Forgive yourself

I could feel the guilt all over again, the guilt he felt was more than the initial guilt he felt when l tried to force himself on Bola that night in my room.

On the night of our final year dinner, Bola followed me to my room to pass the night because the campus gate was already locked, while we got to the room emotions took over both of us we began kissing, I couldn't hold himself anymore I desired more so I began to slowly undress her.

Bola dissatisfied

She resisted my advances when the passion became to high I tried to use force .

Bola screamed and ran out of the room that night.

She was my best friend on campus.

It is now exactly 3 years after that night.

Bola meets me at a friends wedding ceremony coincidentally.

I tried to avoid meeting Bola just as I tried leaving the hall I meet Bola at the car park.

Bola asked how are you doing she asked with excitement ?

the question I heard in my subconscious was
"why did you try to force yourself on me ?

I replied "I am sorry about that night".

"Forgive me Bola"

Bola replied I only asked how are you doing ?

There was deep silence, that if a pin falls you would hear the sound.

I thought you have asked for my forgiveness and I forgave you Bola asked ?

I know Bola, but it is hard to think you have forgiven me.

After that night I was thrown into the dungeon of guilt.

I was trapped in the depth of my depression.

The kiss

The whispers of your resistance

My undue force.

My lustful adventure .

Bola I still fight with myself
I still think that you have not forgiven me, it is hard to think you have forgiven me, I find it easy to forgive others when they offend me but for that night I have never found reasons to forgive myself not because of myself but because of you.

I wondered; you would have children who would go into the university my story will be the caution for your girls, I doubt if your future children would not live by the lessons of that one night experience.

Bola replied

I have forgiven you Ade.

Please forgive yourself it never happened.

The words "FORGIVE YOURSELF was the magic that led to my freedom from the dungeon of guilt.

Fiction.

Ernest Agbonlahor

The art work used here belongs to Barnabas Macauley