Practice makes perfect, and writing creates better writers. This is the first draft of the Creation Story for the Targyn Civilization. You will see the basic history from a scientific viewpoint as I develop a new race of people and a very basic history. From here I am going to edit this Creation Story and post the revisions as it goes. I will let everyone read and comment and butcher it good... lay comments, suggestions, and feedback on this. I'd like to give the readers and Steemians a glimpse into what the Editing Process looks like (sometimes it's pretty harsh).
If you can't accept criticism, you will have trouble going far in the writing world. I'm still new to the Editing Process and have some difficulty handling some of it, but I've put myself out there.
Had Humanity survived on Earth twelve centuries ago, the Periodic Table of Elements would have remained finite. Due to the Fulcrum Wars and the meetings between the Off-Worlders, the entire Human species found themselves forced from their home on Earth. They drifted from world to world on Super-Cruisers that were larger than individual cities, borrowing time with other species. Then, after more than a hundred years of drifting, Targus Prime was found.
The new world brought with it new botanical species, new animal species, and new elements that Human Scientists had never seen before. The air was ionized, the skies a hazy violet, and the water a vivid green. The new elements in the air even fused to the Humans, making them more than Human. Targyns were formed by this merger of biology and elemental power.
Over the next several centuries, cities and empires rose and fell by the wayside. Cities that would make any Earthly architecture look humble sat unattended by life, only cared for by automated robotics and procedural systems. Being a Type II-25 Planetary Civilization, Targus Prime harvested energy from the nearby Solar Quasar as well as the AX-272 Solar Cluster to feed the grand Spires and Engineering Halls.
Starships buzzed harmoniously between Civic Pods, carrying supplies, materials and guests from one Zone to another; however, no further space exploration occurred as the Governmental Agencies felt they had traversed enough of the cosmos. As the genetic codes mutated from one generation to the next, the Feranium ions in the atmosphere bonded to the Carbon foundation of the biological entities to give Targyns mystical energy.
These new powers led to grave political battles and real-world wars. Pillars of fire destroyed hundreds of Pods and EMP blasts destroyed millions of yottabytes of data. An entire generation was flipped on its head and millions of people lost their lives. After that, the Polar Wars led to the totalitarian rule of the Fyrrons and the Council of Twelve. Great masterworks of art and science were done during this span of time before the Szang Rebellion ended with the Fyrrons being deposed. This led to the last century of Targyn livelihood, where the citizens began to work together to formulate the current society.
Now the people live in a true Democracy where popular votes rule everything and no vote is complete until every individual has voiced their opinion. Then, after each vote is complete, the opposition is sequestered and treated by the Mind Wiping Team. The Mind Wiping Team acted swiftly to “persuade” the opposing views so that every individual agreed with the final judgement.
Targus Prime now sits at a dangerous place in their existence as several stars in the AX-272 Solar Cluster have dimmed. As the stars die, the power flowing to the civilization wanes. After interstellar searches and analyses, it was discovered that several intergalactic species have been working to destroy the stars. A single communication, after several months of transmissions, has found a response returned in binary format.
All words are my @OriginalWorks and the image if from Pixabay and free of copyright.
Very nice job. In creative writing I have a hard time choosing names. Targus really just rings easily and identifiable.
Lately, I have been reading a Guardians of the Galaxy and X-Men crossover comic, The Targyns are a lot like the Shi'ar, a planet of super humanoids with mutant-like varieties.
Oh, interesting. I just started thinking of how Humans might evolve in a different system and then thought to myself "What if there are other elements out there that we haven't discovered that they could provide a bridge between the people and their surroundings?"
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<p dir="auto"><a href="http://steemitboard.com/@dbzfan4awhile" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/votes.png" srcset="https://images.hive.blog/768x0/https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/votes.png 1x, https://images.hive.blog/1536x0/https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/votes.png 2x" /> Award for the number of upvotes <p dir="auto"><sub><em>Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.<br /> <sub><em>If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word <code>STOP <p dir="auto">To support your work, I also upvoted your post! <blockquote> <p dir="auto">Do you like <a href="https://steemit.com/@steemitboard" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">SteemitBoard's project? Then <strong><a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" title="This link will take you away from hive.blog" class="external_link">Vote for its witness and <strong>get one more award!Is this written under influence of microdoping lsd..for enchanced creativity.. As it seems so above the relm of human mind
Nope, I don't do any drugs... I've never even tried recreational drugs in my entire life. As you can see, I don't need the extra influence, lol.
The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!Hello @dbzfan4awhile, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine.
Thanks so much! I am glad you enjoyed my writing/creative process!