I think you are so brave talking about these things openly online. It sounds like you have been subjected to emotional and physical violence and the fact that you are the way you are with your own children now is a credit to your own hard work and survival from your past trauma. Well done for breaking the cycle xx
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thank you @beautifulbullies, I really think it is important to break the silence that allows this sort of thing to happen, one way I can help is to be open about my past, it is healing for me also. It is such a powerful way of acknowledging it as well. I will do anything to insure my children do not have to experience what I did or many others did and unfortunately still do xx