I was in at the office early (for a Monday morning), which meant that there weren't many people around and I could enjoy a cup of coffee in relative silence. It was a nice way to start the day, and as people filtered in, they sat down and we discussed the weekend gone. Most people were on hobby runs, taking their kids to ice hockey, football, skating, or dancing trainings and games. They didn't seem to have found it overly relaxing.
Relaxation is something I have thought a bit about over the years, as I am not very good at just doing nothing. For me to relax, it has to be more than just sitting around and most likely, I have to get the feeling that whatever I am doing, there is more purpose to it. Even travelling on a beach holiday (not my favorite thing to do), I can't just lay in the sand or by the pool, because it stresses me out that I am just "wasting" time. I am more relaxed when I get to see something new, do something new, experience something different.
But, since I don't travel alone, I have come to accept that for many people, doing nothing is their condition for relaxing, so I try to accept this. Rather than complaining about sitting around (as I would have done when younger), I bite my tongue and find something else to entertain my mind. The complaining doesn't help anyway, it just emphasizes the discomfort, and increases my annoyance.
Not relaxing.
Finding interesting things to do when having to be in boring situations, is a skill of sorts. For me, I generally fallback onto observing people, and looking to predict their behavior. I do this in "boring" meetings also, where I end up watching people's actions, as they themselves tune out, get distracted, or roll their eyes. It is pretty telling to see how engaged people are in a meeting, just by watching their faces.
It relaxes me.
I think part of the relaxation of observing people, comes through the removal of their layers, as well as my own. It is a good way to see humans being humans, being flawed and imperfect. And seeing it played out live, takes the pressure off me to appear a certain way, or live up to a certain standard. My standards are my own and we can never meet the expectations of others fully, but lowering that bar can go a long way to not only relaxing, but also returning our attention so that it can be spent on other things that have more value.
Being bored, is a waste of time.
Being bored is a good thing because it should indicate that we have free energy to spend on something of value. But, staying bored is useless. If we take the prompt to find something to do, but don't just look to fill up the space with anything, as long as we aren't bored, we can actually draw a lot of value from it. And, at least for me, doing something valuable, is relaxing, because it doesn't have the stress of procrastination, and it brings with it the sense that there will be future benefit of some kind.
I wonder what the parents did, while their kids practiced and played over the weekend. Were they watching intently, were they scrolling through their phones, catching up on work, talking with other parents, staring into space? Did they put their time to good use, or was it time of doing nothing?
Is doing nothing, more or less stressful?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
One of my wife and I's favorite things to do is watch people. We will often just sit in this location or that and watch them. She also likes to try and figure out what the relationships are among people in a large group. We actually skipped going on a really nice vacation this past year because we knew a week of sitting at the beach would just be too much for us. I've had those weekends before where you find yourself running more than relaxing. I'm starting to wonder if I need to accept that weekends aren't a time for relaxation anymore. Perhaps my evenings are my new weekends!
Evenings as the new weekends sounds great. I actually think this makes more sense, so that we find things of value to do daily, rather than living for a couple days off, that we end up spending rubbing errands anyway.
I think it's good in thought, but probably a lot harder to put into practice. Especially when we are so tired by the time we get home!
It is advisable to do nothing with physical activity. Yesterday I walked for several hours (15,000 steps) and did nothing, drank red wine and talked.
Do you drink the wine while walking?
Not on every walk :)
Socializing is something that also could help cope with one's boredom.
For sure. Quality socializing is rewarding on so many levels.
Yeah
I am also more relaxed when doing things which have been waiting for days/months, rather than just relaxing.
I think it might be because there is a payoff, and it gets a task or two out of the way, easing the mind. Procrastinating doesn't mean forgetting what is left to do.
There are many ways to this, most parents might be there cause they feel they should, some will derive joy in seeing their kids doing what they love, some do it as a form of encouragement for the kids. As for me I love to be active, sitting around without doing anything makes me question myself because I believe there is always something to do.
Lots of value in being a parent of a active kid, but I wonder if we actually realize how much ad take advantage of it.
If I have nothing to do, what am I doing with my life?
Wow
I think you are the first person I will see who loves to observe people and takes that as an act of relaxation. It is a lovely thing sha. It’s good to know that you have a way in which you usually relax
I don't think I am the only one but a lot of people don't seem to actually think about what genuinely relaxes them.
You've said it, once boredom sets in it's a sign that something better is on the way and it's right there in your imagination. We only move forward in search of something productive to do.
Interestingly, today I was reflecting on how many people around me live their lives trying to meet standards imposed by others. They don't take care of themselves, of growing organically and genuinely.
They don't do what they really want. How sad.
Happy start of the week, @tarazkp.
If we live up to the expectations of others, we are unlikely to meet the needs of ourselves. How much time is wasted trying to be what we are not, but not finding out what we are?
That's right. And time, once it's spent, never comes back.
As a student Monday is quite hectic for me. It's hard to go for studies after weekend
Hangover?
I love walking just to relax myself that's the only way I can feel relaxed than not doing anything at all.
I guess I am a bit similar. I don't like vacations because they cost money, and you do nothing most of the time. Maybe it's also because I like routines, and vacations basically take me out of my comfort zone, and expect me to relax while being uncomfortable. In your next vacation, try bringing a book, or listening to an audiobook/podcast. At least you are doing something else other than just lying there.
Sounds like the perfect time for more Splinterlands battles. On the beach or in the club, Splinterlands battles it the perfect fix for a quick five-minute thrill!