...My head and my heart are both pounding, for different reasons,of course but its unsettling all the same
My heart is pounding because of the woman standing with her hands on her hip staring at me with disbelief and annoyance on her face
My head is pounding with respect to 4 bottles of one nonsense thing i drank..or was it five bottles, I don't remember.
"Rachael? Are you mad? you say you did what?.."she's screaming now
"I didn't mean to, please stop screaming"
"You didn't mean to ?You're not a serious human".
I take a deep breath, This is going to be hard
" it was a one time thing, okay? What we need to talk about is what happened after ..we really do" I put so much emphasis on the really that it makes me nauseous
"A one time thing?" She asks looking at me like I have lost a nut in my head" you are an alcoholic Rachael, there is no one-time thing, its a relapse, that's what it is called" "I know but.... -" she cuts me off
"You can't do this right now, you cant relapse right now-am getting married for heavens sake"
Life is so cruel, my headache is so painful now
"And I am so happy for you sis, you know"
"Then act happy, stop drinking and be a sister for once in your life" she carries her hands up in aggravation" I can't believe this, you know my bad luck with guys more than anybody Rachael, you should be ecstatic, not stuffing your ugly face with alcohol, Quit being a selfish, self absorbed, arrogant person, and BE happy for me"
" I'm sorry" I said quietly and nothing has ever been so true
She breathes in and then sits down "what did you do this time? What do I need to fix now"
My heart goes into overdrive
"I'm sorry" I mutter again and my heart breaks, I cant do this to her, I should not have done this to her
"Last night Dave and I -" she shuffles closer
And a bold knock interrupts us
"Baby please open the door, we need to talk" That's Dave's Voice.. Shit! Somebody really hates me today
My sister rushes to the door and he steps in
He looks tired.. His eyes filled with guilt
"David, what happened?" My sister asks, her voice thick with concern
My heart goes a notch higher,God I swear I'm going to have a heart attack before today is over.