For a some people, life’s happiness can emanate from one’s marriage. Others consider their wedding day as the happiest moment of their life, however, marriage also has the potential to bring in misery to a person. It is true that there are a lot of things in life that can bring both happiness and anguish to someone. But when it comes to marriage, it is said that a lot of couple gets more share of misery or anguish instead of happiness.
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According to statistics, there are marriages that seem to sink and end in divorce but in conjunction with that, there are marriages that remain afloat but seem to be stuck in a lake or stagnant water. There are couples who last for many years but despite that, they are not happy and to others, their experience is the worst ever. Why is it? According to someone I spoke to the other day, who inspired me to write this article, she can no longer see that her husband is even interested in how she feels. They have been married for more than 20 years, but her husband is her worst emotional enemy. He even told her once that he no longer love her. That he was only living with her for the sake of their two children, and if at all possible,he would not even want to share the same room. They are often together but they don’t pay attention to each other. They no longer do fun stuffs together and when they talk, they always end up in a fight. They just put up with the situation.
If these couple choose to stay together even when they are no longer happy, there are others who prefer to separate or divorce rather than endure emotional hardship. So I thought, if a couple's relationship is already this cold, is it right for them to let go of a life full of unhappiness? Or is it really better for the two to live together even though there is no love left for each other? Or can a marriage be saved, not just from the possibility of divorce but from a loveless union?
It is not surprising to know that many marriages today are loveless. Television shows, videos that surfaces on that internet and becomes trending topics, and even memes or quotes that can be read online illustrate this bitter truth. Many people enter this complex situation without even thinking about the advantages and disadvantages and what they can do in case problem arise.
Yes, many marriages dwell in happiness, but many do not. Probably because they entered into a relationship and their expectations were very high. Too idealistic it seems, but when reality strikes them, they no longer know how to deal with it. Many couples say that you can only get to know your partner fully when you are living together under the same roof, so often, when they are together, they only come to realize that they cannot deal with and tolerate the person with whom they are living with. Many also cannot afford long-term relationships and only want temporary happiness. Yes marriage is a serious matter and needs to be prepared well but some enters it without being fully prepared.
According to my research and interview with some married couple, here are some reasons why love can fade in a marriage:
Expectation versus reality. Like what I previously mentioned, some are slapped by reality once they are already married and they find it hard to deal with. Some expects that their married life will end in happily ever after during their wedding, that they’ll live like what it is portrayed in fairy tales and romance books. But that is not the case in reality. A lot of romantic movies, books and even songs shows how beautiful love is, but those are usually very unrealistic.
Incompatibility. In marriage, disagreements are always inevitable, sometimes, problems are hard to solve when a couple can’t come into agreement because they have different mindset and they may feel incompatible.