Not my way..

This morning is very sunny, the sun brushing tears from the sky that has been tired moaning all night. I, too, brushed aside the wound I had just felt yesterday, a wound deliberately scratched by someone I trusted so dearly and loved. He was still a neighbor with me, his house near the intersection just a few meters from my house. He was named Hasan, my childhood friend who became the most trustworthy person in my life.

One sunny morning, Hasan met me at home with an unusual face, "Nur, I say goodbye to you" he said softly, "Where are you going?" I asked, "I want to find work in Jakarta, wait for me home ya Nur, I will come back for you later "the promise that I hold firm in my heart, I always believe in prayer that one day he will really come back for me.

For days I passed with an uncertain feeling, because the lover I was waiting for never gave news though only a rumor. I sat here, where he used to meet me with smiles and words that were so convincing. It's been a year since I've been waiting for his return, Deri's uncle, who knows I'm always waiting to be heartbroken to tell you the shocking news. "Nur, one year you are waiting for Hasan's return, are you unsaturated?" Asked Uncle Deri, "No uncle, because I'm still waiting for his promise to pick me up here" Deri's uncle wipes the dust on his forehead, "Uncle is very happy if Hasan wants back, but ... ", yet Deri's uncle tells about Hasan, an Inova car goes into Hasan's yard. Uncle Deri left me, he greeted someone who got off the car "Hasan?" The name I call does not bring the reality as I hope. Hasan goes down to open the door for someone, "Who is he?" I asked in amazement as he saw the beautiful girl get off the car driven by Hasan.



Uncle Deri met my father and mother, I heard from the room chamber he was recounting Hasan's journey in Jakarta. The girl named Vera, she was a Jakarta singer who fell in love with Hasan. They went home to settle here because Hasan did not want his wife to be singers anymore, they were blessed with a son who said he was very funny. Shattered and disappointed I never felt the sensation, I just hide it in my heart without anyone knowing.

The day went on, I went to school as usual with my junior high school friends who were recalcitrant and adventurous. Today I went to school with a change of clothes, even though it was 3rd grade but I still do not want to be too busy with the lessons because my close friends are many who like to spend time playing or hang out at tourist attractions. "Yes, he came home a week ago", "Nikah who is the same, Nur?" Continued Luna, "He said the Jakarta singer so" my friends do not want me to dissolve in the sadness , they tried to comfort and divert my thoughts.

Lately my mind is still on Hasan and the promise he once spoke first, especially now he never greeted me even staring or smiling he was reluctant. This afternoon I sat at the intersection, I saw Hasan walking from his house somewhere, "Arrogant, mentang-mentang already won already married first, do not want to say hello" I said, he just paused. At that time I wanted to slap and beat her, but I was not an emotional woman because when she apologized I could only be forced to forget all this.

I went to school as usual, there will be a graduation exam and I have to wrestle with books to complete this school. "Nur, where do you want to list?" Asked the father, "Do not know well, lazy me", "You must have a goal, try to SMA 1 aja gimana?" Added the mother, "I'm lazy, work is lah" "You have to go to high school to get a good degree too", "But Nurma no friend", "Kan your classmates also many yanag school to high school", "Ah males, Yudha. Luna sama lain also have not school "father and mother had forced me to continue to high school. But I do not want to mess around with textbooks, I want to work to earn money like other friends.

The sound of chickens woke me this morning, I woke up very lazy because Sunday became a boring day for me. "Nur, you do not go to the front house?" Mother said, "What's in the front house, Mom?", "His niece bu Dewi came from Jakarta", "Hooaammm why Jakarta, I want to go there?", "Yes want to go there, you cepet bath "," Yeah bu "I was forced to follow the mother to the house bu Dewi who was right in front of my house. There I was introduced to his nephew who I think is okay, "Hay, I think I've never met you huh?" He said, "Yes maybe" reply cuek, "Your name who?", "Nurma, you?", "I Ishaq". Since the introduction, I am more and more familiar with Ishaq also because the family is so nice to my family. He became a friend and brother to me, he's the one who can make me forget Hasan and my bitter memories first.

Until one day, Ishaq was accompanying me to clean the house, "Nur, take Ishaq rest first" Uncle said, "Yes uncle" I asked Ishaq to sit and gave him cold drinks and snacks, aunt came out with a snack, "Ishaq, think you are like a brother, your proximity to Nurma no one is surprised "Uncle Anang sucked his cigar," You're both grown up, even though Nurma just graduated from junior high school but he can be considered adult, it's good if you have a more serious relationship "I saw Ishaq frowning and smiling. He put down half the glass, "I also want this relationship seriously uncle, but for now I still can not meet the demands of my uncle and aunt. I will try to find a job first, once ready I will come back to propose Nurma "Ishaq so confident with his words. We talked a lot of things, also about my desire to work on appeals to schools that still have to cost not too little. After almost an afternoon, Ishaq said goodbye to go home and he had time to say he would think of the request of his uncle and aunt. He came home with the sweetest smile left for me.

The journey of someone's life nobody knows, I got a protest from the family for not wanting to go to high school. In the past few weeks I've been working in a wartel in the market area near Monday's road, a boss that I have so much fun with if I keep the wartel because I can make a lot of customers feel at home using the phone service here. I work daily sometimes until night, boss gives me money to eat because I am not provided to eat at work hence I have to find food elsewhere. "Mbak, ordinary rice kayak ya this money" I said, "Oh yes Nur, wait yes" I was so familiar with the warung warung, he named mbak Rita. "Nur, you if for example mbak introduce my sister would not?" Asked Rita someday, "Ah nah mbak, I still want to work first" mbak Rita just smiled, for some reason since the question mbak Rita I answer it seems strange with my heart. Perhaps because I often eat in his place, my heart starts to melt with his offer though sometimes I always think of Ishaq.

"You want it to happen twice" said father, "Yeah well, but I feel Ishaq is different from Hasan" a lot of consideration with the family until the final decision I was willing in a marriage with sister Rita mbak that looks older than me. A lot of change when I started to know him, someone so adult but very shy who is different from my own fussy and self-knowing personality. After some time getting to know each other, it was decided that the sacred marriage between me and her. One week before the wedding I had dreamed Ishaq came to see me, "Why are you so nervous me Nur", "What do you mean" Ishaq like to cry, "Why are you betraying our promise, I'm here trying to propose you but you choose someone else "Before I could answer Ishaq was gone with tears. I woke up from a dream, somehow suddenly I wanted to cry when remembering Ishaq. "Why do not you appear, I've been waiting for almost 2 years" I feel almost desperate because for a year more Ishaq never gave me the same news as Hasan's departure first.

2 years later…
My husband came home when I entered the house, a habit that I had memorized when I asked to take the play to Uncle Anang's house. "Nur, it's bad Nur" said Bibi suddenly, "Why, Bi?", "Ishaq came here with his sister", "Want to do it?", "Yes may want to propose you". Sure enough, it was not long before Ishaq came home with his sister, after expressing his intentions explained that I was married. "Actually my uncle was trying to keep Nurma, but his parents were traumatized by Nurma's past who had been married with his girlfriend" said Uncle Anang, "But I do not like his ex uncle, the proof I am back to propose him" Uncle Anang looked at aunt, "How ya nah, we are sorry but Nurma already married because for 2 years you do not give any news at all "Ishaq does not believe in Uncle Anang's words, auntie took me out and showed me my 7 month old. Ishaq stared at me, he approached me lamat-lamat I heard his voice followed by tears, "Why this baby is not mine" he said in a hoarse voice, he hugged and kissed my stomach that was pregnant with a child. Everyone in the room was touched to see the reality, Ishaq was really love me. The disappointment that he felt might be just as painful as my disappointment at seeing Hasan with his wife. If this is the reward given by nature then I am disappointed, why should someone as earnest as Ishaq who accept it.

The way my destiny did not grasp, the rolling of this story I let myself flow without trying to change or deflect the way. Perhaps this is the way outlined, Ishaq is not my soul mate.