The Urge to Be Understood Without Opening Up is Wrong!

in #mindset6 years ago

Hi, dear Steemians!

A lot of people think that success in life is all about your attitude and thought towards hard work and perseverance. That is why most motivational pieces are often centered around ideas regarding productivity, hope, determination, and etc.

But being successful and living a fulfilled life is not just about concepts mentioned above. The way you interact with other human beings and carry your character in society determines a great deal about who you are and the kind of life that you live.

Today, we are going to talk about being understood by our fellow human beings.


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Some of us are under the wrong impression that the people around us cannot really understand our feelings and thoughts.

In truth, we are the ones who shut ourselves away and do not open up about such feelings and beliefs to those closest to us.

We erroneously believe that they should be able to guess or predict how we are feeling or what we are thinking about.
This roots back to when we were merely infants. In that time, our needs and desires were quite simple.

We were either hungry, tired, or dirty. If not that, we humbly needed someone to comfort us and take us in their embrace.
But as we grew older, our needs, feelings, thoughts, and desires grew more and more complicated with us.


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The only difference being, that we still think that other people should ‘understand’ us and that we don’t need to explain ourselves.

This is as wrong as it is dangerous to our well-being. We cannot expect people to take up subtle clues and understand our inner dilemmas. What would be the point of communication and talking if all our inner desires and needs were apparent?

When we think like this, we tend to get irritated when other people do not understand us. We might think that they are distant, aloof, or simply, too stupid to understand the complexity of our character.

The result of this is bitter isolation. The feeling of being left out. The feeling of not belonging.


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This is hugely important because it indicates how we conduct ourselves in social situations. Our relationships with different people play a huge role in our happiness and success.

Being able to open up and actually ‘speak’ is really important if we want other people to understand us.

The feeling of loneliness that drives from the idea that there aren’t a whole lot of people who understand us can be truly devastating.

Change that by letting go of your ego and opening up to those that you can trust. The result will be a state of peace and inner tranquility that will surprise you.

A BIG HUG!

@chbartist

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Important Note!

I have been working very hard on this blog since the beginning. I have a very busy life but I am giving my best and believe me I have shared experiences that I have been coaching thousands of people and I know that the change of the Mindset should be daily. I am already grateful to see you giving upvotes to each other and you can see this with the fact that many already have 8, 9, 10 upvotes. But I'm sure that with the effort of all of us we will see a community with, more and more upvotes each others and for that everyone should get engaged so we can make it come true. I believe and we can! Resteem...

***Remember Community: Please, if you commented and upvote on a new post I did, please always go back to the previous one because if someone in the community commented lastly because of time zone differences it will be without your upvote and that would not be fair.

You all know the goal! We can reach: More and More Upvotes each others!

Attention!!!

I'm reading all the meaningful comments from the posts.

I am here making a list of all of you who have helped build this community by voting for each other who write meaningful comments and soon I will respond to everyone with comment and thank you all because I can already see this spirit being built in this Positive Mindset community and help between all of you.

You will receive my upvote in all material and brief comments I will do this in all the posts I am following very closely and I can see what the people who are generous and contribute to this legacy that I am trying to build with all of you can become reality in a short time.

AND

First of all, I would like to thank all of you, who are the most active and proactive in this community, showing your generosity and always with meaningful comments. From now on I will always make a list of these incredible people who have helped to expand our goal of growing ever more.

But I ask that if you are new around here you read many of the previous posts because they make it clear that we are building a community with respect among all, generosity and this blog is for those who really want to start moving their Mindset to positive and moreover be part of the growth of all of us who contribute to this blog. Please do not ask to include you in the list if you are just wanting upvotes because we want here people genuinely attuned to growth and good attitudes and as I have always said with Respect as the basis of all, generosity and positivity!

ABOUT OUR LIST!!! WE NEED GROW THIS LIST! LET'S GO TOGETHER IN THIS COMMUNITY - RESTEEM!

Feel free if you want to be included in the list of contributors to this community. Just ask at the end of your comment.

@juanmanuellopez1 @moghul @coolguy222 @newageinv @gowealth @blessed-girl @cruis @lexymaine @alokkumar121 @aceandnotes @darlenys01 @rafique1953 @marvyinnovation @wems @ajks @alaisguineasis @amnlive @kimmysomelove42 @praditya @tommyl33 @samryan @vickykarma @brightsun @oppongk @kryp70kn1gh7 @hobo.media @theticket @royer94 @bradley028 @nummulshrma @maxijgcomm @maikelblogo @mrblu @nancymj @petervi @mcoinz79 @missabigail @saludoalalma @mcnestler @moarafatshow @gargi @luis402 @rem-steem @shahzadeh @sumon-ar-vines @naijauser @yantrax @josema.saborido @khan.dayyanz @shapescooper @aceofhearts @marcocosta @rvag5 @fusroj @cashlane @borrowedearth @michaeljn @kchitrah @mitchhunter @nataliaeline @cherlianny @unknownphoton @unclefz @gardengranny @bettyamv @ghostwriter9 @wandrnrose7 @nancybriti @missladybug @shirophantomhive @rvag5 @ankitjnv @marvyinnovation @tommyl33 @gowealth @ustaadonline @daio @brightsun @mzubairch @lightestofideas @amit1995 @starapple @treodecimo @edinhazard @maxijgcomm @wasito @mariita52 @maroni55 @nataliaeline @ajtech2596 @keithf @wesleyvanderstel @grainsofsand @mariita52 @naijauser @castleirwell @juanmanuellopez1 @moghul @coolguy222 @newageinv @gowealth @blessed-girl @cruis @lexymaine @alokkumar121 @aceandnotes @darlenys01 @rafique1953 @marvyinnovation @wems @ajks @alaisguineasis @amnlive @kimmysomelove42 @praditya @tommyl33 @samryan @vickykarma @brightsun @royer94 @bradley028 @nummulshrma @maxijgcomm @maikelblogo @mrblu @nancymj @petervi @mcoinz79 @missabigail @saludoalalma @mcnestler @moarafatshow @gargi @luis402 @shahzadeh @sumon-ar-vines @naijauser @yantrax @josema.saborido @khan.dayyanz @shapescooper @aceofhearts @marcocosta @rvag5 @fusroj @cashlane @borrowedearth @michaeljn @kchitrah @mitchhunter @nataliaeline @cherlianny @unknownphoton @unclefz @gardengranny @bettyamv @ghostwriter9 @wandrnrose7 @nancybriti @missladybug @shirophantomhive @ankitjnv @marvyinnovation @tommyl33 @gowealth @ustaadonline @daio @brightsun @mzubairch @lightestofideas @amit1995 @starapple @treodecimo @edinhazard @maxijgcomm @wasito @mariita52 @maroni55 @nataliaeline @ajtech2596 @keithf @wesleyvanderstel @grainsofsand @mariita52 @naijauser @castleirwell @isabelpereira @nulifeiq @royer94 @yaleal @ushmil @nisiryan0522 @reveurgam @certain @kkins @nurseanne84 @robertyan @xtophercruzeu @theureview @anil566 @freedomanytime @clayrawlings @zetacoin @goldheart @artoftherhyme @jiujitsu @don-thomas @arsl14 @vishalmajumdar @thehippierays @kemc @aple @orgoniteog @abrish @zydane @cathynsons @shashiprabha @katebobkova @tramelibre @sanjoea @savedanimals @kshahrck @filmyworld @syedahmed1010 @iknoweverything @hashzone91 @bernard4ve @afruza @fareed974 @leidy3 @xcountytravelers

Thanks All of You!!!!

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Great post - I sometimes have to meet with people I wouldn't really chose to hang with. Somewhat because they don't get me, but mainly they have decided I'm not good enough for them.

I constantly reset my preconceptions and tell myself it's their problem, and each time they apply a manipulation, I tell myself to feel sorry for them, call them out if needed.

The most important thing is to love your fellow humans, realize no one is perfect..It's impossible to be angry at some one, if you have nothing but good intent and love in your heart/good feeling to all those around you.

You should open yourself up in order to get on a more personal and profound level.

Ciertamente para ser entendido y comprendido por otro es menester que podamos ser abierto, brindar confianza y tener la disposiciòn de interrelacionarnos con nuestros semejante. Sòlo de esta manera podemos soltar aquellas ideas, pensamientos y preocupaciones que nos aquejan y asì sentir un alivio espiritual porque has exteriorizado algo que tenìa represado. Por supuesto como dije antes hay que dar y recibir confianza, porque no a todo el mundo se le puede fiar nuestros problemas, preocupaciones, alegrìas ya que muchos de ellos o no les interesa o simplemente no se solidarizan con el projimo.

An excellent review @chbartist and the biggest mistake is that we decide to achieve something alone no matter what. You are right, need to change it in yourself and make all possible contacts at any level, try to find a common language with everyone and then our goal will be much closer to us!

Communication in society is a science. If you want to feel full of vitality, emotionally stable and to gain respect, you must first know yourself. Self-knowledge will help build relationships with others on the basis of empathy, trust, love and respect, happiness and common goals.

Nice topic and I feel this is connected to everyone and no matter which fields person belongs to. I share my example here. I interact with everyone at my workplace and there are many people who are not in my department but i do interact with them when I see them. This makes them feel comfortable and even I am familiar with them. Wherever I get any work in which they can help, they do it immediately and don't delay at all. There are some people in my team who don't talk Unless ins required and they face issues due to this habit of theirs. To get their work done they have to follow with depts many time and that too with proper official process which in my case is not required because they are my friend and I just ask them in a friendly way for their help.
They help immediately whenever i need. This is good practice and I believe we all must maintain a relationship with people around us. It always helps.. thanks @chbartist for nice post.

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Oh yes @chbartist, a very correct motivation, and I completely agree with you that can not withdraw into yourself and keep away from people. Sociability is a very important thing in any field, especially if it’s necessary to do something important and necessary!

Sometimes we are afraid to confide to others because we have the prejudice of being judged by them. There are three foundations of success which are the following: capacity, character and connection. Although you have the ability and the right attitude to win; you cannot move forward without connection. Connection is the ability to mingle and communicate with others.

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Saludos @chbartist! la comunicación es importante en un mundo donde la informacion es un producto de mucho valor.

El comunicarse de manera efectiva requiere que conozcamos a nuestro interlocutor, luego configuremos el mensaje al tipo de interlocutor, y por ultimo mantener una comunicación fluida que pueda enriquecerse con la participación de las partes involucradas

Para poder lograr lo anterior se debe generar niveles de conocimiento, de aptitudes y actitudes que solo se consiguen con los estudios y la practica

Un ejemplo de comunicación enriquecedora es la que notamos en Steemit, donde el emisor debe pensar un tema, desarrollarlo, exponerlo, y luego recibe de manera de retro-alimentación el aporte del receptor, que luego se convierte en emisor, generando un nuevo ciclo que mantiene viva la conversación, teniendo como resultado una construcción de conocimientos.

Being open up and speaking is really important.
I agree from your point of view.
Keep up with amazing and inspiring content.

Opening up to opinions of ourselves and our work helps with providing valuable perspectives to consider in our decisions and opinions. By shutting others away, we will not always be able to adapt to changes that can impact of efforts.

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Great one again came from you bro @chbartist. Yeah i agree idea and always doing hard work is key of success...

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Great article @chbartist, however as in introverted person, it can be quite difficult to open up, especially to human beings you've just met. It can take me years to open up to people, some never and I have thought numerous times if this personality trait keeps you away from successful opportunities in life...

Sir thanks for sharing valuable thought mostly person actually parts playing in our happiness and successful life.
Better Understanding play a good rial part of our successful life. If you understand some one what they are saying what they mean.

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If we're hiding something, we can't really open up.
We have to reveal what we have and tell the truth even if it hurts because truth really hurts.
But the peace after pain is joy.

Thanks for the insightful article. Personally, I find it hard to open up to other people, especially strangers...
I'll try to improve this aspect of myself.

Looks like an extreme soyboy in familiar surroundings.

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Very good sharing friend .
We are a part of community our first fillings and introduction increase our happiness.

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excellent article my friend, very motivating and punctual, I invite you to go through my profile that has quite different ideas and you might be interested

Dear author, I really appreciate you for sharing this piece with us. It's in fact, the reality because when we don't open up, nobody can predict what we are passing through. XOXO

Succes is about mindset, your control over emotions and the way you handle it, making others to understand is first you should understand , how people are working on it, how people will understand, presenting feelings in words is important.
Thanks for sharing deep insights on success

I just wanna say thank you, dear author, for bringing this up. Such an eye-opener for all of us. That is the reason why we're here and given the freedom to speak out. For not all people are open-minded, I just hope that this platform will serve as a bridge in connecting us with positivity and generosity. I personally appreciate the message that you're trying to convey. I strongly believe that the purpose of your existence is to inspire us and touch our lives with your simple yet powerful and life-changing words. Indeed, it's an act of unselfishness and dedication. Kudos to you!

Yes ! Tollally Ally with @chbartist that tenacity , industry, focus etc are never the ALL to success, but more of Interpersonal Relationship.

Indeed, the latter constitute more than a half of the requirements for all round success in every human endeavour!!

Please could @chbartist add me up to the list?? I shall so much appreciate it sir!!

I'm including in Next Post! Regards!

Indeed very incredible, most of us really do think we can achieve all the things we need or want by not associating with each other. We need to come together to make the light we expect to shine work. We would feel afraid some time but we should put up with good faith and know u can't get to your destination all alone. Great one dear.

Saludos estimado @chbartist, quiero en este comentario expresar, mi más sincera admiracion a su trabajo, de verdad estoy fascinado con los profundos y poderosos mensajes que deja cada una de sus publicaciones, la verdad no los he leido todos, por el factor tiempo, pero, desde que empese en Steemit he apartado un mometo al conactarme para leer alguna de esas publicaciones, y las que he ledio, no he dudado en "Reesteemear". desde este rincon, un enorme ¡GRACIAS POR COMPARTIR! Te invito a seguirme si gustas, ya yo soy tu seguidor.

i'm trying to open up about what I talk about and its really really hard, every day is a struggle. Not much gets done. But so much Has to get done. Hey guys if you were trying to express something reaaally massive and important to the most amount of people possible. How would you go about it?

I use freewrite by @mariannewest here to get my thoughts moving out. She gives a daily prompt and you write for only 5 minutes and do a post with that. There is a very nice community over there and I am proud to be a part of it. I think starting small like this has helped me and sometimes I am quite amazed by what comes out. Most people there write fiction. but my work in freewrite is almost always non-fiction.

I think the massive stuff will come if you start small first. If you are trying to write on steem - it is best to go where the people are. Writing my own posts on my own topics seems to get no attention.

Best of luck.

I get the impression from some people that they kind of expect us to read their minds or intentions. It's really annoying and disappointing. Happy Friday.

Actually you are right.
👻👽👻

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I believe that when the other people don't understand us, even if seems lika stupids, they're like mirrors of our own hide feelings.

They're here to show us some aspect about ourselves that we can't see without their help.

We must to say thanks to all the stupids you find! ;)

👍👏

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Congratulations @chbartist! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td><span><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@chbartist/posts.png?201902280621" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@chbartist/posts.png?201902280621 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@chbartist/posts.png?201902280621 2x" /><td>You published more than 350 posts. Your next target is to reach 400 posts. <p dir="auto"><sub><em><a href="https://steemitboard.com/@chbartist" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">Click here to view your Board<br /> <sub><em>If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word <code>STOP <p dir="auto">To support your work, I also upvoted your post! <p dir="auto"><strong><span>Do not miss the last post from <a href="/@steemitboard">@steemitboard: <table><tr><td><a href="https://steemit.com/carnival/@steemitboard/carnival-2019" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/rltzHT.png" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/rltzHT.png 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/https://steemitimages.com/64x128/http://i.cubeupload.com/rltzHT.png 2x" /><td><a href="https://steemit.com/carnival/@steemitboard/carnival-2019" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">Carnival Challenge - Collect badge and win 5 STEEM <h6><a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness and get one more award and increased upvotes!

I believe that I always show my feelings, in that I am very crystalline ... But there are people who sometimes prefer to keep quiet and do not say anything about what they feel. That's why misunderstandings arise ... So healthy is saying what you feel to really know what is happening.

For example, I sent a message to a friend, asking if he is angry with me but he prefers not to answer. If he answered, I would really know what displeased him.


Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade in the following category:Congratulations @chbartist!

  • Pending payout - Ranked 4 with $ 149,28

i will like to join this project, but there is very little free time at present to do so, and there is not enough financial incentive to actively participate daily as there is work to be done as hunger games to be delayed :D

Thank you for your insightful article. Nuff blessings!!

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I read your article well and it helped a lot

Hi, we are such complex beings with an unlikely potential. Unfortunately, all too often we are guided by our ego. If people would listen more to their heart, our world would be a better place. I think it's nice that more and more people are awakening and seeing things with other eyes.

Una cosa es clara, mientras más transparentes sean nuestras ideas y pretensiones, más frecuentemente seremos aceptados parte de los demás.