Under the Rim. An epic galactic romp.
Intro and verses 1-20
Verses 21-40
Verses 41-60
Verses 61-70
“It's got it,” they whispered and all gathered round
To see what was on the VDU
But the screen it were wee and no-one could see
For there in the front stood a greedy few
This soon got resolved as the crew all fell back
The answer they viewed with elation
The Xylplixian blurb was a well-worn proverb …
But it loses its force in translation
“Well, it seems that you've done it” conceded the ghoul
Growing perceptibly oldish
In a burst of strange jargon he made good his bargain
And gave them a bag full of goldfish
Then he set the ship free far away from the fleet
God knows how – it was all very weird
And then the thing left – it was all rather deft
It just wobbled then plain disappeared
The Grey Fleet was missing – had it also solved
That strange creature's maddening query?
The crew didn't know but they didn't forego
Their sleep as they still were all bleary
The Overlord, in fact, had a similar adventure
And so also did his flotilla
He was eating his lunch when came to him a bunch
Of his girls – he took one and did grill 'er
“WASSAMATTER?” he yelled at th'unfortunate girl
(He weren't gent enough first to feed her)
“There's a great smoky mass” said the terrified lass
“And it wants to be took to our leader!”
Leaving his food behind he hurried out
As for the crumbs the rats ate 'em
He then overheard this riddle absurd
And considered the thing's ultimatum
The mate by this time had the thing by the neck
The computer, you see, he had broke it
“I'll give him the maxim before he attacks 'im”
Thought th'Overlord, “for surely he'll croak it”
The Overlord knew the Xylplixian tongue
He had picked it up on a vacation
So he could quite easily handle the measly
Problem -- he knew the quotation
Verses 71-80
He yelled out the answer to the visitor's question
This latter had the mate by the neck
He just looked aghast at the test being passed
And dropped the mate dead on the deck
“A pity,” moaned the thing, “you have staggered me there
I suppose we must let you all off
But just for some fun I'll put you near a sun
That has nearly become a green dwarf!”
So saying he waved a limb round in the air
To deliver them all as he said it
In an uncanny way the fleet went far away
Such a distance as you wouldn't credit
We'll leave them there now and get back to the Cap'n
About whom we've not lately heard
We've only seen view of the bulk of his crew
And his presence has just been inferred
But the Cap'n, our hero, weren't there at the time
He would not let such mishap befall 'em
You see, after his tale'd bored those regaled
He decided next time to enthrall 'em
He returned to his cabin to play with a toy
A spoil from some earlier treks
'Twas a matter transferrer whose whole insides were a
Labyrinth of bits most complex
He dialed a location far off from the ship
While the crew were all drunk and asleep
The white and ethereal thing immaterial
Had not yet appeared, nor'd the fleet
He took with him Callester for she'd become bored
And he wanted to see her all happy
There's a bit more as well but of this all he'd tell
Was the Cap'n were a right lonely chappie
He shoe-horned her into his one-man machine
It was getting to be quite a squeeze
She stuck her butt on a little side-strut
And he bent himself double on her knees
They soon got away and went straight to a planet
The Cap'n had been to before
It had on it a race quite unique in known space
And of them we shall now hear some more
Image: Pixabay
