My Life As a Stutterer – Changing The Paradigm

My name is Emmanuel and I have been stuttering pretty much my whole life. For many years it was a riddle to me, the stammer kept showing up every day without any intention to leave me in peace. Presentations at school, social interaction and more or less every aspect of my life that had to do with speaking in front of other people was a huge challenge for me. Fear of speaking was always there and it gradually became an unpleasant part of myself.

An interesting fact about life in general is that once you think that something can have full control over your personality, it usually becomes a burden and also a part of your self-perception.  

Even though I went to many speech therapists during my life, somehow it did not work. The result was that I ended up being confused and angry with myself. With speech therapy I felt like it was always only about the stutter, which, in my opinion, is only the symptom and not the actual cause. 

However, I never gave up and never stopped hoping that sooner or later I would find out what the real cause behind my stutter is. So one day (about 4 years ago), I came across an interesting book called ''When Listening Comes Alive: A Guide to Effective Learning and Communication'' by Paul Madaule, who talks about the ''Tomatis Method''. 

After a research on the internet I found out that Gerard Depardieu (the famous actor who enacted the role of' ''Obelix'' in the movie ''Asterix and Obelix'') had hearing problems and that he used to stutter. So to cut a long story short, he visited a doctor in Paris to have a specific treatment and at the end the problem was simply gone.  

The treatment is called ''Tomatis Method'', named after the French doctor who developed this method. Let me describe it in an understandable manner for a person who is not familiar with it. So the way I understood it is as follows:  

• We all use our ears to communicate with the rest of the world and just like you have a dominant hand, everyone has a dominant ear. 
• As far as speech goes, our right ear should be the dominant one because it is the quickest way to the left hemisphere of the brain, which controls speech and language. The majority of the people's dominant ear is the right one but in my case, it's the left. 
• Therefore it takes me more time to get words out because they have to travel twice the distance. It's like when you drive somewhere and suddenly there's a detour. Many people say that when I talk my brain works faster than my mouth, which is correct. Because of the detour signs my words build up just like the cars do in a traffic jam.

The “Tomatis Method” within the context of stuttering is about activating the right ear and by extension the left hemisphere of the brain. It is basically a listening program therapy. You simply listen to electronically modified music, mostly classical music for two hours a day and afterwards you do speech exercises.

My program lasted about 10 months. I have to underline that the aforementioned method has many more areas of applications and of course it does not mean that it is the one and only cure for stuttering, if it is considered to be a treatment for stutter at all.  

I completed the listening program about a year ago and still practice, doing the speech exercises I was advised to carry on doing.  

Nevertheless, it is hard for me admitting that every now and then, I experience disappointment, simply because stuttering does not go easily away.   

I am aware that opinions diverge about which treatment is more effective and one important fact is that everyone’s stuttering is different. However the listening program therapy is something I believed and invested time and energy in. In the end of the day what really counts is that you face your fears regardless of which way you are going to follow. 

For me personally, there must be a constant repetition in order to change from within and make a paradigm shift in my life, which I am achieving little by little. My conclusion is that you have to take a decision about what path you want to follow, and then work as hard as you can and don’t give up by persisting until you have achieved your goal.

I am very excited to share an important part of my life and I am really interested into learning more about other people who have similar or different experiences to share with the growing online community of Steemit. 

To be continued.