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Everyday habits that slowly but surely kill your relationship
When it comes to separation, we often think of the big problems: infidelity, quarrels, personal differences.
In most cases, however, the cracks in the relationship arise because of the much smaller things like the everyday habits that we neglect because of their insignificance at first glance. Their development and maintenance often take place at the expense of bond strength.
We may not be aware of most of these types of behavior, but everyone has allowed them at least once. What is important is not to make them habits, because they could damage even the strongest connections, therapists say.
Lack of communication
It is normal to pay attention to your personal space and interests, but it is important to deliberately spend time talking to the mate. "Communication is what sticks to people in the glue-like relationship," says Fran Walfisch, a family therapist from Beverly Hills. An option is, for example, to leave your home together and go to a meeting somewhere outside at least once a week.
Track results
By comparing what your partner does in comparison to what you do, it prevents you from being committed to acting and communicating with him and hence stops meeting each other's needs. If you keep a list of the black points of the mate (when he forgets to throw away the garbage, wash the plates or leave his shoes in the middle of the corridor), it's much easier to break out with him all this information, saying how much more you do. Instead, it's good to explain how important it is for you to do the things you do.
To say 'yes' when you want to answer 'no'
When you agree to shop, you will actually work late and you are not sure how you will be joining things, or you accept to accompany the partner to his service event, even though you are exhausted and need an emergency as a result of this, then it results in disappointment and remorse. The reason for the non-commitment of the promise, whether because you forgot, postponed or just gave up at the last minute.
Thus, imperceptibly, the partner has the feeling that 1) can not rely on you, 2) you do not consider the partner's needs as important. And when you keep saying "yes," the mate will no longer be sure when he can believe you really can do anything.
The omission to take care of yourself
When you feel exhausted and do not care for yourself, then you cannot be useful to others too, and this can create alienation and lack of quality communication with your partner. Everything rests on the principle of putting an air mask on an airplane - you must first set your own to help others.
So if you do not spend time on your interests, you should not be surprised that something in your relationship with your partner is not right - when we've filled our own needs, then we're more likely to get in touch with others.
Engaging in technology
Answering messages while listening to a partner is something that happened to most of us. The psychologist Katie Balestrieri claims that this allegedly innocent habit has more serious consequences - the lack of presence at the present moment creates the opposite compulsive sense of loneliness and insignificance. Therefore, it is advisable to know when you talk to your partner you are distracted and deliberately returning your thoughts to the subject.
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