Teen Choice: Staying Single

in Hive Learnerslast month

Dating is something my parents take seriously, especially towards their female children. They say that at age 18, one becomes an adult and can decide for themselves and be responsible for their actions and the results of their decisions. That is true, to some extent, for my parents.

At age 18, you'll be granted more freedom to make personal decisions with their guidance, but when it comes to dating, especially at a young age, you cannot make that decision solely.

While my sisters and I are allowed to make and keep friends, friendship with the opposite gender is somehow limited, not like we avoid guys totally and do not talk to them,* I have a brother. *

We actually have some male friends, but not as close as we are to our female friends. For example, we don't get to visit them, and they don't either, and there is a limit to our conversations with them online as well. It's not a deep friendship; with some of these male friends, we got to know them simply because they were friends with my big brother, people of the same faith as us, or even business partners, colleagues, and neighbors.

My parents strongly believe that a young lady should date whenever she is of marriageable age and is ready to marry, and not date just for the fun of it or to feel among. And that is the main reason why my parents don't allow their children to keep boyfriends; to them, it is a distraction.

***Oh! Yes! It is, and I agree with them on that. ***

Judging from the vicinity where we grew up, some things are actually not obtainable. For example, in some countries, teenagers are allowed to date, but only with their parents' guidance.

more like being in a parent-approved relationship.

It is not so in my country where many families do not allow their teenagers, especially their teen daughters, to date. Many people see it as taboo for teenagers to be in a relationship with each other; in fact, it is more like infatuation, because along the way, they eventually get tired of each other and move on to the next available person.

There are more reasons why my parents decided it would be best to keep their teenagers out of relationships or dating. Relationships come with their own troubles and disasters, which take mature minds who understand to iron out differences. But in most cases, when problems arise in teen relationships, it's always a case of quarrels, breakups, and jumping from one relationship to the next.

Instead of jumping from one relationship to the next, it is best to channel that energy toward self-development—maybe learn a skill, go to school, work, and develop oneself. What's the essence of dating when the intention is not marriage? Certainly, it is of no use.

Initially, I didn't understand the reasons why my parents insisted we become of marriageable age before dating. To me, it was one of those strict parents' cores. But growing, I had indeed seen the benefits, and I can say it was the best decision, especially as a young lady.

A man may go about living life to the fullest, as they call it, and have nothing to lose; in the end, he will still marry and have a family. Ladies are so easy to cancel out. A young lady might be living life as she pleases, but when it's time to get married and settle down, that's when you know that a lady is not supposed to live her life as she pleases, but in the right way.

Imagine a full-grown lady that is supposed to be at her husband's house, going from one prayer house to another, trying to find out who is tying her down spiritually and stopping her from getting married. To make matters worse, some ministers, in a bid to extort money from her, will keep lying and deceiving such an individual, asking for a huge amount of money and other items to untie her. Village people actually exist

And aside from not being able to get married, getting pregnant out of wedlock, teen pregnancy or parenthood could be the most negative aspect of it all. Cases of kids giving birth to kids. Your career, education, and dreams get canceled out, not to mention the emotional, physical and financial stress. And then there's rejection from family and friends who do not fail to remind you at any slightest opportunity how much of a failure you are and have been.

In fact, the negative effects outweigh the advantages, if there are any, and that is why I am single by choice.

Even though it might seem at first that I was single by force due to my parents' regulations, now I am single by choice as a teen girl, having known and seen the effects of premature relationships. I choose prioritizing my personal growth and future stability over fleeting romantic endeavors. What about you?

Image from freepik

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