Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 6th February 2018

in #jokes7 years ago

Joke 1

Leadership and learning

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://bit.ly/2DtvZ40


Joke 2

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.


Joke 3

Judge to defendant: "You are accused of dumping trash in a forbidden area. Didn't you see the sign posted there?"

Defendant: "Yes sir, I sure did. It says in big letters 'FINE FOR DUMPING'."


Joke 4

Q: What's the difference between dark and hard?
A: It stays dark all night.


Joke 5

A bloke goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor recommends, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medication the man stammers, "Hell, Doc, what's my problem?"

The doctor says, "You're dehydrated; not drinking enough water!"


Joke 6

Little Johnny lived in the country.

They had to use an outhouse, and Little Johnny hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and Little Johnny determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so Little Johnny decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek.

He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the wood shed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, Little Johnny asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"

Little Johnny answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."


Joke 7

One day, the rabbi asked the priest if he could sit in on a confession session since he had always been curious about what went on. The priest agreed and that afternoon of them the two of them were sitting in a confession booth.

A woman came in and said, "I have sinned. I have committed adultery three times this past week."

The priest said, "Put twenty dollars in the poor box and your sins will be forgiven."

Just then the priest's secretary came and asked the priest if he could take a long distance phone call.

The priest said to the rabbi, "You carry on. You know how it goes."

The next woman said, "Father I have sinned. I have committed adultery twice this past week."

The rabbi said, "Go and commit adultery once more. We have a special on this week -- three for twenty dollars."


Joke 8

Q: How are playing cards like wolves?
A: Because they come in packs


Freedom

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://bit.ly/2DpSJBX


Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/02/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-6-feb.html


Check the latest Steemit Faucet Post: http://csyd.es/Faucet


Sort:  

Thamx for sharing a few clean jokes. My oldest is at that age where he is transitioning from fart jokes to dick jokes. I have decided to try and go "G rated" in hopes of teaching him he can be funny without the dick jokes.....

Joke 5 is a sad truth about what some doctors can do for their profit

I did not know that a user with your reputation needs to copy my comment. :-(

Joke 5 is a sad truth about what some doctors can do for their profit

Very true and very sad. Not a joke :(

Very funny, I can't stop laugh,
ESpecially this one......

Judge to defendant: "You are accused of dumping trash in a forbidden area. Didn't you see the sign posted there?"
Defendant: "Yes sir, I sure did. It says in big letters 'FINE FOR DUMPING'."

Thank you !

i think this was the defendant...

27544572_1663226003712627_4414859739303146516_n.jpg

Best sign award!

The jokes were very funny. XD

Ha ha ha ha for 3, 4 and 7. Good ones. I like jokes abut rabbis.

Joke 2 i didn't see anything...lol

Thank you, good jokes again.

JFK has some really good quotes.


Rydhi
xox

jajaja!!! estan muy buenos! el 4 se entiende bien! saludos!!

LOL, good jokes

very funny :)

Gracias por los chistes el número uno es muy bueno!

Hehe,funny jokes!

Thank you for the jokes, haha

Go with Joke No-3 ....i agree with defendant ...lol

#2
The kids were nothing to look at because thet are also invisible

joke #3.lol

2nd one is so simple and funny.

I tried to translate it, I hope you like it:

The forest animals drink a lot of alcohol every day. All forest animals are in a bad condition. So the forest animals gather and decide that they don't want to drink any more.
The next day everyone is very hungover. The fox and the squirrel roam through the forest when they suddenly hit the rabbit completely drunk.
"Hey, rabbit, why are you drunk? We forest animals don't drink anymore, says the fox. If I catch you drunk tomorrow, I'll eat you. "
The next day the fox walks over the forest path as the rabbit staggers towards him. Completely drunk. The fox gets angry and yells at the rabbit.
"We forest animals don't drink anymore. This is your last warning."
The next day the fox and the squirrel go looking for the rabbit, but they can't find it. After some time they discover a stalk in the forest lake. They go and the fox grabs the stalk and there's the rabbit. Completely drunk.
The fox cooks with anger and screams: We forest animals... the rabbit interrupts him and says. We fishes don't give a shit about what you forest animals do.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

Great job with this :)

Awesome
Follow back
@fullness2018

Hahahaha very good jokes.

Good jokes

Thanks for the laughs.

7 is a good example of "its funny because its true."

Exactly what I was thinking.

More funny means a bit more of the best in steemit money.

xD!!

:) back at you.

nice informative post . go ahead.

you always post a couple good quotes or jokes that stick out to me

It stays dark all night.---- lmao...hahahaha

Joke 5 is a sad truth about what some doctors can do for their profit

:-(. Do you really need to copy my comment?

Ha ha ha ha for 3, 4 and 7. Good ones. I like jokes abut rabbis.

Joke 2 i didn't see anything...lol