Upside Deaf ; Bedroom Story Mentorship

in #story-mentor7 years ago (edited)

I express my gratitude to @michelle.gent for creating this Story Mentorship group

  • Who are you?

  • I am your worst nightmare

  • Haa, that's stupid

  • Yet it's true

  • Stop gallivanting and do something productive with your life

  • I am

  • Hmm, I can't deal with this right now
    (goes offline)

  • OK

    Image source: Pixabay
    The next day, the first speaker finally known as Peter was found dead in his room hanging upside down from the ceiling and stabbed four times in the chest. Each stab followed a angle consecutive to the last stab to the heart. For some reason, his phone kept blinking. An unknown number replied, possibly from a previous chat, the message said "Gotcha" )

  • Hello

  • Hello

  • Hi

  • Hi

  • Uhmm, can I know you?

  • Sure

  • Well, tell me who you are.

  • I am your worst nightmare.

  • ???

  • Kelly, is this you? Stop kidding around.

  • ..............

  • Come on girl. This ain't funny. Switch to your other line, I gotta tell you something.

  • This is not Kelly. Kelly is dead!

  • ...........

  • Fuck off bozo

  • Soon it will be your turn

  • (Block's the number)

  • Don't you know it's rude to block someone?

  • (goes offline)

Ann was frightened at the spooky and eerie way, the unknown person messaged her. She felt scared that even after she blocked the person, he/she could still message her. Picking up her phone, she called Kelly.
Five minutes to ten, ten to twenty, Kelly's phone wasn't going through. She refused to panic, maybe Kelly forgot her phone somewhere or just can't hear it's ringing.
She tried it again and the call was answered

  • "Oh thank goodness, Kelly, where are you?"
  • ".............."
  • "Hello! Can you hear me?"
  • "................"
  • "Uhmm, Kelly; are you there? "
  • "I told you she was dead"

The line went dead. Ann kept shaking as she dropped her phone but picked it up and redialed it. It was ringing and she could hear the phone ringing downstairs
"What the.... "
She kept calling as she left her room and walked down stairs towards the direction of the ringing.
Getting to the kitchen, she sighted the ringing phone, Kelly's phone, on the counter.
Her breath hitched as she saw blood in the shape of a hand that had clutched the phone. Still shaking, she tapped the phone and a video began playing. In it, she could see Kelly sitting on her bed using her laptop then the video went static, the next clip was Kelly standing up as if she heard something at the door.
Clip number three showed her (Kelly) being dragged by something and a piercing scream
Static......
The screaming continued but Kelly was nowhere to be seen in the clip
Static.....
Last clip showed Kelly's body hanging from the ceiling upside down with a knife to her chest and multiple cuts that dripped blood. This made Ann to scream so loudly that it woke her parents up. They came down and found her weeping profusely. Inquiring about what had happened, the speechless weeping Ann pointed at the phone.
Her parents saw the bloody phone but that was all, there was no video.
The police arrived in split seconds, they interviewed Ann and saw the unknown messages.
They contacted Kelly's parents and they said that Kelly told them, she would be at a sleepover at Ann's. Her room was spotless, no sign of an attack.
Again, there was also no video. A search was put up for Kelly.
Three days later, there was no still signs of Kelly but Ann was found dead in her room but this time around, the signature was different.

She was sprawled on the bed with her eyes wide with shock and three knives plunged into her heart like darts. Nobody knows what she saw but her eyes disclosed only that whatever it was, it was sheer horror..
As her body was moved to the morgue, a police officer saw her phone blinking. The text message showed a picture of a buried hand and a text "Gotcha"

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pretty cool story..

I upvoted and followed you. Do the same for me And we could Help each other Earn ..!!..

Hey @samson12,

I don't think you quite grasped exactly what I meant with the Bedroom project.

Your next project for the Mentorship Group is to tell me something about where you live. No, not your town, not your street, think closer.
Tell me something about where you sleep – you can’t get more personal than that.
I don’t mind if it’s fact, fiction or a mixture, tell me as much detail about your bed, bedroom, sleeping quarters as you possibly can.
Tell me how you feel about the room, your bed, your bedcovers, your pillows.
Give me detail, make me think I’m there, seeing what you see, thinking what you think.
Draw your readers in. Take your time, make it interesting, not a list of what’s on your dressing table, textures, smells, thoughts.

I feel this story is a little bit of an amalgamation of the move Scream and an urban legend (the one where the murderer is actually in the house with the babysitter and the kids).

Because of the disjointed 'text' messages, I feel the reader is left out rather than drawn in - the message is between two people - neither of which is your reader.

If you want to have another go, that's cool :)

Ok. I will.
Thank you

Upvoted by fbm

Thank you.