I was reading how the birth rate gap between foreign-background and native Finns is closing, with "the total fertility rate for women of foreign background was 1.39, while for women of Finnish background the figure was 1.23". However, it also mentioned how the proportion of adults without children is among the highest in Europe. There are many reasons to not have children, but I can't help feeling that the general decision of lifestyle considerations these days, is short-sighted and will likely backfire. Not only for society in general, but for individuals who made the decisions without thinking about the implications later in life - a life that is likely going to be longer than it was in the past.
Header Image
A robust body of research has shown that solitary confinement has profound negative psychological, physical, and neurological effects on those who experience it, often lasting well beyond one's time in solitary
Even though it is a choice, I suspect that in time that choice becomes a habit and the longer it continues, the harder the pattern is to break. Not only this, there is a cultural shift to "segregate" ourselves based on opinions about individual topics, which means we will find it increasingly difficult to find people to connect with, in what is also a reducing pool of people. It is a bit like choosing a football team from a group of 100, most of whom have no idea about football, and aren't athletic at all. The quality of the pool matters.
While the maintenance of current lifestyle is often a big point in not having children, I also think that the kind of lifestyle people have or think they want is going to change quite drastically as they age. It isn't just about having children or home ownership or anything like that, but it shifts, and if the earlier life doesn't allocate resources and learn the behaviours for that future need, then it becomes out of reach, an impossibility. And then the life they didn't want to compromise, becomes compromised anyway.
Culture changes quickly, but we evolve very slowly. And like it or not, we have evolved to be social creatures that benefit from social interaction and building communities. Many believe they can overcome their genetic programming and sometimes it is possible, but at least for any length of time, it is not probable. The probability is that regardless of what one believes, there is still going to be physiological programming that has a need that it wants to satisfy, even if the individual doesn't realise it, it becomes a gap in experience, a hole that might not be able to be filled, no matter the alternatives available or the distractions applied.
Alternatives for social interaction at the moment is scrolling through "social" feeds, which is also a distraction from the feelings of boredom and loneliness, amongst other things. Yet, people get the feel they are being social, but they are actually in solitary confinement. What many don't realise is that sitting at the screen might have the sights and sounds of reality, but is actually a process of sensory deprivation.
Here is a list of long-term damage caused by solitary confinement:
(Taken from a search)
Psychological Effects
- Anxiety & Depression: Extreme loneliness, hopelessness, panic attacks, and clinical depression.
- Psychosis: Hallucinations (visual/auditory), delusions, paranoia, and distorted thinking.
- Cognitive Impairments: Difficulty concentrating, memory problems, disorganized thoughts, and impaired problem-solving.
- PTSD: Symptoms similar to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, including flashbacks and hyperarousal.
- Emotional Numbness: Loss of feeling, interest, and basic social skills, leading to a sense of being "alien".
- Rage & Fear: Uncontrollable feelings of intense anger and fear.
Physical & Physiological Effects
- Sensory Issues: Hypersensitivity to light, sound, and touch.
- Sleep Disturbances: Insomnia and nightmares.
- Somatic Complaints: Dizziness, heart palpitations, and other physical symptoms.
- Brain Changes: Shrinkage in the hippocampus (memory) and increased amygdala activity (fear).
Behavioral & Long-Term Effects
- Self-Harm & Suicide: Significantly increased risk, with half of prison suicides occurring in solitary confinement.
- Increased Violence: Can lead to more aggression, not less, in some cases.
- Recidivism: Higher rates of death (suicide, homicide, overdose) in the first year after release.
- Difficulty Reintegrating: The damage often persists, making it hard to return to society.
A lot of these are on the increase in daily life from people who were not incarcerated and were not held in solitary confinement. From "normal" people just living their lives. Many even state that they are experiencing these symptoms, without ever putting it down to their solitary way of life. Normal is in quotation marks because I don't think it is normal behaviour at all, especially given our social advancements over the last few thousand years. We should be getting better and we were, but in the last few decades, our advancement has not only slowed, it has reversed and we are declining. The more individualistic and disconnected from communities and others we have become, the more we have declined as individuals.
The proverb, "it takes a village to raise a child" is very salient in this case, but not because of the child component, but the village. The reason it takes a village is that a whole range of skills are needed, but also a village is a social construct, one where people work together to help each other and complete tasks that require coordination and cooperation, because they are larger than an individual can complete themselves. The village gives individuals purpose, and part of that purpose is the continuance of themselves into the future, whether that be through having children, or building for children to come. I think without the idea of continuance, then life becomes pretty purposeless, and I believe many people are actually feeling that now.
Many talk about their need to be alone, but I don't think many realise how terrible it would be to be alone all the time. I think currently there is enough distraction, but if it wasn't there, would people still want to be in solitary? Maybe it will always be there though, where the technology will get better and better to the point that we feel that we are living in a rich world of opportunity, when we are in fact confined in our tiny apartment, unmoving. Of course, apartments won't be needed at that point, just pods and a jack point - like in the Matrix.
Forever confined.
As I see it, it is ironic that in the quest for more freedom has resulted in us being more confined, more controlled, more locked-in with less opportunity available. We have plenty of opportunity to distract ourselves through entertainment, but when it comes to meaningful activity and purpose, we are very poor indeed.
Having children might not be the answer, but I believe that we should be creating a world that is increasingly rich in opportunity for children. Instead, we seem to be going in the opposite direction, making lives worse in the quest for individual wealth and experience at the expense of children. We are even advancing the monetization of childhood, targeting them directly to trap them into a life where they will be increasingly solitary and confined, conditioned that it is the norm, whilst still feeling that piece missing, unable to identify just what it is, and having nothing in their experience to point a direction.
Loneliness is at epidemic proportions.
And it is only going to get worse.
But don't worry about it. Watch another TikTok video and take your mind off of it.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Be part of the Hive discussion.
- Comment on the topics of the article, and add your perspectives and experiences.
- Read and discuss with others who comment and build your personal network
- Engage well with me and others and put in effort
And you may be rewarded.
Hello there! Your local broken record chiming in!
The effects above are all also side effects of pharmaceuticals. Isolation threatens many of us as we age, screens or no screens, and the meds we are routinely prescribed, hormones especially, cause physiological, cognitive and emotional effects. Overdiagnosis of hypothyroidism, prescriptions for menopause, all cause heart ailments, cognitive challenges and other. It's almost as if the goal is to have more of us kill ourselves. Are suicide rates skyrocketing, including medically assisted? Increased screen time can't be helping, but there is another correlation - pharmaceuticals in all age groups - that is being completely overlooked here, and I believe it is more harmful that entertainment via screens.
You and me both ;)
Yes they are and I think we are caught in a loop that makes it so "complicated" that people think nothing can be done.
Yes. I think assisted suicide should still be considered suicide. It is very high now, with it being over 5% of all deaths in some countries. That is pretty insane, right?
I think they walk hand in hand. It is all part of the profit mechanism.
I remember we had some friends with kids and they were so over protective of the children that they soon became basically recluses. Of course Covid didn't help that much either but the belief they were protecting their kids from some random threat ended up leading to major psychological issues down the road.
That doesn't happen as much here, because there is less social fear of bad things happening. Kids walk to school alone (or with friends) from the age of six or seven regularly and are trusted for the most part to act responsibly. Though, they are also doing less chores now and the like too.
I think that the "protected" children do end up with far more issues than non-protection would have given them. Sure, bad things happen, but being unprepared for them as an adult means they are likely to happen and have devastating consequences.
Yeah, I totally agree with that. It's hard because you can't say it is never going to happen to your kid, but the odds aren't worth the damage it ends up inflicting.
Too often the intention to do good, isn't backed by the thought of what actually is required to do good.
Social interactions have a big role to play in our emotional well-being, something a lot of people don't realize. It appears screentime or social media interactions, so to put it, isn't a suitable substitute.
But the fact is that people are attached to social media interactions because it provides more emotional pleasure and joy than interacting with people in real life. Because of this widespread and obsessive engagement with the social media, we will find out soon enough that the quality of the mental health will decrease drastically on a general level, and will continue to get worse with each generation that comes. That means more suicides, more thefts, more gun violence, etc in the society, infusing chaos into the society.
But we are too busy chasing money to see this looming tragedy and correct it in time. How sad.
It definitely isn't. It is like drinking a can of orange flavoured soda to get vitamin-c.
Funny isn't it? Personally, I would rather interact with humans, than a screen. Much more fun in bed too.
I can find one positive of lower birth rate: slower world population growth. That is actually a good thing as our planet is becoming overpopulated and the more people the harder the strain on the resources. Controlling population through birth rates is a much better alternative to wars...
The global population might be too large, it might not - but I don't think the way we are going is going to be any better than war either. I reckon it actually might lead to more conflict.
Well, here in Africa, it’s a different ball game. We have (too) many kids here and even an individual gives birth to as much as ten. That’s not the problem. I think this has to do with lifestyle.
Maybe the Europeans practice the individualism lifestyle in the sense that they may be only able to cater to their responsibilities. Also, this has to do with decision. Some adults have decided not to have kids until a certain age and some never want to have kids. It’s all based on decisions.
But if the birth rate continues to decline, who are those who will be the adults of tomorrow? As a society, it needs adults to thrive. Then, maybe I should say in the next few a years, the community will be lacking adults which isn’t a good idea.
In my little knowledge, training a child can be difficult but still not a big deal. If your work takes much of your time, then, get a nanny. Also, postpartum depression is something a lot of women get scared of and that’s their sole reason for not having kids.
The kids are the future and the future will make good use of the when they are already adults.
I hope the birth rate gets better though
Even the young adults of today are not adults by behaviour.
They should be more worried about getting cancer or dying of heart issues due to obesity, shouldn't they?
What is interesting in the Western countries is that there is a massive pushback against immigration, but there aren't enough people to do the jobs that the locals don't want to do, like looking after the elderly.
The situation is such everywhere, I can see it in my village, where there is noone to talk with my aged uncle...he seems looking for some company from his family member but they were mkre busy watching reels and online videos..the result, when he does not get someone to talk, he vent out the frustration on their grand children. Slowly he is going into isolation too and to keep him accompany, his son gave him phone to listen to some spiritual stuffs...the fact is everyone is seeking solace in digital world. The human touch and caring is completelly missing...putting an end to the social life that used to be backbone of any orthodox family...
Much easier than actually spending time human to human. Spiritual awakening! ...
It’s interesting how we think we’re choosing freedom by avoiding responsibilities like family, yet many of us slowly end up trapped in a kind of emotional isolation we never planned for. I see it in my own daily habits too everything is convenient, but somehow less meaningful. Your point about the gap between how quickly culture changes and how slowly humans evolve really hits home. We’re built for connection, but the world keeps pushing us into private bubbles. It makes me wonder what kind of future we’re shaping without realising it.
I reckon most of what shapes the world wasn't originally intended to do so, it just happened that way. We focus on the big events in life, but the things that make the most impact, slide by largely unnoticed.
This post made me think about how much time I spend online thinking I’m “socialising,” when in reality it’s just scrolling through highlights of people I don’t even know. It’s crazy how we can be surrounded by noise and still feel alone. The comparison to sensory deprivation is spot on digital life tricks the senses but doesn’t feed the soul. Maybe the real challenge today is learning to build real communities again, not just digital echo chambers.
It makes you think, but will you change your behaviour on your thoughts?
I saw from various reports that the birth rate in Europe is very low, which is absolutely negligible compared to countries like ours. I have even seen negative birth rates in some countries, which I find very sad. However, I am speaking from a personal perspective, having two children and from there, having children is very enjoyable and it brings a different pace to life. I think it can cause a kind of anxiety and loneliness among those who do not have children, as well as a lot of trouble. Children are one of the gifts of Allah to us, so we should all accept it.
It is interesting, as two children is rare now, but even two is not enough to replace a population. It requires about 2.4.
Humans have to learn sooner or later that community is quite fundamental to their evolutionary process.
it will be later. Too much later.
As we chase individualism, we might end up losing the connections that truly make our lives meaningful.
I suspect that most people in their thirties today, will have very few real friends in two decades from now.
I guess other that animals suffer from this as well.Yesterday on the news I heard a story about raccoon who devastated the drinks shop. He smashed close to 40 bottles, got drunk and then went to sleep in the toilet. Why else would he do such thing if not from loneliness/ heartbreak?😛I read the same story. It was funny to see him passed out face-down next to the toilet. I think it is reminiscent of many lives today.
It seems that he/she took phrase party animal literally.
It’s wild how we keep inventing new ways to avoid each other, then wonder why everyone feels like a malfunctioning NPCs. Humans weren’t built for boss fights alone.
Whether someone wants kids or not is deeply personal, but the idea of continuity you mentioned is powerful. We all need something that extends our purpose beyond our own lifespan children, community, creations, or something else. Without that, life starts to feel like a loop instead of a journey. I’ve noticed how many people my age feel “stuck,” even though they have more choices than any generation before. Maybe the issue isn’t the lack of options, but the lack of long-term meaning behind those options.
Cheers.