That night

Laughter is good, even when it's at my own expense.

Sometimes that's the best kind.
I wonder what those pictures look like.
The candids that he snapped of me
I wonder if he can see - if the camera captured?
No, it's just a camera.
But still, I'd like to see them.

I love that he finds reasons to be close to me. Like a high school boy.
I can't do that. I simply don't know how without seeming too anxious.

His confidence.
Snuggling under the blankets on the beach. Intimate, but so comfortable.
It didn't feel at all inappropriate or awkward.
Just sweet and tender.

His body heat.
I wanted to press my body against him and absorb all his warmth.

His mind.
I love his mind.
All his star info.
I won't remember a thing he said. I don't even remember one constellation, but I don't care.
I just liked hearing him share his knowledge with me.
I could have easily fallen asleep again, lulled by his hushed, serious tones.

His voice
There are times when we're on the phone
Certain words that he says
Melts me.
Not the obvious ones. He figured those out quickly.
Like my name. When he whispers my name, it's like a spell.
But those other words. The cute, little way he says them.

I try so hard not to give away any subtle tells.
I love when I hear him say them naturally
And if I slip, he'll know their effect and won't be able to resist saying them more often

If it's intentional, it will lose its magic. So, I'll keep my little secrets.
And just love when he says them.

His patience.
He waits.
He is unlike any other man I've ever met
I think about what that might mean.
I think, and shake my head.
Don't think too much.
Just enjoy the moments you have with him.

Peek over at him now. Just with your eyes.
He's quiet.
I wonder what he's thinking
I'll close my eyes and let the silence hang.

---

Coming back to the hotel.
Laughing again.
This is our thing now.

The key, my purse, he does it every time.
I laugh every time.

I love the little things
He's so attentive.
Every little detail?
They're all important?
They are to me. Always have been.
But I've never met my match.

I lean back against the door
Just watching him.
He is moving closer.... Hands on my hips
So possessive
I feel like my head is swimming
I want to be his possession.

Such a sweet, soft kiss.
Unbelievable self control.
He's going to bed. To his room.
Watching him walk away.
End of a beautiful night

Or
"Nick."

He turns around.

"I know you're tired,
And I don't what this to sound like, what it's going to sound like but,"
I hesitate.
"Do you want to come in? No pressure. Just spending more time together?"

Well that was bold. Now, what? Is he too tired?

He starts walking back to my room
He stands close to me. Really, very close. I think he's going to kiss me again, but he doesn't.
His hand on the side of my cheek
Looks into my eyes.

"I suppose I can. But no funny business, young lady."

Laughing is so easy with him.
He can bring it out of me so quickly
He walks into my room and takes my hand, pulling me behind him gently.

We talk. and talk. and talk. First, sitting at the table.
Him, with his legs stretched out.
Me, with my legs tucked up under me.

Thirty minutes later, we're moved to the beds.
Still the gentleman, he is on one bed. I'm on the other.

Another thirty minutes and we are reclining. Stripped down a bit. Still fully clothed, but infinitely more relaxed.

Our fatigue starts to appear in our voices as they drop lower and lower.
I decide to slip into some confidence.
Sliding back on the bed, I suggest that he move over to my bed. We can talk quietly that way.

It sounded more believable in my head before I said it.
After I said it, and after seeing the subtle smile that reached his eyes,
I realize that I'm giving an obvious signal.

He doesn't hesitate.
He moves to my bed immediately.
He doesn't tease me
Or embarrass me.
Just lays on his right side while I lay on my left.

A foot of space between us
He closes the distance with his hand, caressing my face,
And we continue talking.

He moves his hand to my waist,
Lightly circling my hip with his thumb.

It isn't the focal point,
Just background.

Our conversation is still the focus, though our voices become quieter.
Lost in the sweetness of the extended time.

Subconsciously, we shift our positions until we are only inches apart.
I'm clearly getting sleepy,
but I keep forcing my eyes open.

The final time I blink, I blink much, much slower.
He notices.
Another night where I put her to sleep? He inhales.

"I'm gonna head back to my room Alicia, ok? You're falling asleep."

My eyes open quickly.
"No. I'm awake."

He laughs. "No, you're really not. Just one request. One kiss goodnight?"

I smile, a sniff of laughter escaping. "You didn't ask for permission tonight at the door."

"That wasn't a kiss. That was a chaste peck."

I feel my face and neck growing red. The blood rushes like a flood.
The answer is yes. But I can't make my mouth speak.

He persists.
"Just one. And then I'll go."

I look at him, willing my thoughts into his mind.

He laughs.
"Alicia, are you sleeping with your eyes open?"

I smile, shake my head no.

"Did you hear my question?"

I smile bigger and shake my head yes.
A few seconds pass and he laughs much harder.

"Well, can I have an answer?"

I nod again, smiling the fullest.
Be calm, Alicia. Just relax.

He moves his hands to the silkiest part of my waist.
He rubs his thumb, gently, up and down.

Tilts his head. Captures my mouth with his lips.
I gasp, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Technically, it is still one kiss.
He hasn't broken his word.

His mouth and hand become slightly more aggressive
And I melt.

Just one. One kiss is given, and he begins to pull away.
I lean in more,
A tiny little moan escapes me.
Like a question, asking for more.

He breaks the kiss. "Sorry. My word. I did say one."

He sees the yearning on my face.
He sees how badly I want more.
He can also see, I'm not going to ask.
He offers a solution.

"I said I would kiss you once. But we could still continue, if you wanted to kiss me."

My eyes fill with laughter.
I lean closer.
Put my hands on his chest
Lift my face to his.
Gently at first
Small, multiple, tentative kisses.

The smallest, little lick.
He groans and lets his tongue come out to play.

I feel the heat rising between my legs,
And I angle my hips toward him.
My kisses become more passionate,
Winding my fingers into his hair,
Offering my tongue again, soft and warm.

His tangles around mine, teasing and stroking.

Our lips are pink and swollen and sore,
Used until they're exhausted.

We finally, slowly, break apart,
Kissing again every few moments.
Coming back for just one more.
Just one more.

Staring into each other's eyes.
So aware, and yet so incredibly sleepy.

We don't say a word... Just smile, with an occasional, random kiss.

Snuggling.
We just silently agree to fall asleep right there, and before we know it.
Asleep.