Many times in life the people you spend most of your time with appears to be a stranger, many a times again you be with someone for just fraction of a second and feel like a lifetime spent with them. Many times your whole life passes in a moment and many times a moment doesn’t pass in a lifetime. You meet people, you forget people, you feel love, you feel hatred, but there’s always THAT ONE person and that one feeling stays on forever for the rest of your life. That one moment kills you every night and that very moment gives you the reason to live every morning. The one that makes you smile and the very one that makes you tear apart. That one moment, that one person, that one feeling, everything…. practically everything, it was just confined to one person in my life, my ONLY ONE!
People tell you of sunshine but they don’t teach you how to feel it. They tell you about life but will never tell you how to live it. My sunshine was never so bright unless she happened to me. My life was never so worth living unless she gave meaning to it. She seemed like a beautiful angel who lights up my darkened days and fills it up with her lovely smile, twinkling eyes and ever so sweet love.
2 Years Ago…
My life was never a happening one. I was probably the most lost child in class who gets scolded by almost every teacher. Life had never been an easier job for me. It was another new session, new class, but nothing new for me. I was the same poor boy at the back bench who stood at the pity of teachers. It was the first class of 12th standard and I was no way excited for it. The class went like a mental torture with no specific fascinating thing. Life was a trouble as ever and I was least bothered about anything. Classes went by as usual and then bell rung for the lunch. I actually wondered how people can be so happy with the small stuffs they had. I was mostly spotted on the corner bench of playground and so was today. I looked up at the sky and wondered why I am not like the other kids, carefree, innocent and unaware about most of the issues and complexities of life. Deep down in my thoughts I did not realize when the lunch got over and the bell had already rung…twice. I hurried to my class as I could see nobody else in the corridors. Entering my class I had no idea that this day was going to change my entire life. I was in my class and just about to sit when I realised there was a strange face that I had never seen before. There was a girl in her neatly ironed school dress finely combed hair with flaps tickling her face. Her eyes were so beautiful that I almost felt like staring them for hours. She wasn’t talking to anyone and probably no one even noticed her sitting there. Her face was partially visible to me but I knew for there that it was the most beautiful of all faces that I have ever seen. It may sound stupid rather childish to have a crush at first sight but be it so, I really fell for her. I wondered why she was sitting all alone in the class. I didn’t know her, neither what she felt like, but there was something really strange about her. That look on her face told me something that even I didn’t know. I felt like going to her and talking to her but I was afraid to come up as a desperate psycho and make her mock at me for the rest of our schooling. Amidst the thoughts I decided to wait for the right time and quietly took my seat. It sounds strange for a sixteen year old kid to go so crazy over a girl but there was something really special about her.
My thoughts were not so long lived as the teacher entered and we stood to greet her. She greeted us back and then told us about the new girl in town. She made her come in front of the class and introduced her as Disha. Disha, my heart actually skipped a beat listening to her name. There was this strange feeling and my heart started beating like hell. I was even scared of looking at her as I thought it would embarrass her on the very first day of her new school. Teacher told she was from Indore and her father was here to expand his business for which she came here. With my head hung low I just felt her passing by me and going to the front of the class and then there came the time when I heard the sweetest voice of the world. She was fumbling, maybe she was scared of the new place and people, or maybe she was scared of stupid like me who would fall for her and even follow her on her way to home and even in corridors because she was so beautiful. I was all taken by her sweet voice and lovely face but I still dared not see her. Deep down in my thoughts I did not realise that the class was actually making fun of her and whispering about her. I did not understand why such a beautiful girl was mocked at. Later the class went by the normal schedule and finally the bell rang marking the end of the day. While everybody was leaving, I saw her again… alone. There was a different kind of peace that dawned upon her face which was irresistible and I was head over heels into it.
Coming back home, I still couldn’t stop thinking about her. For the very first time I was excited about something. Next morning, I hurried to get ready and headed towards the school thinking of nothing else but her. I was about to reach my class when I saw the gossip girls’ group of our school. It was not like I was always bothered about what they say but something suddenly caught my attention, they were talking about Disha. If it was some other day I would have simply passed by but today I felt hard to do that.
Girl1: Have you seen her, God! She is so ugly!
Girl2: Yes and have you heard about her, you know the last school she was in, she was engaged in multiple relationships
Girl3: Yes, even I saw her looking at my boyfriend, she is such a despo
Girl1: slut!!
(……and the girls started giggling)
I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t sure of what I just heard. I was not even sure whether what I heard was correct or not, neither did I have the courage to walk up to her and ask, after all I was a no one in her life. With all these thoughts in my mind I went into the class and saw her sitting. My mind was probably occupied by the words I just heard about her but seeing her face I wondered if such an innocent face could ever hold such a past. Playgirl, they said, was she really one of those. My heart resisted believing in what people said but my mind was in opposition. I was battling with my thoughts when the teacher arrived and started with the daily curriculum.
Later that day I was still occupied by the same thoughts. Days passed by and things settled a bit but I could still hear from people talking about her of marks on her body which they claimed to be hickeys, and of her multiple relationships even now and also of how the students of our class hit on her and wanted to make up with her. Every time I heard something like that I felt like smacking the face of those assholes but every time I thought so I was driven by the fact that it would do no better but put her in trouble. Over weeks I only saw her getting into her shell even more and every time a new rumour sprang up about her, she drowned more into the dark world where there was no escape. She won’t say anything but I could see that right from her eyes. Eyes are the reflection of your soul, they say, and if this was true, her soul appeared to be the purest of all and how a pure soul can ever be wrong. Yes, I believed her and I wanted to tell her every time I saw her cry within. I knew she was not happy, I knew she even tried to kill herself… yes, I saw those slit marks on her wrist that she hid. I never got the courage to go up to her and speak as I did not want to add up to her pain but I made sure to give her a reason to smile every day, bringing her flower and keeping it under her desk, I knew she would be wondering who the person is and trust me I never even want to tell her. If there was one thing I was passionate about then that was seeing her smile. It sounds creep I know, but I was totally in love with this amazing girl, no matter what people say about her.
Later that day Teacher told us about the Annual Function that was going to be organised next month. Everybody was excited about it and for the first time I saw Disha smile that way, the moment she gave her name for the dancing group. She loves dancing, I have seen her in the Dance club and how passionate she is about it, probably that is the only escape for her from the world that never understood her.
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