Pigs: You're not welcome

How many different personality types do you think there are? The answer to that question isn’t as simple as one might think with numbers ranging from 4-16 as far as I can tell. No matter how many there are though a workplace, if it contains enough people, is likely to have each represented in some way.

Workplaces are strange gatherings don’t you think? I mean they force a group of people who, if not for the job, may never come into contact with each other and who may either get along famously or hate each other vehemently; But together they all are confined within the little microcosm that is the workplace.

My office is no different, and interspersed throughout the seventy or so staff I would guess that every type of personality is represented; We are also a very multicultural office which brings more flavour to the mix as well. It’s an interesting dynamic and whilst most tend to get along well there’s always those who don’t, but they either swallow their distaste for one another or avoid one another; Whatever works I guess. I’m fortunate that I have a lot of autonomy and flexibility plus my own office with a door I can close so if my attitude is not oriented correctly, or I’m sick of hearing the buzz of other people’s voices, I can simply shut the door and go along on my merry way. I also have the ability to leave the office at any stage so I can escape if needs be. There are things that I cannot escape though and it’s to one of those that my attention turned yesterday.

The office kitchen is an area that constantly annoys me. It is often left in a mess with dirty dishes and used tea bags in the sink and one of the most annoying things…Frothed hot milk left in a jug on the counter. This annoys the crap out of me!

We have a pretty nice coffee machine and whilst most of us simply drink espresso coffee’s some need frothed milk for their latté or cappuccino. A couple of people have an annoying habit of frothing more milk than they need and rather than tipping it out and washing the jug and steam wand, simply make their coffee then leave, with the jug of frothed milk left on the counter to get all crusty. I don’t get it…Do they think someone is going to come a long a few hours later and use that milk? Just like the tea bag thing I find it bloody disgusting, ignorant and disrespectful.

So, I decided to write an email and send it to the entire office. You can see it below.

To those who leave frothed milk dregs in the jug on the counter…It is unlikely anyone will utilise your cast-off milk left on the counter for an indeterminate time. It may be more prudent to work out how much milk you need for your single coffee, froth only that much, then clean the jug, and the steam wand on the machine, ready for the next person.

This is just a suggestion of course, the decision to perform this common courtesy, or not, is your own to make however it would be nice if we could all show some respect, don’t you think?

I think it’s pretty clear don’t you? I know, you’re probably thinking it won’t have any effect and you’re probably right, but it made me feel somewhat better at the time. I’m sure the assholes who do the frothy-milk-leaving don’t care about their colleagues at all and will continue to do what they do. But I got a momentary sense of satisfaction from it and maybe that’s all I needed.

We live in a very egotistical and narcissistic world, a selfish world, and in my mind this is just another form of it. The people doing the wrong thing are sending a message that they are above those tasks, that maybe their time is more important than others or that they simply don’t want to function as part of the team unit. Or maybe they are just slovenly pigs who live in shit at home and don’t wipe their asses or wash their hands after taking a shit and think their disgusting anti-social behaviour is well-received in the workplace. Yeah, that's probably it.

I’d be interested to know what shenanigans go on at your office in this respect. Are there arguments about tea bags in the sink and empty lunch containers in the fridge? Does the cutlery get washed or not and do the same old people do the cleaning and tea towel washing? If you have any tips for rectifying this matter I would be very grateful as well. The ultimate solution is to remove the plates, cutlery, cups and glasses along with the company-supplied coffee machine, coffee, tea and milk…But that’s also a punishment on the ones who are doing the right thing. Oh, just so you know, I’m not responsible for the kitchen area but as a team member and manager I’d like to improve the office where possible.

What do you think might be a suitable motivator to bring these wayward piggy-assholes into order ? Suggest away because I reckon I'll try anything. The more painful and gruesome the better. I'm all for it!…I don’t care how outrageous your responses are maybe, just maybe, they'll get implemented. Well, maybe not painful and gruesome ones, but certainly anything else!

Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - @galenkp

P.s. If anyone wants to hit me up on Discord: @galenkp#9209

Im srce