To Build A Good Relationship With Others You Need To Build One With Yourself

Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

~ Bell Hooks

Our relationships today are mostly foggy, unclear, and undefined. That doesn't mean our relationships can't be better, but to improve them, we'll have to know how to be in a relationship with ourselves without seeing one with others as just a play.

Most people today view people as a means to an end. It's either they want to escape from themselves, or they want something else out of the other person.

What you want may be someone to validate all your sh't while the other person wants something else, might be a shoe from your new store.

This can be different for everyone.

However, the type of relationship we’ll be able to build with others will depend on the type of relationship we can build and sustain with ourselves.

image from pixabay
To sit alone in a room and be okay with it is hard for most people. It's not that they hate themselves or anything, but they can't stop thinking about all their life's situations for just a minute.

We find it hard to breathe easily and freely when alone. But when we are with someone else, we can scream our lungs out and forget about all our problems and breathing.

We like to talk, rant and complain to the next person to us about our troubles and sometimes or most times, this can become a habit that we have become accustomed to over time.

Over time, these habits become harder and harder to break for most people, and every minute they find themselves alone, they can't help but feel lonely.

They haven't built a relationship with themselves in solitary.

This is one of the teachings is zen meditation, which is making waves all around the world.

To be alone and not be lonely is one of the hardest parts of human life.

We all don't want to feel bored or left without having anything to do.

But the reality is that sometimes doing nothing and being bored and alone can be the best activity we can use to help influence our life situation.

Do you find yourself alone and lonely, or you can be alone but not lonely? Can you build a relationship with yourself in solitary, or do you prefer to build it with others without having one with your innate self?

Why do you think it's hard for people today to seek solitary, instead of seeing people and things as only a means to an end? Share your thoughts below.

Thanks for reading.