How Do You Attract the Right People?

I know this is subjective because everyone has their own set of standards when it comes to the right people. Everyone is different. Perhaps, you have a person in your life you look up to, like a good friend, your parents or someone who inspired you. I met some good people in the past. And if I meet new ones, and they measure up to them more or less, then I can say they are really the right ones for me. I'm not just talking about a man or a partner, I'm talking about people in general, like potential friends. Those who can bring out the best in me.

I am not really sure if it's me or the time has changed. When I was traveling, it was easier to meet good people. And I know that selfless people really exist. They are quite a few and they are the rarest. These days, there are now more jerks coming to town than ever. The last thing I want to do is deal with them and give them the power over me. Why do I even bother? Why take the chance when I already know it will be a waste of my time. Sometimes, I can't help but give them a benefit of the doubt. I know I should lower my expectations. There's risk to putting myself out there but there's no other way. This is why I'm quite judgmental now. It is kind of my own way to weed out the wrong fits. It might be worth it when I hit the jackpot.

I wrote about this guy I was supposed to help out with the Ferry tickets then it turned out that he had a hidden agenda. At some point, he told me that I am being "negative". Pretty much like that guy on Steemit who told me that "I'm complaining". I have to ask some good friends if I am really becoming a toxic person now just for self-awareness. I think I'm just being realistic most of the time. I'm not a man-hating princess as most of my friends are guys. I even run to them if I get problems with their own species. They pretty much give me that "male perspective." I know tt is kind of sad that I don't have close female friends now. I used to have but we have outgrown each other.

Since I got banned on Tinder, I am now promoting my website on couchsurfing. I just think it's more applicable since my business is about travel. After 9 years, I now have 71 positive references and 1 negative (some jerk host). I think my personal profile gives me more credibility in business, like trip advisor reviews, people can book their tours with me as they read about what others say about me. But I've made it clear that I will most likely entertain those I can do business with, it should be an exchange. It's not only about using and abusing the locals. Sometimes, it's like making people feel that you are entitled to be treated nice, and if they are not, you cry like a baby. However, as I see it, the community is becoming like Tinder now. It used to be dominated by good people and I've met really good friends from all over the world there. Now some guys are using it for random hookup too. I mean, we are adults now. If you really like a person, it's fine, but it takes time. I don't really believe that you like someone straight away like come on, most of the time it's just to score, talking about convenience.

Then yesterday, another random jerk added me as a friend and sent me a long message. He has zero references and probably didn't read my profile. He was preaching about his lifestyle probably thinking that I would be impressed. He said that he is a fan of philosophy and that he travels by foot and all. Good for him, the only thing is that his lifestyle does not align with my beliefs anymore. I am no longer a fan of this whole long-term travel as I am seeing its destructive effects now especially where I am. He claims he does not have a bigger impact than those snotty consumeristic elitists. Sure, those tourists are probably more wasteful in their own countries. In my dumb opinion, most of them have a pretty much stable lifestyle that they don't really need to travel long-term or stay somewhere else. It turns out that most of these long-term travelers are pretty much unhappy so they go on long trips to find their happiness and blah. Fine, as long as you don't bother me. To each his own. I think these people are just becoming more entitled than ever and insisting their beliefs on other people. For example, they are doing yoga and shit in Bali, eating grass and living an alternative lifestyle. Would you believe that most of the locals there dislike them so much now? These people are unaware of how being annoying they are in other countries, and somebody has to tell them. So, if you can combine this jerk and all those who are doing this lifestyle, it's socially and environmentally destructive in the grand scheme of things. Basically, I see pretty much the same shit from all sides. Own up to your shit too, that's what I am saying. Instead of regularly pointing out the flaws of the natives or other people as if you are holier.

So, I've pretty much wasted my time by replying to this guy. I made a mistake of entertaining yet another jerk. He replied a long message defending his beliefs and all. In our perspective, he is just coming here to exploit the community and get things for free, talking about entitlement and privilege. I really wish that the losers in their own countries should stop traveling and those who are genuinely nice should stop hiding. Some people really want to meet you here. Then the guy replied a long message and blocked me to silence me, classic! Now I look back and began to appreciate those people I met who are not of this type. They are hard to come by these days. I miss those I have a long conversation with about life in general. I miss those who can bring out the best in me. I miss the right people in my life.

I read a comment on some blog about a woman ranting about jerks. Then some random troll went out of his way to hurt her, like insinuating that she's broken and there's something wrong with her. Seriously? If this is the case, maybe I am really broken, given all my rants about people in the past. In this day and age when the world is trying to make you something else, who cares now? I'm not here to explain myself or be pleasing to everyone. Because, if you are being You, some people are inevitably going to be repelled. Sure, I'm a broken alpha. I never had pampered domesticity. I don't need someone holding the door for me and I can buy my own beer. And I have a strong view of the world, I'm a pragmatic old lady. And I don't like most people now, but, if I like you, chances are, you are special to me. And I am being special to you.