You bring up some really good questions, and you know, I have no idea whether there is any bottom to this rabbit hole. Any of us (whether repatterning relatively small things like divorces and affairs, or large things, like childhood abuse or legit sociopathy or something like that) could potentially if so inclined take our entire lives and dedicate them to repatterning... Maybe finding the bottom, maybe never getting there.
I think... Maybe the point isn't to resolve all the shit from the past, but to be more ourselves in the present, to give ourselves that chance for space, freedom.and happiness now, in real time.
I think it is what our ancestors want for us, really. I think about this stuff alot... How we carry patterns out that we even hate to carry out, knowing we pass them on and the subsequent guilty feelings that come with it. Our ancestors who now have the ability of infinite knowledge and sight if they are in the ether as I suspect, want us to do the work. For us and for them.

I dunno. Some random things I thought of when I read your response. Which I loved btw. It's similar in our relationship, I have great relationship role models, hubby not so much. I think it's amazing that we all do what we can with what we have. Some people repattern without even knowing it. And it still brings goodness to the world. 😊