He needs help

Hello guy, I will go straight to the point. Am married with two kids and I love my wife even though we have our differences I still love her. I know so many of her friends but there's particular one among them that controls her alot and my wife always heed whatever she says but I was hoping those will change once we are married. Unknown to me that my wife always tell her whenever we have any issues and she knows everything happening in my family. So we had a team bonding in my place of work and I snapped with a female colleague and put it on my DP. Next thing, this lady sent a lot of derogatory messages to me. Before now, her boyfriend slept with another lady and my wife never said anything about it let alone of calling to abuse him or anything. I was infuriated when I saw her messages and my wife response killed me. She said "if I respect her, I won't use my pix with al colleague on my DP that her friend is right". Her parent heard about it and begged me and I told her parents I don't want her to have any relationship with the lady again, all this happened 18 months ago. I have caught her several times calling or chatting with the lady. Each time I catch her, she either lie or beg. I caught on Sunday again and we fought about it. I sent the the screen grab to my brother anh he is always sad and ask what gave the lady such audacity to be that rude if not my wife, my aunt for UK was furious when she saw the screenshot of the messages. Am I asking for too much by telling her I don't want her friendship with the lady again? Honest response