MY SPACE; MY MEDICINE

No arguments, there are moments when I need my family members around;
Times when we should pray together,
Times when we should eat together,
Times when we should gist together,
Times when we laugh at our childish ways and learn from past mistakes,
But please there are times I need my space.

No debates, there are times I need my friends surrounding me
Times when I will burst out laughing at their silly jokes,
Times when quarrels comes, and it feels like we were never friends, but all of a sudden we realized that the quarrels came just to bond our friendship.
Times when I receive gifts and I feel like the “most treasured being on earth”.
Times when we take pictures together and it brings back good memories.
But please there are times I need my space.

No contradictions, there are times that I get to different environment and my personality causes me to ride along with the new faces
Times when I see people appear on different attires and physiques.
Times when I hear weird and awkward habits about people and I cannot help but wonder.
Times when I hear people with different voices and intonations; some; a thing to laugh at and few, a thing to admire.
But please there are times I need my space.

I grew up as a teenager despising the word ‘my space’, I did not want to hear it from anybody, not even my friends. I felt people who demanded for space, were those who wanted attention but never got it.
Just maybe, that was a cover up statement for someone who was used to a lonely life. Due to my enthusiastic and friendly personality, I saw no essence of being in one’s space. Not until……

Few years ago, I found myself in a boarding house, full of peers and absence of parents. At the beginning, I thought being with my peers was a solution to a strange feeling I had once in a while. Being amongst people that had like minds and could relate properly is one of the best place anyone would desire to be; I thought.

Not until I began to feel too familiar with the environment and needed a change. https://www.pexels.com/photo/women-lying-down-eating-lollipop-3491688/

Guess what? I finished my purpose for being in the boarding house and landed back at home. At the early period of my stay at home, I felt so happy and wished life contained only my family members. Everything, began conforming to the sweet life one would ever imagine with family. Trust me there is nothing that feels as good as being among people that love you genuinely and want the best for you.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/family-walk-on-the-beach-during-summer-29491355/

At some point with family, I felt too familiar with family and needed a change of environment. Where else do I go, having tried peers and family; the two most renown agents of socialization. I began to treat No contradictions, there are days I find myself in a new environment and I try so hard to mix up with myself, thinking it was probably one of these diseases caused by parasites. BUT NO! Something seems different this time.

Obviously, the weird feeling was not frequent, but it left so much impact on me whenever it started. I became reserved and introverted; a personality everyone knew was not my identity. I withdrew all to myself, because I could not explain the feeling to anyone.
I began to pay attention to myself, I began to overview my past, present and future. I opened my box of probabilities in life and began pondering on lots of things. I regretted my wrongs, congratulated myself and reset my goals.

I do not know about you, but I normally scribble emotions on a paper, whenever I do not feel so good. https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-meditating-on-a-rock-by-the-ocean-17607857/

I usually feel lots better after I pay attention to myself and emotions and I realized that most times all I need is just self-examination.
Try staying off the crowd whenever you do not feel good, it is not all times you need people around. Sometimes all the mind needs is self-attention.