I LIVE: A Tale of Spiraling Depression with a Happy Ending

Hello Steem Peeps!

This is Echo Cadence here, and I hope that everyone is still alive and doing awesome as the long winter approaches. ^~^

I need to apologize to all of you amazing people who are following me for my long and inexcusable absence.

It's a long, trying story about corporate micro-managing, bush kitty, stress induced depression, NEW JOB, and drama llamas!

I know, I know, that's a lot of vague topics that doesn't exactly provide the delicious details to paint a correct image of why I fell off the map for a bit. I don't want to over burden my beloved readers with too much information, so I'm gonna start with the Stress Induced Depression topic for this post and then go into the rest later.

Shall we embark?

Firstly, let me state that I am super, duper, ridiculously proud of Mr. Lover Boy for graduating college and doing supremely well on his senior project; however, I was really worried about his lack of job hunting whilst he was still in school. I, who graduated college a year and a half prior to Lover Boy, understood all too well how difficult it was to get a job immediately out of college. Hell, I had started to apply to jobs 2 semesters before I graduated and I didn't hear back from anyone until 4 months AFTER I had walked the stage.

I didn't want the love of my existence to struggle the way I had struggled and made sure to annoy him every time we spoke via text, phone, skype, ect. to get to applying, but he claimed that he was too busy working on his senior project to worry about applying for jobs and would get a start on that AFTER he turned in the project. heavy sigh

Well, he kept to his word. He did fantastic on the project, applied for le jobs, graduated from college, and then continued on the never ending quest of applying for jobs.

I don't want to say it broke my heart, but it hurt me to see this wonderful person struggle and to see the all to familiar despair enter into his eyes as he received rejection letter after rejection letter, sometimes only moments after he submitted his resume.

Months of this went by, and as July came rolling to an end, Lover Boy finally received an call from some awesome company in Arizona. They told him that they found his resume on LinkedIn and were super impressed by his super awesome special senior project, and wanted him to apply to a certain position. Lover boy did, and then they called him back a week later scheduling an interview in Arizona about a week or so in the future.

Now, let me explain as to why I was so stressed out. Until August 14th, 2017, I had shared an apartment with my best friend (who is not Lover Boy) and our lease was coming to an end. I had applied for an apartment close by back in May and was all set to move to my lovely new abode in August.

Lover Boy and I had both agreed awhile back that we're both ready to move in together and I had my heart completely set on this. It didn't matter to me that he didn't have job right away; I knew that Lover Boy wasn't a slacker nor a free-loader and would work ceaselessly to find employment...

I was and am so proud of my Lover Boy of being contacted by such an amazing company and would never say nor do anything to hold him back from such a great opportunity... but I didn't want to be without him. We've continued a long distance relationship for over a year and I very much look forward to us starting the next chapter of our forever together.

At first, I had figured that I could simply quit my job (which I thought was amazing at the time) and up and move to Arizona with Lover Boy... but I had worked really hard to get to the position that I was in. I questioned if it was fair to me to uproot myself from the life I built in this grand city of S.A. to start anew in a desert, and then I smacked myself with the fact that it wouldn't be fair to make Lover Boy give up on such a badass job.

After I made myself come to that realization, I hurriedly called the apartment complex which I had applied at to see if I can back out from signing my lease a day or so before moving into the new apartment...Lover's Boy's interview was literally 3 days before my move in date and I was in full panic. Well, of course they said I could- YAY!!!

But they said I'd be charged $399 to cover the deposit and app fees if I didn't sign my lease on my move in day-SCREAM!!!

I'm a college graduate guys; I have loans draining my soul and I have to eat every now and again. That's a lot of money to go down the toilet!

Anywho, I had spiraled into such a bad depression that I started to cry if anyone asked me if I was okay and start to laugh manically if they asked if there was anything they could do to help. I thought I was screwed tighter than a pickle jar, my Lover Boy was off in Arizona being awesome, I was trying to figure out what to do, trying to figure out if I was actually gonna be living in the land of the cacti and if I should be selfish and choose my career goals over his or choose to follow him and abandon my life in S.A.

It doesn't sound really bad or dark, but my heart and mind was in a bad place, and although I did my absolute best to keep all of my internal turmoil away from the most KAWAII BOY IN THE WORLD, he found out how stressed I was... and he felt terrible about it... which was NOT what I had wanted at all.

The night before move-in day, Lover Boy had called me from Arizona... his interview was LITERALLY THE SAME DAY AS MOVE-IN DAY, and he called to tell me that he knew I was really stressing out over this and told me that I had absolutely nothing to worry about. He said that I didn't have to move to Arizona because he even if he was offered this position that he wouldn't take it, because he wanted to do what made me happy.

I'm ashamed to say that my heart soared when he said that and it crashed almost as soon as it had taken off. How could I be so damn selfish, right? I told him that if they offer him this UNBELIEVABLE job that he better take it; how often do freshly graduated college kids come across such an amazing opportunity?

Well, he had said that I am the amazing opportunity and why would he jeopardize that?

Yeah, that was my exact reaction.

I know, I know, I'm dragging this out and stuff, so I'll wrap up this up as prettily as I can. :)

I signed my lease, thinking that if he got the job in Arizona that I'd be completely okay with breaking my lease. (DO NOT EVER DO THIS!!! THAT'S BAD!) I moved into my sweet, cozy apartment, Lover Boy returned home from Arizona and signed the lease as well and happily moved in within me....

And he got a call back, and guess what? HE GOT THE JOB!!! And it requires a certain security clearance, which takes about 6 - 8 months to process, and then after his clearance has been confirmed he has 2 months to move to his new location... so that's basically a whole year away!!!

I'm definitely not stressed out about the move to Arizona anymore and very much look forward to starting a brand new adventure with Mr. Lover Boy.

In anycase, there's a hella ton more to this story, but I'll add in those details for you wonderful readers later.

Thank you so much for reading this rambling fun mess of a post. You're wonderful and I so appreciate you reading an excerpt of my life.

Have you been up to something fun and interesting? Tell me in the comments!

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