Living with depressed people is not easy. Family members suffer as much or more when they see their relative or friend in this condition of sadness and hopelessness. The natural thing, in many cases, is to dedicate all our time and effort to attend and help the patient. However, this is counterproductive.
On this occasion I would like to share with you some impressions about living with a depressive. I was a patient and have been a family member of patients with depression, so I have been in both places. I hope what I write to you will be helpful.
What to do for ourselves?
When we are living with a depressed person, let's continue to lead our lives. We should not suffocate ourselves trying to care for a depressed patient. Let the doctor and antidepressant drug treatments take care of your loved one's medical needs. Don't try to take full responsibility for his or her safety. You should trust him or her, but always be vigilant.
Some things you can do are:
🔆 Eat well, get enough sleep and exercise.
🔆 Lead a normal life as best you can. Things have changed, but it should not be absolute modifications to your daily routine.
🔆 Do not readjust your life to fit his. He may notice it and you will only feel guiltier.
🔆 Take time to do the things you want to do. After all your emotional, physical and mental health is important too! And you need your inner strength and peace to provide support and care for your depressed family member.
🔆 Keep everything in balance as much as you can. A depressed person needs a stable environment in which to cope with the illness.
🔆 Don't pull away. Don't get too close either.
🔆 And for nothing in the world, abandon your life to make the other person's life better, no matter how much you think that's what you should do. Doing that can only lead you to feel irritated because your personal life is being ruined (yes, you may come to think that and it's not wrong).
You must take care of yourself, so you can take care of someone else.
A depressed patient demands care over an extended period of time. The very nature of the illness he/she suffers from causes symptoms of irritability, the dependence he/she feels makes him/her demanding and sometimes inconsiderate of others. It is common to hear expressions such as: "I can't stand this anymore", "I'm going crazy", "we don't go out anywhere, he never wants to go". And it is completely normal to think and feel that. Even so, you have to pay attention and look for support from others, as caregivers we must be in balance and count on other people, it is vital in this process.
You, as a family or friend caregiver,
If you do not do this, you will end up exhausted and most likely you will want to attack the patient, blaming him/her, and then feel worse and close a vicious circle.
I hope these recommendations will help you a lot. It is a pleasure to write for you.
References: "Depression Explained in a nutshell " Dr. Elías Silva Hernández.
Whit love, Sam.
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