Saying "no" can be the ultimate self-care ! [Learning the art]

My Dad once said that, it is not good to agree or say "yes" in every matters. It generally not a good idea to say "yes" to every matter, As sying "yes" to everything can lead to overcommitment, stress, and a lack of focus on our priorities, so it is important to carefully consider each request and say "no" when necessary to maintain balance in our life. However, if we reflect our life, saying "no" is generally not considered easy too. Saying "no" can often be uncomfortable due to social pressures, fear of disappointing others, or feeling like we might miss out on something by declining. It is not in everyone nature to say No to every matters unless and untill, we are familiar with the situation.

There is a situation that develops recently into my life which made me to wonder, if I am too weak to say NO or deny anything?

Everyday, I goes to a temple. The gatekeeper a young boy recruited recently, started getting friendlier with me. As I park my vehicle right at the entrance, I alwsys enquire about his well being, surely there is no harm in doing it. After few days, he asked me to get 'Prasadam' from inside the temple. This took me by surprise. As sharing Prasadam to other is a good deed, but at the same time, I taken back by his request. Being working for the temple, and also he has the right to worship. He can get inside the temple and can arrange the prasadsm of his own. Still he asked me to do so and to my surprise, I could not deny it straightaway. There is no harm in doing that, as nothing is taking away from my pocket. But denying such request may make him to think I am rude and have attitude issue.

For once, his request did not bother me, but considering the fact, that he remain in the temple for most of time, and I visits there only for few minutes did let me to wonder many questions. He has much access to the temple than me, still he wanted me to get the prasadam. I wanted to tell him, to arrange of his own, but on the second though, feeling pity for him and unable to deny his request, I said yes! But I did felt wrong for myself. By doing so I will make him over dependent on me. He would expect me to get the prasadam for him. And in case I missed on any day, he might feel bad or react in inappropriate way. For me it was hard to say NO.

Many people like me might struggle to say "no" due to a mix of factors :

• We might worry about hurting someone's feelings or causing conflict if they decline a request.

• Some individuals prioritize making others happy, even at the expense of their own needs.

• Feeling like they aren't worthy of saying no or that their opinion doesn't matter.

• Growing up in an environment where saying no was discouraged or punished.

• Societal pressure to be agreeable and avoid confrontation can make it difficult to refuse requests.

• Worrying that declining an opportunity might lead to missing out on something important.

• Not having clear personal boundaries can make it hard to know when to say no.

No is not a curse word!

It is generally okay to not say no in situations where we are comfortable with the request and it aligns with our priorities. But it is important to be able to say 'no' when necessary to set boundaries and protect our time and well-being. The key is to find a balance between being agreeable and prioritizing our own needs.

"Saying no all the time" I.e frequently declining requests or commitments. It is often used to describe someone who sets strong boundaries and prioritizes their time and well-being by habitually saying "no" to additional responsibilities or activities. This can be beneficial for managing stress and maintaining mental health, but needs to be balanced with considering situations where saying "yes" might be appropriate. It is important to be mindful of not being overly negative or dismissive when using this approach.

In my case, I had to take care of multiple factor. But after much thought, I didn't not responded to his request. I wanted him to be more active and self reliant. But many people do not entertain such request and Instantly denied them. With practice, it can become easier to assert our boundaries and say "no" when necessary.

Peace!!

Namaste @steemflow

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