Como estaba diciendo. No soy adecuado para una relación seria. Aunque lo intenté, no pude mantener mi promesa de comportarme y a pesar de mis sentimientos por ella. No me importó engañarla con su mejor amiga.
As I wassaying. I am not suitable for a serious relationship. Even though I tried, I couldn't keep my promise to behave myself and despite my feelings for her, I didn't mind cheating on her with her best friend.
Capítulo 4
LA HISTORIA DEL AÑO EPICO 2015
PARTE 4.4
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Sabía que ya formaba parte de mí el no querer tomar a la gente en serio. No sé si era por miedo a que me hicieran daño o si sólo era yo quien tenía ese problema de no poder estar con una sola mujer. Pero vamos ¿a quién no le ha pasado eso? Yo era un mujeriego de lo peor, y sí, ¡también un cabrón!
I knew it was already part of me, not wanting to take people seriously. I don't know if it was out of fear of being hurt or if it was just me who had this problem of not being able to be with just one woman. But come on, who hasn't had that happen to them? I was a womanizer of the worst, and yes, a bastard too!
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Alejandra era el tipo de mujer que se hacía la víctima para mantenerme a su lado. Aunque nunca la tomé en serio, sí quise ser su verdadero amigo. Pero era demasiado tarde, ya me tenía en sus manos y me sentía acorralado y estresado por haber perdido el control.
English version
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Alejandra was the type of woman who played the victim to keep me there with her. Although I never took her seriously, I did want to be her real friend. But it was too late, she already had me in her hands and I felt cornered and stressed for having lost control.
Hasta que una noche no pude seguir adelante y decidí terminar, sin importarme si iba corriendo a contarle a Mayer toda la verdad. Sentí que tenía que arriesgarme, (odio sentirme así)... Nunca pensé que después de eso no pasaría nada y respiré y pude tranquilizarme durante unos días. Hasta que el demonio se soltó, lo que pensé que no pasaría, pasó.
English version
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Until one night I couldn't go on any longer and decided to end it, not caring if I ran to Mayer to tell him the whole truth. I felt I had to take the risk, (I hate feeling like that)..... I never thought after that nothing would happen and I breathed and was able to calm down for a few days. Until the demon let loose, what I thought wouldn't happen, happened.
Alejandra le dijo todo a Mayer y yo lo acepté. Porque si realmente quería que me perdonara esta vez, no sería con una mentira. Por primera vez sentí que tenía que hacer lo correcto, hice todo lo posible para que me perdonara y no me dejara, y lo hizo. Me perdonó pero ya nada era igual, la desconfianza había comenzado y no la culpo, realmente me lo merecía.
English version
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Alejandra told Mayer everything and I just accepted it. Because if I really wanted him to forgive me this time, it would not be with a lie. For the first time I felt I had to do the right thing, I did everything I could to make him forgive me and not leave me, and he did. She forgave me but nothing was the same, the distrust had begun and I don't blame her, I really deserved it.
Pero, sin embargo, supimos manejar la situación y llegamos a un punto en el que éramos novios y mejores amigos. Podíamos hablar de lo que quisiéramos, creo que empezaba a darme cuenta de lo que significaba crecer. Era obvio que la quería, pero con el paso del tiempo todo empezó a volverse monótono y yo empezaba a estar molesto con la situación. Sin embargo, intentamos hacer las paces hasta que no pude seguir.
English version
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But nevertheless we knew how to handle the situation and we got to a point where we were boyfriend and girlfriend and best friends. We could talk about whatever we wanted, I think I was beginning to realize what it meant to grow up. It was obvious that I loved her, but as time went by everything started to become monotonous and I was starting to get annoyed with the situation. However, we tried to make up until I couldn't go on.
Decidí darme un tiempo, no quería herirla ni engañarla más. Luego volví a la soltería y con ella muchas otras locuras. Ambos nos mantuvimos en comunicación y nunca dejamos de hablarnos. Ella comenzó una relación, ¡obviamente me molestó! Pero lo acepté. Creo que ella también tenía derecho. Sin embargo yo no quería estar con nadie por primera vez en mi vida. Pero a quién le miento si en ese momento no sabía estar solo.
English version
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I decided to give myself some time, I didn't want to hurt her or cheat on her anymore. Then I went back to bachelorhood and with it many other crazy things, we both kept in communication and never stopped talking to each other, she started a relationship, obviously it bothered me! But I accepted it. I think she had the right too. However I didn't want to be with anyone for the first time in my life, but who am I lying to if at that time I didn't know how to be alone.