One of your inhabitants deserves your gratitude for attempting to aid the Empire.

Greetings loyal followers.

My executive assistant Vera, who knows her onions, has informed me that one of your inhabitants has sent a transmission that is vital to the Empire.

It concerns this technological terror.

produced some technical drawings that should be very valuable to the Empire (but they probably won't be because the Empire is run by an incompetent, prune faced, smelly, sack of crap).The transmission in question was sent by @inber who is incredibly loyal to the Empire in general and me specifically. @inber has

It was brilliant how she used her tool to point directly at the area of concern. But will my boss notice it? Of course not. That moron will look at it and say "It looks fully operational to me". Too bad his freaking brain isn't "fully operational".

In her illustration, @inber has revealed a flaw I have been trying to get my idiot boss to acknowledge for months. Because he is a complete tool, The Emperor continues to ignore my repots about a defect in his beloved Death Star.

He claims that in its current condition the technological terror is "fully operational". Take a look at @inber's drawing. Does that thing look "fully operational"?

No!

It has a giant freaking hole in it! Do you know where the hole leads? To a freaking giant shaft. For some reason, the shaft is large enough to accommodate several small fighters or even a Corellian YT-1300f light freighter.

Emperor Palpatine, let me see if I can explain this. If they shoot this thingy right here, the entire station goes boom. This giant hole over here leads directly to the "no-no" spot. You are in the station. If it goes boom, you will die. Do you understand (you freaking idiot)?

Let's see... what happened last time a small fighter got close to that space station?

Oh yeah! It blew the whole mother loving moon sized thing up!

So maybe, just maybe, this time my boss should try and prevent that. But will he? Noooooooo. Of course not. Because he's a freaking idiot!

While we are on the subject, why would anyone design a ridiculously huge and expensive weapon with a large shaft running directly to the one component that can be detonated by small arms fire leading to a chain reaction that would destroy the entire station and everyone on board?

Oh I know. Because the engineers were hired by an unqualified, disgusting, simpleton who refuses to take advice from the smartest and most amazing being in the universe.

again!So @inber, although I truly appreciate your hard work and dedication to the Empire, sadly, your warning will not be heeded. Because my boss will never admit being wrong, everyone on that station is destined to die....

I showed this to my boss to see if it would refresh his memory. Nope. He still doesn't recall the humongous loss of resources and manpower. What a jack ass!

Now in the unlikely event that my boss does do the smart thing and listens to me (not likely considering he is a complete ignoramus) we still have one other problem. If he follows my advice and closes up that giant gaping hole in the side, he still refuses to take care of another pressing concern.

@inber I need you to design something to cover this up:

Only an idiot would order a weapon that costs trillions of credits and not cover up every orifice that could be exploited.

At this point I'll take anything. Perhaps a man hole cover, some tape or wrapping paper. If you are feeling really creative, maybe you can knit it a little hat out of yarn. Anything is better than just leaving a womp rat sized opening that leads directly to the main reactor.

Thinking about how absolutely stupid my imbecilic boss is has given me a headache. I need to get to a bacta tank right away. Then I will go down to the forest moon and eat some of those delicious Ewoks. If I'm going to die because of my boss's incompetence, I might as well do it with a belly full of my favorite meal.

Nasty Star
@inber
There is a giant freaking hole!
Boom
Orifice