It is widely publicized that Thailand routinely has the number 1 or 2 ranked "most dangerous roads" in the world. Yet, thousands if not millions of people a year rent and drive motorbikes while on their holidays here. I was one of those people years ago and now I drive a motorbike here every day. I am not dead. Here are some tips on how you too can manage to not die while driving a motorbike in Thailand.

For starters, don't do what is featured in the photo above. Not that you would, of course, despite the fact that this is actually a very common sight in this country.

First tip, and this is the most important one:

1 Wear your friggin helmet

I know it seems obvious yet so many people actively choose to not do so. This simple and cheap piece of protective equipment is what could possibly separate you from a person who has some nasty road rash from someone whose brain is on the other side of that fence.

Any place that rents you a bike is required by law to provide you with a helmet. However, it is entirely up to you to decide whether or not you enjoy having a head. I don't care if you are really safe and experienced behind the wheel of a bike, other people aren't and you can't prepare for other people's stupidity.

I personally know several people who would likely be alive today if they had only worn their helmets. But instead their skulls were cracked and they died right there on the spot. You see, your body can withstand a tremendous amount of damage but your head can withstand almost none. I was sad when these people died, sure. But it is their own stupid fault

2 forget what you know about road rules

Many people come over here from Europe or North America expecting the rules of the road that exist over in their home country to be observed here and will approach a corner with confidence because they KNOW they have "right of way." That sort of stuff doesn't exist in Thailand. Sure it is a law, but when you live in a country that has virtually no traffic enforcement of any sort, people just do what they want.

who has right of way here?

I have seen so many people take a spill because a foreigner has decided that they have "right of way" and even though they are NOT WRONG, that notion doesn't exist over here. Right of way is determined by whoever can fit into said space first and that is pretty much it.

3 always be aware of all your surroundings

I recall driving in America, where there is a huge amount of police oversight on the streets, and because everything was so organized I would actually daydream while driving. Ever heard of cruise control? We don't have that here because there is virtually no chance you are ever going to be able to set your speed at 65 MPH and just cruise. People WILL drive on the wrong side of the road because it is a shorter journey. Motorbikes will jump the median as a shortcut. People will run red lights because it is taking too long.

Basically, as a driver here in Thailand on a motorbike you need to drive as though no one can see you because in many ways, they aren't really looking for you anyway.

4 use your horn

I think I used my horn on my Toyota Corolla maybe 5 times in the 6 years I owned in before leaving the U.S.A.. Most of those times were to tell my friend that "I am outside, come get in the car!" I use my horn on my motorbike 5 times before I reach the end of my street in Thailand.

In the U.S.A. using your horn is seen as rude, but in Thailand (and all the other countries around it) it is as important as the tires. Since people are going to merge without looking, join the road without stopping, and turn without using turn signals it is YOUR JOB to "beep" them if they are about to drive in front of you. No one gets offended and that is just the way it is done here. When I enter an intersection I will beep the horn even if i have a green light. This is because I know that people run red lights.

No one is ever going to get upset with you for using your horn over here. This warning system is used all day, every day, by everyone on the road. Is it annoying and noise pollution? Absolutely... but it is better than getting into an accident.

5 Go slow

If you see a sign that looks like this it means that the speed limit is 50 kilometers and hour.

However, it may as well say that the speed limit is 5,000 miles an hour because nobody cares. I have at times looked down at my speedometer to discover that i was doing double the speed limit and cars were passing me like i was standing still.

A fantastic rule in this country to not dying on the road in it is to stay to the left and drive slow. You are on vacation right? What's the hurry?

6- your turn signal is not a safety shield

I have personally been T-boned twice by having my turn signal on, and waiting for a break in traffic only to be slammed into by the person passing me from behind. When you are in the middle of the road waiting to turn keep your eyes on your mirrors because there is a very good chance that someone is going to try to pass you regardless of the fact that you are (in my mind) clearly waiting in the middle of the road to turn.

In certain parts of Thailand like Koh Lanta, it is a common practice for people to fully pull over to the side of the road and then wait for a break in both traffic lanes before crossing.

7 Assume there are potholes, because there are potholes

While many of the roads in this country are very well paved a whole lot of them are not. Some of the potholes are more than 6 inches deep and considering that your $500 motorbike basically has bicycle tires on them, said pothole is definitely going to be trouble. The locals know exactly where they are and are able to avoid them based on memory. Assuming you are not a local, you do NOT know where they are and hitting one can bust your tires and force to to fly into a ditch.

I suppose this rule can be avoided simply by following rule #5

8 - do not use Thailand as your first time to drive a motorbike

The scooters are not terribly powerful - only 100 or 125 CC's. However, since the bikes are so lightweight you can still get up to 80 MpH on them. This is more than enough to kill you especially if you are shirtless, wearing flip-flops, boardshorts, and no helmet.

I used to own a shop and we rented motorbikes as one of the many services there. I used to talk to people and actually encourage them to NOT spend money at my shop if they were not comfortable driving a bike. Yet many many people come here having never driven a botorbike and choose to learn to drive one on the most dangerous roads in the world. Sounds like a great idea right? Well, it isn't.

If you crash your rented motorbike you are going to be covered in road rash, which really really sucks and takes ages to heal. You are then likely going to have a hospital bill. Then, after all that is done, depending on which part of the country you are in, you are likely going to get ripped off for the repairs because you signed a contract saying that you would (and probably didn't read it.)

STOP

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Ok, so reading back on this I can see that I am not painting a very pretty picture about renting a bike here so let me put a few disclaimers in here.

1. Most people that rent bikes here do not get injured and don't even crash.
2. A vast majority of the road deaths do NOT involve foreigners at all
3. most motorbike shops do NOT rip people off
4. most motorbike deaths are simply because the occupant was not wearing a helmet (your head is an egg!)

I know that some of you are actually from Africa and South America. I would be interested to hear about your own roads if you have the time to tell me. I promise to upvote with higher strength than normal if you do so.

Thanks for reading.