Making a decision is hard, but fighting with myself to come up with a decision is what makes it harder!

Mama is planning to have a vacation in Romblon on 29. That's the final date, and she may stay there until March. Y'all know that she's the reason why I can go outside, have a walk around, or visit shops somewhere. If she stays there for long, then I'll surely get stuck at home for that long time because no one will drag me around to go here and there, lol. It is actually my choice to stay at home, it's just that, its Mama who keeps dragging me to explore the world, and I go along with it because it's more fun with her.

So, I am thinking of coming with her to Romblon. I told Mama that i would come with her. We already informed her nephew that it's not just Mama who'll come, and he sounds happy with it. Now, here's the problem, my introverted self is creating chaos in my head. The adventurous me is very excited with the upcoming vacation, but the other version of me is having a second thought again. This is really hard, you know. The first thing I asked Mama was if there's a lot of people in her Nephew's house.

I just can't help it, you know, they are basically still strangers to me. I never really met them in my 30 years existence. And I am not good with strangers. I don't know how to act, so how am I going to face them? It's hard, so I am thinking again if I should really come or not. I feel like it will be stressful for me if I go and have to think about how to face them. I'm used to facing just my family, so talking to strangers would be very hard for me. I really hate this side of me, but there's no way I can just change myself easily.

I only have three days to think, but there's a lot of reasons too why I think I should go with Mama. But the main reason I want to go there was the chance to go visit another province, which I haven't done since Batangas, and that's like 2017 or 2018. I can also explore my mom's hometown, and just thinking about it made me really excited. Well, I am actually more excited to see the place rather than see the faces of our relatives, lol. So I want to go, but at the same time, I don't want to.

I think I need to bash my head against the wall to make a final decision. Lol. If it's you and you are a little like me, always shy, happy just being in my own world, which is my room, always thinking too hard how to act in front of the people, if you are like this, how are you gonna make a decision? The adventure I'm about to experience in going there is actually what's tempting me, but do I really have to go? Aren't I already happy with how things are right now? Should I really go?

This is the kind of thought that's been running through my head. One moment I am so excited to go, but then there's also that moment where I will convince myself not to go, and then I'll start thinking of the reason why I shouldn't go. It's hard to fight with myself, I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. And this seems like a really simple problem that needs a simple solution, but it is easy to think that way, but for me, it is the hardest. How I wish I was not like this ( ꈍᴗꈍ).