Coaching my son in baseball

in #sports7 years ago

It was suggested that I write about coaching my son Travis in baseball when he was younger. Here goes.

I refused to coach him when he was in Tee Ball. The screaming from parents and the overall chaos was not to my liking! I wanted to wait till he got to the age of 9 to start coaching him but was not able to as I will relate later. When he was in Tee Ball, I decided to coach an 11 to the 12-year-old team to start honing my coaching skills. I had a business at the time so I also Sponsored my teams.

I watched his Tee Ball games but stayed out of assisting. The coaching at that level was generally tolerable at best. At the age of 9, he moved up from Tee Ball. The league forgot my request to coach my son's team so he wasn't even on the team that I paid to sponsor and I had no team to coach. I ended up coaching a 13-year-old team which was played on a full-size baseball field. His team that year was coached by two of the most disorganized coaches I have ever seen. I would show up to assist when I didn't have my own practices and it was a circus. I volunteered to train their pitchers when I was there.

My son never got a chance to pitch that year. The team lost every game, despite the fact that it had 5 future All-Stars. That's how bad the coaching was. My son was disappointed he never got to pitch but it was beyond my ability to help. I was NOT going to be one of those parents that felt their child deserved this or that.

The next year, the league promised I would be able to coach (and sponsor) my son's team. He stated he really wanted to pitch. I told him if that was the case, he would have to get work in during the off-season since he never got any time on the mound the previous year. My exact words were something like this, "You need to get my A** off the couch every day so we can throw the ball in the backyard."

I started him with a simple pitching drill. I had a 5-gallon bucket I turned upside down and placed where his front leg would normally lift. He would start with his stride leg on the bucket. This way it was just a simple lift and stride. After just a few weeks he had developed very good accuracy. From there, we worked on a more traditional and balanced full wind up. It again took a couple weeks for the accuracy to return. Then I taught him to hit spots. We would throw 10 pitches to the outside corner, then 10 pitches to the inside corner.

He had quite a successful season that year averaging 2.47 strikeouts per inning. We played (and lost) the Championship game. He pitched well but the other team played just a bit better. I was proud of him and all my players. One of the opposing coaches came up to me after the game and said they had a nick-name for my son, Mr. Automatic because he always threw strikes.

While I was proud of my son, I was the typical Father/Coach. I was harder on him than the other boys. It took a few years to get that out of my system. When he moved up to 11 - 12's, he continued with his success on the mound and was also a very good hitter. When he was 12, I told him he was now the leader of the team and I demanded of him to be the first one in when the boys took their warm-up run269.jpg around the field. That changed quickly! There was an 11-year old that was placed on my team that was very tall and quite athletic! He raced around that lap like it was nothing and Travis came in behind him (by a lot) huffing and puffing. The rest of the team lagged even further behind. I told Travis on the way home that day that he could come in 2nd behind Richard. That kid was a Gazelle!

I developed a lot of drills that were more tailored to the marginal player, rather than the better players. My philosophy was that the better players would drive themselves if they wanted to improve. The marginal player needed those drills and the satisfaction of seeing those skills grow and develop towards the end of the year was awesome. We won a lot of games and played in a couple championship games. I even coached the All-Star team when Travis was 12. He threw a no-hitter through 5 innings. I only pulled him because I needed him to be available for a couple innings in the next game.

I taught several philosophies not only to my players but to their friends and family in the stands. We did not get mad at umpires for bad calls. Just like us as ballplayers, we make mistakes. So do umpires. We also ALWAYS showed good sportsmanship on the field and congratulated the other team when they made good plays. Controlling the parents was the hardest part. They had grown accustomed to berating an umpire and saying bad things about the other team. I gave several lectures standing in front of them. It was something I had to do every year.

I stopped coaching after his 13-year-old season. We had a great year and again played for a Championship. We never won any of those but we never made excuses. The other team was just better that day. I always told my players how proud I was of their efforts.

I made friends with many of the parents and am still in touch with some today. I think I gained more coaching those boys, teaching them sportsmanship and little life lessons than they ever gained from me. I played rec league softball against many of them as I played until I was 48 years old. I also found an OldTimers baseball league and my son was on the team for the last 10 years.

I moved from California to New York November of 2017. The last game I played was with my son and grandson as the opposing team allowed him to play. At 60 I still love the game. I don't have the skills I used to have but the drive and competitiveness are still there. I found an OldTimers team here on Long Island and am looking forward to starting over!306.jpg

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I'm so glad you told that story! I don't know why, but it felt to me like you coached for ten years. Those experiences had a big impact on me. I took advantage of being the Coach's daughter, and I'm sure I aggravated more than one player. I even had a few fleeting crushes, but nothing ever came of that. Travis was very clear with his friends and teammates that I was off limits. I think he was well-liked and respected enough that the other boys resisted my charm.

Bigger than that, I knew that you were doing good things for our family and the community. Even at that age, I was distressed by apathy, and I saw it everywhere. You were anything but apathetic. You cared about your boys. You pushed them hard, and you demanded that they have good skills and good character. You were universally respected, and parents wanted you to coach their boys.

While I respected your commitment to baseball, it made me feel like I had to play softball to get your approval or to connect with you. Playing ball was such a big part of our lives. I played for 3 years before I got up the guts to say that I didn't like playing. It was after you guys sent me to that skills camp for a week. I did very well there, and I knew that I was getting better and better, but I just did not enjoy playing. We know now how severely my illness must have impacted my athleticism, but at the time, I thought I was disappointing you guys.

Telling you I didn't want to play anymore turned out to be... inconsequential. You and Mom both encouraged me to follow my own interests. Getting that kind of support gave me so much confidence moving forward. I knew that you guys would support me, even if the activity was not something you were interested in.

I needed that.

You managed to coach me in the things that mattered.

Sometimes our worst fears come from inside us. When those fears aren't realized, it almost seems silly. We did get to play rec league softball together and that is still a great memory.

It did feel great when I would get a new team and find out the son of a Board Members of the league would have their son on my team.

I did enjoy taking you to gymnastics when you were younger. That could have been because the Gymnastics Coach was pretty hot! I never flirted though because I was married. LOL.

I may have coached you on the things that mattered and I can see you have been passing those life lessons on to the Boys. I think you have even refined some of my lessons and made them better!

very touching....a true coach

I learn as I teach.

In the last picture, my son is batting (middle top picture), pitching (top right), and baserunning (middle right. My Grandson is shown batting (middle left.) I am shown batting (bottom left.) The large middle picture is the 3 of us. Cherished memories!