Hi Abigail,
Another great article that is so personal. I find trying to penetrate someone's depression is one of the hardest things. So I'll jump to your question at the end: Do I have a technique for handling distressing thoughts? May I have a two-part answer?
If one of my family members is in danger, I have no technique. I obsess about their safety.
If it's not about my family, I act. No matter the situation or problem, I get up and do something. By asserting control over my environment, I counteract the sense of powerlessness and frustration that comes with depression. Maybe I'll just clean a long-neglected drawer (you may not have one of those--I have several😁). Best to help someone or something. That really gives a lift.
A very important discussion. As usual, I come away thoughtful--and also with the commitment to try and be more understanding of people who are depressed and cannot bring themselves to act.
Thank you for making me thoughtful, and for sharing your considerable wisdom with our community.
Happy thoughts,🌞 and peace,🌿
With affection and respect,
Your friend
AG 😇
Your two-part reply is more than welcome @agmoore2 😊 . I always tend to care about those who live with the individual undergoing psychological distress. I feel great empathy for them. Low/depressed mood is indeed similar to a black hole, in you it replaces your inner-light by obsessive worry. I have noticed this in many others too.
The latter part of your reply, for me, just reflects how as much as we (humans) are thinkers, we are also doers. I have found that nothing counterbalances the sense of powerlessness than taking action! This works really well for me as well (cooking, running, Yoga and so forth :))
Thank you for your constant support my dear friend.
With much love, as always ❤ :)
I haven't tried cooking. It would have to be energetic cooking, involving a lot of stirring and whipping 😁
I understand my obsessive worry about family. It's actually getting worse with age, and I believe I know why. When I was a child two of my brothers suffered catastrophic illnesses. These illnesses went on for years, endangered their lives, stole their childhoods. I still feel the deep sorrow of that if I dwell at all on what happened to them. So, now, when my grandchild or my children are ill or in danger... I feel a panic. Coping mechanisms developed over the years are probably not as strong as they were, and my response is very primitive, very childlike. Almost a post-traumatic stress reaction. Understanding helps a little, but doesn't stop the panic. Behavior modification might actually work, in this case.
You see how your articles lead to reflection and forward action?
Have a great, wonderful, sunny (or rainy) Portugal day.
With great respect, and affection,
AG 💛
Right, I read this comment yesterday just before turning off, but only now did I find the time to reply to it with the deserved care and attention. But first of all, let me tell you how sorry I feel about your brothers' childhood circumstances and also the distress that has caused you then and still now. But, like you said, understanding helps (even if a little).
As you know too well anxiety is linked to fear and the amygdala plays a central role there. The amygdala also plays an important part in consolidating and storing memories of stressful experiences. A part of it (the BLA) appears to be directly affected, following a stressful event, by a rise in glucocorticoid levels.
See, neuron in the amygdala of rats which underwent intense stress (through a controlled procedure that injected corticosterone in them) sprouted more dendrites, which caused them to display increased anxiety compared to the controls ref.. This suggests how trauma (or indeed PTSD) can result from traumatic events, and indicates how brain systems affect one another in times of stress.
All this to say that a hyperactive amygdala may contribute to the well-established vividness of emotionally significant memories ref.. It is no wonder why you feel the way you feel when a family member ins under threat :/ .
But, what drew my attention the most in your comment was when you said "this is worsening with age". Well, as you also know well, the automatic reaction such situations elicit just reinforce the neurobiological mechanisms underlying it. CBT proposes that a deliberate change in the thoughts (by rationalizing them) and the reactions these events prompt, would break some of these brain cell connections and form new ones elsewhere :)
I am so sorry @agmoore, I got absolutely carried away here. While writing to you (who I hold so dear), having my post-lunch coffee, and listening to some calming music.
I send you and your brothers bags and bags of love :*
I will leave you alone now :D
I'm so sorry Abigail, that I did that to you. It's the Internet, but you create a circle of trust and confidence.
My childhood challenges are not unique--surely there are many people who can relate. Children across the world and across time have been exposed to situations of extreme stress--war, deprivation, abuse. I think the children of our earliest ancestors must have faced danger every day. An adaptive amygdala is probably an essential survival mechanism (as is true for soldiers at war), which is misplaced in times of calm.
CBT for me! My family will be grateful to be free of my worrying brow 😅
Thank you for your thoughtful answer. Enjoy your morning, your day, your weekend. I certainly will enjoy mine. For me, most days the sun shines 🌞, no matter the weather.
With great appreciation, respect and affection,
Your friend
AG❥
❤️😊