ESP-ENG Abrazando mi ansiedad

Greetings community @holos-lotus I hope you are well, and those who are going through not so clear moments in their lives, I tell you with love that it will pass, patience.

Breath...

Yesterday was one of those days, where I was not so well, despite doing my things, having made notes of what I had to do, taking my times for me.

I have a few days battling with my inner desire for something better for me, and yesterday was one of those days, I think the universe always sends you signals everywhere: a song, a phrase, a conversation with someone, a conversation with strangers, in short, there are many ways, and I had heard twice something like “you have to move, to get what you want” words more words less, there were two videos with several hours between each one and that clicked in me, especially the second time I heard it.

All this together with the discomfort of the days, also a message that I received let's say normal, but between my emotions also caused in me an imbalance, I entered in a state of imminent anxiety, thousands and thousands of thoughts, situations invaded me, I was holding those feelings for a long time, until a little after 9 pm I decided to disconnect from my computer, and go to bed.

My son left with me and started talking to me and I was trying to pay attention to him, but at the same time I did not want to listen to him, at one point I sent him to change and pray (he prays with my mom) and those minutes were the collapse for me, I started crying and saying that I did not want to feel like that, that I did not want that anymore, that, why do I feel like that, that feeling of uncertainty, so bad.

For a moment the movie “intensely 2” came to mind when Riley, she had that anxiety attack and she had all these catastrophic thoughts her feeling and her mind forming stories in her head.

So, I kind of thought about taking another look at that anxiety I saw it as a shadow clinging to me, and I said I understand you, I know you care about me, I know you want me to evaluate the whole picture, thank you for showing me, I see you now, forgive me for not seeing you sooner, thank you, but I'll take care of it. These words I said to myself mentally and embraced that anxiety, I accepted it as part of me, little by little I felt better, the level went down and I felt a calmness, and I began to visualize how it felt to be at peace, what peace was, and something very valuable to be in gratitude, both for the “bad” lived and for what was after, the calmness.

It was a really strong moment because I had never felt like that, and from there I began to tell myself that “tomorrow I will have a good day” I repeated it to myself several times, until I fell asleep.

After the storm comes the calm, sometimes we are so emotionally vulnerable that the smallest things cause us a strong roar, I am grateful to have regained control of myself, accepting that part of me that I had not paid attention to.

I think this is part of personal growth, we are not always happy, laughing, joyful, we have our days or our moments, the important thing is to realize and regain control of ourselves, I did it by remembering the movie, but there will be other ways to return to oneself, and understand, look at oneself and accept oneself.

I thank the anxiety that showed me that I am strong, that I can fall and regain my calm, what happens on the outside is out of my control, but what happens on the inside, I am totally capable of controlling and regaining control of myself.

No doubt my dawn today was different, today I am better than yesterday, I do not forget my desire, but it will be at the time it has to be, and today good things have happened to me, for me the fact that I have done my activities with good humor, is to have a good day, my work taste, is positive.

I smiled better than other days, so the goal was achieved.

I feel that yesterday's Edioretza learned from herself, learned to see herself a little more and control herself a little more.

Grateful to the universe. Thanks to you for reading me. May calm and tranquility reign in your lives, a fraternal embrace...