have no one to talk to about guy stuff like how to court a girl or how to understand women.

I could still remember the day when I was watching my friend and his father harvesting their crops from a fruit tree. I unintentionally told my girlfriend how amazing it could be to have a father.

I saw the threatening tears in her eyes but she managed to stop it. I knew at that time she pity me. She only told me, "You are still great even without him."

I thank God for such a beautiful and kind-hearted woman who opened a lot of possibilities for me. She is one of the great reminders of life that even without a father, I could still make great decisions.

Everything was actually going well. I have come to understand that my father chose to leave us and be a father to a different family. He already has another family and we were just part of his past whom he chose to forget.

Today, my brother told me that our father came to him to ask for help. Saying he already has no one and he is sick. It wouldn't be an easy one for all of us to just welcome him with open arms. I wanted to tell him what we have gone through but a part of me also wants to see him and forgive him.

Really, what does it feel to have a father?