The length is just fine. Shortening by more than a page or two would be too much. Adding 20% might lend to distraction or losing a degree of the story line.

RE: Olivia rides away after breaking a piece off. Excited by the experience on her wonderful bike:

Her eyes begin to twinkle. Upon a star in the distance she ponders.
Her unique friend gave her an unforgettable experience. How wonderful is that golden star. "I must return and say thank you".

RE: "When Olivia rode back, there was a crowd of people around the superstar."

a golden hat for George
a golden telescope for Amelia
a golden pen for Edwardo