Be a grown-up your kid can look up to

in #steemiteducation7 years ago

I'm constantly amazed when I hear someone complain that their kid doesn't read. Johnnie doesn't like reading... That is such a non-argument, if you ask me. I love reading, and as a writer I'm probably biased, but I don't think there is such a thing as “he doesn't like reading”.

It just means you failed in inspiring a love of books in him, at a young age.
And a lot of these people go on to tell you they did everything they could – they bought him books and told him to read and all, it's a mystery why he still doesn't want to. But the trouble with most of these people is very simple – they don't read!
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See, it's not a mystery at all. Example plays a huge part in a child's learning and development. It's not enough to just give him books or hire tutors or tell him to read. If he sees Mum and Dad just lying in front of the telly every night, that's what little Johnnie will grow up to do.
You may not understand this, but your child looks up to you, like a lot. The first person a kid admires in their life is his parent. I'm not talking about when you grew up and began seeing some faults in your parents, no, I'm talking about when you were five.
If you spend some time with the large majority of five-year-olds, you'll see that most of them are trying to emulate their parents, in some way. Because when your child is small, you – the parent – are his superhero. You're the one capable of fixing anything, you know everything, you can very probably travel to the moon.

It's really a shame that so many parents waste that valuable opportunity.

If you, the parent, can be this amazing superhero without reading books, then your child sees that books are disposable. Let's face it, if you don't need books to be a superhero, then what's the point of them at all?
You can't complain that your child didn't grow up liking to read, if you didn't read yourself. You just can't. I mean, I get it, you're busy, as a grown-up, with work and all that.

How dare you assume your child's time is any less valuable?

If books aren't worth your precious time, why would they be worthy of your child's? I mean reading is amazing, but if your kid sees that you treat reading as an obligation, as a sort of homework, something that is not fun at all, how could he ever know it's amazing?
He'd much rather do things that he sees as fun, like play. Besides, your kid will soon grow into an adult himself. He'll get a job, or have school, he'll get a girlfriend, he'll become busy too. He won't make time, for the simple reason that you didn't make time.
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And it's not just books, they're just an example. This goes for pretty much anything. If you can be the superhero while being cruel, or while having terrible manners, or while slapping your wife around – then you make those things seem okay to your young child, when they're really not.
I mean, look at all the bad traits that are so common among our species. Alcohol, abuse, bullying and the like. It's been shown that bullies were bullied themselves, people who abuse their families were abused in their own homes. Kids with alcoholic parents often grow up to develop some sort of substance issue themselves. Because example is the best way of teaching something.
Parents make this mistake of wanting their children to be someone. And then they're surprised that their kid is not that person.
But the actual problem is that they expect their child to be someone they, themselves, are not. But if that person is so great and so worthy of admiration, why aren't you trying to be that, too?
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If you want your child to read, read.

If you want your child to be kind, be compassionate.

If you want your child to know the importance of family, spend time with your own family.

You reap what you sow, it's not that hard.

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Your best article yet !!
My wife (OT for kids - mainly very young 18 months + with potential problems, Autism, ADHD , English teacher and kids bookshop owner) will love this article when I show her ! Especially your cartoon which is perfect.
We always encourage parents to take the time to sit and read with the kids, to have some bonding time and being educational too practising their reading. So important these days as my wife is getting more and more toddlers with attention and concentration issues when they start school which she blames firmly on parents giving their toddlers tablets and phones to play on.
The wife rants on this issue for hours...unfortunately lol ;-)
Keep em coming, and be safe and happy :-)

Thank you very much, Nathen! I hope she likes it, too :)
I wish I could take credit for the cartoon, but I just found it on Facebook, to be honest and just really liked it.

which she blames firmly on parents giving their toddlers tablets and phones to play on.

I tend to agree with her on this, but i don't think it's just a problem with kids. I notice that most adults these days (so people who had tech-free childhoods) have very short attention spans. Many of them can barely focus on a small online article, if it's too long, then bam - they lose interest. It's a sad state of affairs, one that (indeed) can be improved by reading.
Thank you! you take care, too :D

I agree about it being a problem with adults, especially in SE Asia more than UK, they are glued to phones and tablets everywhere, but it's the toddlers that are a worry. We do see quick improvements however by getting parents to seriously limit their use at home and by using various play therapies.
By the way, it was a coincidence that yesterday I actually wrote a blog post, and it was about public libraries. (not so subtle hint lol)

good choice!

Well said!

I also like the expression: "Be the person your dog thinks you are."

I've never been able to teach my dog to read, though.

Yeah...but you don't see dogs doing loads of evil either, do you?

Thank you for this nice article!

Hi, this is your lucky day ! A very kind old whale has given delegated me some Power to help newbies, so I have a challenge for you my friend. Write an ORIGINAL ( I can check this) article of 500 words or more with 2 photos , which you took and in return, I will personally give you 0.5SBD, upvote you for 0.22 AND give you a resteem.....sounds like a fair deal ? Go for it :-)

Loving the initiative, Nathen ;)

Its not working too well...you cant even give it away :-(

As parents, it was our obligation to teach our children to read books. Our children need to know that reading books are so important thing they need to do in order for them to learn so much valuable thing. But i also do believe that the first important thing that we need to teach them is our good value.

Just saw your tweet and after reading I retweeted it and I will resteem your post and share it in my facebook group CleanSteemit.
It's so 100% right what you say, we must be an example for our children!
I grew up with my grandparents, I saw my grandpa sitting in his armchair and reading a book, it was short before I came to school, my wish was to can read as my grandpa.
After half a year school my birthday came and the gift was A Book!
It was Winnetou, Karl May, it was summer, I had school holiday. I went outside in our garden, climbed on my tree and started reading.
I think, 3 or 4 days and my first book was read, wonderful times!

Have a wonderful day and best regards
Tom

That is a lovely example. It's so good that your grandfather was there and was such a positive role model to you. I always saw my mom reading, it's how I learned that i liked to read.
Thank you for the support, it's much appreciated.

Have a wonderful day, too! :)

When my children were little we went to the library once a week. We would come home with a stack of new-to-us books to read.

Our nightly ritual was to read in bed for an hour. Those are memories I still treasure to this day.

I don't have the answers on how to instill the importance of spending quality time with children. I didn't have a great relationship with either of mine growing up. I do remember going to the library at least once a month, which was very important in raising myself to be an inquisitive adult still to this day.

Thanks for your thoughtful post @honeydue!

Exactly, there are a lot of adults who don’t realize most kids learn by copying what adults make. I have seen this with my own eyes.

The best way to teach children is for us to be a good example of what we want to teach.