#Masters of the Universe - Hong Kong Phooey and Muxxley's final outing in...... V for Vicious!

As he lay sleeping Hong Kong Phooey's leg twitched constantly, his dreams were becoming more violent and wild. In his waking hours he pondered his future, wondering if he and Muxxley would ever be human again. The thought of staying in a dogs body forever concerned him, he could sense his humanity slipping away with each passing day and Muxxley was enjoying being a dog a little too much for his liking.

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If they didn't get their human personas back soon it would be too late. Something had to be done while he still had enough of a human mind to make the decision. If they didn't find a portal soon a reverse the process he'd be a butt sniffing ball licker forever!

He shuddered in his sleep and whimpered slightly, opening one eye he saw a shadow over him and was vaguely aware that someone was talking.

After giving his nether regions the most intensive cleaning of his entire dog life he got up to see Muxxley chatting to other dog.

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His immediate instinct was to massacre the strange dog but he fought the feeling, this shit had to stop!

"Are you going to introduce me then?" he said, startling Muxxley and the stranger.

"Hehehe, morning mate this is Brain he's with Inspector Scootadget." sniggered Muxxley.

Hong Kong Phooey walked towards Brain and the two pooches had a mutual friendly butt sniff. After the standard canine introductions were done the master of the doggy style spoke.

"What can we do for you Brain? he asked.

"I came to bring you and Muxxley the latest message from Julia Sorceress, she's given us all another mission."

He gave the two now psychotic dogs the message.......

Head north to Valmorlar where the Care Bears are being held captive in underground ice caverns by Professor Cold Heart. Be careful, as he has enlisted the help of No Heart and Icer to ward off the heroes. Help the Care Bears return home and unfreeze the Evergreen Forest before the ice encroaches upon Castle Greyskull.

Alternatively, head north to Castle Drekmore in Se’Andar to rescue the Gummi Bears from Duke Sigmund Igthorn. Watch out for other foes including Toadie and Lady Bane who are intent on stealing the Gummy Juice to boost their own powers and take over the north.

You have seven days to complete this mission.

Hong Kong Phooey looked at Muxxley and Brain trying to think of a way to tell them that he just didn't care about the Care Bears or the bloody Gummi Bears for that matter.

"Er, well....Um, thanks for that Brain. Muxxley, a word please."

Muxxley looked up from the steaming pile Brain had just turfed out and was about to start troffing.

"What's up? Hehehehe.

Hong Kong Phooey considered his thoughts and then the words just spewed out.

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"I couldn't give a shit about the mission mate and I'm sick of being a dog too, it was great at first but I'm worried we're turning wild. I want us to go back to being Lord Percy & Sir Muxxy, I'm also worried that if we don't go soon we'll forget who we really are and we'll stay as dogs forever and besides you were just about to eat a pile of dog shit do you want to be doing that forever?" Come on old friend, what do you say?"

"Medal, medal Hehehehe." was the reply.

"If I give you a medal will you come with me to Gorthlindir, find the portal and get the fuck out of here before it too late?"

"Hehehehe, deal but on one condition."

"Anything buddy, what is it?"

"I wanna bite the junk off one more bad guy before we go. Hehehehe."

"You're on my insane friend." Hong Kong Phooey agreed, secretly happy at the thought of having one last opportunity to kick the living shit out of Skeletors scumbag minions.

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After saying goodbye to Brain which was really just a ménage a trois of butt sniffing Hong Kong Phooey and Muxxley headed down the hill towards Gorthlindir. Looking at it from a distance they were both thinking of the carnage that would ensue if anyone tried to stop them getting to the portal.

Creeping towards the waters edge the two intrepid pups were in a high state of alert, something smelled fishy..........

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Suddenly there was huge splash as something shot from the water.

It was one of Skeletors evil hoard....
Merman.

Aaaaarrrggh!

Hong Kong Phooey looked at the fishy fiend as a cruel smile formed on his face.

"It that ridiculous scream supposed to scare us you scaley scumbag?" he taunted.

"Hehehehehe, fish supper old friend." added Muxxley.

"I will kill you like we killed your friend Stitchybitch, she was still yelping when we fed her to Sharkman you canine chod muncher." Merman stated as if victory was a given.

Hong Kong Phoeys Kung Fu skills had made him lightning fast but even he was shocked by the speed of Muxxleys attack. The mention of Stitchybitch and the news of her death had tipped him over the edge of insanity he'd been teetering on for a while now and Merman was going to pay in the most brutal fashion for murdering his friend.

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He launched himself at Merman, latching onto his leg with his razor sharp teeth, biting him over and over again. Merman screamed as Muxxley went berserk, tearing lumps of fishy flesh from the faux tough guys legs.
Not one to be left out and just as pissed as Muxxley, Hong Kong Phooey entered the fray determined to tear this plankton munching moron a new one!
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"Take that you stinky BASTARD!" he screamed as he opened with a flying chop to the neck.

Merman grunted and staggered but didn't go down so Hong Kong Phooey backed it up with kick to the midriff and as he doubled over he brought his knee up into the fishy foes face. Hitting the ground with a sickening thud the now frenzied canine pair moved in for the kill. Hong Kong Phooey was in control with partial humanity still coursing through him, he systematically broke Mermans arms and legs determined to make him suffer for what he'd done to Stitchybitch. Muxxley however was a different story, he was now 100% wild animal as he attacked the now incapacitated Merman. Biting his face and neck ferociously before tearing out his throat in a vicious coup de gras.

"Hehehehehe, wanker." said Muxxley, as blood dripped from his face. "That was fun!"

As Muxxley started rolling around in the huge pool of blood oozing from the unrecognisable Merman, Hong Kong Phooey pondered over whether or not to wait until nightfall to swim across to Gorthlindir. He knew it would be the smartest option to wait but was worried by Muxxleys behaviour, if they waited too long to make the crossing he feared Muxxley would be too far gone by the time they located the portal.

"Jeez Muxxley, stop that will you you'll stink like a third world brothel."

"Medal, medal. Hehehehehe." was the reply.

"Come on old friend let's get across this water and find that bloody portal, you can have all the medals you want when we get through." he promised.

The doggy paddle isn't the fastest swim stroke and it took over an hour for the two of them to get across to Gorthlindir. Once on the other side though they wasted no time. Hong Kong Phooey was confident he could blag his way across across town to the pyramid where Brain had told them the portal was located, however he wasn't so confident Muxxley would be able to do it though such was his increasing viciousness. Added to that he figured Skeletors crew would be looking for two dogs.

He needed a plan.

"Are you sure it will work?" said Muxxley.

"Well we won't find out until we try, and let's face it we don't have many options. Get in."

"But what about my plan? asked Muxxley.

"Killing everyone in Gorthlindir isn't a plan Muxxley, it's suicide."

"Grrrrrr." was all Muxxley said.

Hong Kong Phooey's plan was simple enough, disguise Muxxley, get some kind of transport, find the portal, murder anyone who stood in their way and go home. Easy!

The disguise for Muxxley had been stolen from a fancy dress shop and he was not happy about it however the promise of a lifetimes supply of medals once they'd got home had got him to go along with the plan. After that they'd stolen a delivery car from outside a Chinese restaurant which they'd almost crashed immediately but fortunately Hong Kong Phooey had managed to keep it in one piece long enough to learn how to handle driving.

"Come on Muxxley get in."

Muxxley stood there looking sorry for himself, Hong Kong Phooey didn't know why but he even hated the costume. It was just a costume, he knew Muxxley was inside it so why did he want to kill him? He put the thought aside and jumped in the car next to his friend.

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"Next stop the pyramid buddy, you know what to do if anyone tries to stop us."

"Hehehehehehe." was the standard reply.

As Hong Kong Phooey grew more confident handling the car he put his paw down to speed up then he started fiddling with the controls, all of a sudden the car started to lift off, what was happening?
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"What the hell is going on? growled Muxxley from inside the cat costume.

"I've got no idea but we're definately going to get to the pyramid quicker now."

"Hehehe, grrrrr, hehehe, grrrr." came the reply.

The increased height had given them the opportunity to see where they were going with a much greater ease than driving through the streets.
They could see the pyramid in the distance and Hong Kong Phooey headed directly for it.

He absentmindedly looked down and saw three slutty looking girls staggering drunk through the streets wearing thigh high pink boots and yearned to be human again, a pink lipstick poked out of his fur at the thought.

Hong Kong Phooey hadn't given a thought to landing the vehicle such was his desperation to get to the portal.

"Hold on Muxxley, this may get rough."

Hong Kong Phooey was clueless, he had no idea how to land the flying car so he decided a controlled crash was the best chance of survival, he scanned the ground below for something that looked like a soft landing.

Then he saw it.

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Mantenna was standing outside the pyramid!

"I'm going to land on that dirtbag Muxxley, get ready for a crash landing"

"Hehehehe."

Mantenna had his back to the flying Chinese food delivery car. As Hong Kong Phooey came up behind him Mantenna turned too late to react.......

The car hit Mantenna in the back and as it slid over him the rear rotor cut his head clean off. Hong Kong Phooey and Muxxley were catapulted out of the car and gambolled down the street. Jumping up immediately Muxxley ditched the now torn cat costume and ran back to savage what was left of Mantenna.

"Muxxley Nooooo!" screamed Hong Kong Phooey. "Come on we need to get inside."

Muxxley looked back with a wild deranged look in his eyes, Hong Kong Phooey knew then they had very little time to get to the portal. He fished through his pockets for the one thing that may bring Muxxley back from the brink, a medal!

"Muxxley, look a medal." he said dangling the coin he'd got from Brain in exchange for an extended butt cleaning something he prayed he wouldn't remember doing once he went back through the portal. "Follow me."

Muxxley ran after Hong Kong Phooey and his precious medal deep into the pyramid. Running for what seemed like an eternity the two dogs went left and right on instinct before bursting through a set of huge double doors. Skidding to a halt they both stood transfixed, they had made it.

The Portal.

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Hong Kong Phooey threw the medal into the portal and it had the desired effect. He knew Muxxley was too far gone to follow instructions so he took a chance and hoped he'd act on instinct.

"Medal, medal." was the last thing he heard as Muxxley launched himself into the portal after his reward.

He was just about to follow his old friend in when out of the shadows stepped.......

SKELETOR!

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"You didn't think you'd get way that easy did you , you foul dog?" Skeletor brayed.

"So we meet at last Skeletor, I must say you are one ugly, bony bastard." Hong Kong Phooey barked, forgetting no one understood anything he was saying.

"Prepare to fight your last fight you turd eater, I'm going to kill you like we killed that bitch of yours."

Hong Kong Phooey knew Skeletor was trying to bait him into doing something stupid but he wasn't going to fall into that trap, he knew on his own he may well die trying to defeat Skeletor and wanted to live to fight another day. He wanted to be a man again, to ride a horse, to enjoy a beer and most of all to seduce lots of women. He wasn't going let this megalomaniacal bellend ruin that.

He circled around trying to get closer to the portal but Skeletor blocked him off. As he stood looking into the portal an idea formed in his head. He quickly acted upon it......

Swooping low he went for Skeletor's legs catching him in the left knee and quickly followed it up with one to the right knee, it felt like he'd kicked an iron bar but it put Skeletor on the defensive. As Skeletor backed away Hong Kong Phooey's saw his opportunity, he launched himself through the air at Skeletor's face.

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As Hong Kong Phooey flew through the air, Skeletor instinctively ducked out of the way.

"Nooooooooo!" screamed Skeletor as Hong Kong Phooey flew straight into the portal.

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