Words of Advice (From a Complete Failure)

in #life8 years ago (edited)


<p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dc1eba01c.jpg" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dc1eba01c.jpg 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dc1eba01c.jpg 2x" /> <h1><br /> <h1><strong> If there is anything that I feel qualified to write about, it would be failing (or just sucking at life in general).  <p dir="auto"><strong> The good thing about failing? You get a chance to internalize the most valuable lessons in life. The bad thing? Well you fail, <em>duh. Bear with me as I curate a short list of things that I've failed miserably at. Let's see, where to start...  <p dir="auto"> So, I dropped out of high school, dropped out of community college, furiously quit multiple jobs, got <a href="https://steemit.com/psychology/@flandude/lessons-learned-from-getting-kicked-out-of-the-u-s-military" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">kicked out of the military. I have shitty tattoos on my hands, I've unsuccessfully tried to get my life up and going <em>several times, I've felt the agonizing emotional pain of <a href="https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@flandude/quitting-alcohol-caffeine-nicotine-and-marijuana-at-the-same-time" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">alcohol addiction, I have loose ties with my family, and to top it all off, I'm currently working at a pizza restaurant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I just described the epiphanized example of a "model citizen"? No? Maybe not...  <p dir="auto"> I can at least say that I'm giving life a genuine effort. It's just that when I realize something isn't working out, I decide to piss it off, regardless of the consequences. The thing is, nothing I've stumbled across has provided me with a sense of "this is what I should be doing with my life". My main issue is that I've always felt deeply disenfranchised with the structure of society. (I think we all know that the current paradigm has created nothing short of a trough of shit for the poor to sift through, and a paradise playground for the rich to indulge in (thanks, <em>Federal Reserve)).  <p dir="auto">The whole "go to college, acquire debt, get a degree, get married, have kids, save for old age" thing envelopes me with the most repelling feelings of angst and disgust (where is the part where you live??).  <p dir="auto"><em> Anyways, for those of you who don't have the time to become a complete fuck up... I would like to provide some insight into the most important lessons (that I have come across) for overcoming life changing obstacles and depressive cycles of thought. I'm going to do my best to not generically regurgitate things like "be happy" or "hug someone". Those things are great and all...<em> But I'm gonna dig deep here and try to provide insight from some real. hard. lessons. Should I make a list? People like lists right?  <p dir="auto"><em>Let's make a list... <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dc523f78b.jpg" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dc523f78b.jpg 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dc523f78b.jpg 2x" /> <h1>#1. Let It Be. <p dir="auto"> The most difficult obstacle to overcome in this life is the power of your own mind. Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It all depends on how much you understand it. Your thoughts literally create your reality. If you aren't aware of the affect that your mind has on you, then your mind will rule you. With your mind you can make the best out of a horrible situation, or turn the best situation into a horrible one. The choice is ultimately up to <em>you.  <p dir="auto">If you sit in complete silence, and quietly observe your breathe until your thoughts subside... You will eventually notice a feeling of complete emotional contentment... Regardless of your circumstances. The weird thing? All of your "problems" will still be there, but the conscious observation of the self can help you understand and overcome the deepest turmoil.   <p dir="auto">In the end, no matter what you decide to think about yourself... you are incorrect. Because the only thought to be truly had, is no thought at all. When something is bothering you, focus your attention on the infinite within you. Whatever thought comes your way, just accept it, understand it for what it is, and <em>let it be. <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dd30900df.jpg" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dd30900df.jpg 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dd30900df.jpg 2x" /> <h1>#2. Take Chances, Make Mistakes, Get Messy. <p dir="auto"> I have to thank Miss Frizzle<a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=take+chances+make+mistakes+get+messy&biw=1920&bih=946&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiyouykusbOAhUWzWMKHcJsDpMQ_AUIBigB&dpr=1#imgrc=bRjv5XMNdZOFYM%3A" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link"> for this bit of knowledge. I heard this while watching "The Magic School Bus" when I was a baby child... Strangely enough, it still resonates with me to this day. I think it sums up the proper attitude towards life pretty well. <em>Become unafraid of trying new things. The worst possible outcome is failure... and if you can become accepting of failure, there is really nothing to be afraid of. <p dir="auto">Diving head first into situations in which I have little or no understanding of, has created a whirlwind of fantastical ups and downs for me. The lessons that I have learned from those situations have turned into truly invaluable tools... So, with every situation, good or bad, there will always be a way to extract value. <p dir="auto">Never be afraid to try again. <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dfc41851d.jpg" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dfc41851d.jpg 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3dfc41851d.jpg 2x" /> <h1>#3. Strive For Honesty. <p dir="auto">This is important. This has probably been the hardest lesson for me. I've found myself time after time, neck deep in a web of my own self medicating lies... Possibly because deep down inside lies this realization that life is just a fabricated illusion, and everybody seems to just be scurrying about, pretending to know what is going on. When, in reality, nobody really knows anything. That's a difficult realization to just stuff back into the bag... Sometimes it can become more comfortable to just pretend that that's not true.  <p dir="auto">The only absolute knowledge is in the recognition that knowledge isn't absolute. This recognition could also be considered as <em>the truth. The truth can be the most difficult thing to accept. But I think it is the most important thing to strive for. In order to align yourself with the truth, you have to strive for honesty...  <p dir="auto">True salvation lies within yourself. Life is suffering. Death is imminent. If you can realize and accept these realities, you will find yourself more comfortable when life slaps you with the turd stick. Speaking of turds... <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3e66ab8142.png" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3e66ab8142.png 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/3e66ab8142.png 2x" /> <h1>#4. Accept the Turds <p dir="auto">So, let's imagine that we find ourselves in a hypothetical situation where we are covered up to our necks in a pile of stinky turds. If we happen to be in this very unfortunate situation... What are the main options that we have to deploy on an individual level?   <p dir="auto">We can... <p dir="auto"><strong>A. Complain about the turds - This is probably the most common attitude that would be embraced. "Ahhhhh gross I'm covered in turds! This sucks, ahhh, I stink! EWWW"... Complaining about something really doesn't do anything, unless of course you are planning on acting on the situation that brought about the complaint. Which brings about the next option.. <p dir="auto"><strong>B. Escape the turds - This seems more constructive. If we are covered in dung, should we complain? or should we take a step in a direction that would remove us from the situation? Any baby steps towards escaping the turd sandwich seem acceptable. The important thing is to start moving. <p dir="auto"><strong>C. Accept the turds - This is the most difficult, but definitely the most effective method for dealing with a situation. "These turds aren't that bad! Look there is even some corn left in this one!" <em>Gross, sorry for that... But you get my point.  <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"> Now this is obviously an analogy, but I think you can take this shitty situation (no pun intended) and apply it to pretty much any situation in life. This doesn't mean you should allow your life to be horrible and never do anything about it. Instead, just recognize the importance of accepting your situation and constructively begin to move yourself in a direction that you think will make you happier. Accept the turds. Escape the turds. But <em>never complain about the turds.  <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/4172e6684a.jpg" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/4172e6684a.jpg 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/4172e6684a.jpg 2x" /> <h1>#5. Treat the planet and the creatures within it like an extension of yourself...<em> because they are. <p dir="auto"> We are all <em>literally just an expression of the same essential matter. Wouldn't it seem important to start acting like it? In a culture which cultivates and rewards the most negative aspects of humanity... It's critical to take charge and create an atmosphere within ourselves that doesn't subscribe to these ideals. It seems important to cultivate kindness, compassion, respect, and generosity... and to keep these traits in mind when interacting with friends and community.  <p dir="auto">Lets face it, when your life starts to fall apart, the most helpful tool in overcoming it can be your fellow comrades (even if that comrade is a big ole bear). <p dir="auto">Warmly embrace those who cross your path. <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/4965ae1fc4.jpg" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/4965ae1fc4.jpg 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/http://i.imgsafe.org/4965ae1fc4.jpg 2x" /> <h1> #6. Intention is Everything. <p dir="auto"><strong>Pay attention to your intentions. If you align your intentions with the things that you truly believe, your life will become an extension of your innermost values. Then, it just becomes a matter of properly molding your own values... If you let your life happen on accident, your life will become an accident.  <p dir="auto">If the attention is lost, the intention dissolves. Even if the outcome of the situation turns out to be unfortunate, if you have your intentions in the right place, all is forgiven... <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><code>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <h3>Failure can be the most important teacher <em>if you allow it to be. It has been for me at least. I have made a fool out of myself countless times... but I can say that I've learned some valuable lessons that can't be taught in a classroom.  <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><code><em> “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”   <br />  ―    <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14033.Winston_S_Churchill" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link"><code><em>Winston S. Churchill<code><em>  <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br /> <p dir="auto"><br />
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Tag Spam = using irrelevant popular tags.

Please don't misuse #introduceyourself

k

Revenge flagging because I left you a comment? Here's the thing, I am trying to help you. Others will flag you for the misuse of tags. If you want to be a jerk you will soon find you have no reputation.

A simple, "Sorry" and fixing the mistake goes along way. Revenge flagging shows you don't really want to be part of the community.

Edit: I also find it ironic that you authored a post about everyone making mistakes .

In a sense I introduced myself. I gave a vague outline of who I am and some things that I've done. Just because this post is not an entire description of my life doesn't mean that I didn't at least (in part) introduce myself. Enough to the point where I felt the tag "introduce yourself" was appropriate...

I don't think that it is entirely necessary to go about and nitpick peoples articles and down-vote them because they don't fit your description of what should be tagged. If I were to have tagged "introduce yourself" and then talked about aliens the whole time I could see your point.

I didn't flag you. I left you a comment. I upvoted your original introduction here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@flandude/quitting-alcohol-caffeine-nicotine-and-marijuana-at-the-same-time

Many in the community consider the reuse of #introduceyourself as tag spam and will flag. I spend a lot of time flagging abuse and trying to help users before they get flagged.

Take my advice or don't.

Noted. I'm sure this is the reason that Reddit has such strict rules for their subreddits... Because everybody has a different idea of what is supposed to go where...

This is certainly a flaw in the system that should be addressed. Maybe people should only be allowed to use the "introduce yourself" tag once, if this is the "official" rule. But then again who are the "officials" here? lol.

It is certainly the wild west of blockchain social media, and just like in the wild west, everybody has taken upon themselves to become the authoritative figure in the overall molding of it. Which, I think, kind of smothers the air with an atmosphere of confusion.

this is not an intro

Take heart in the knowledge that you aren't a complete failure...
As I can assure you I have you beat on most of those counts, apart from being kicked out of the military.
I never even bothered to sign up ;)

Unfortunately we're all just human

Good post. Everyone makes mistakes, mistakes can be the best teacher. All you have to do after a mistake is just get back on your feet and carry on.