Who am I?
This is a question I find myself confronted with time and time again. Usually it's when someone else doesn't understand me or what I'm saying or feeling. Then I once again notice that everyone is different. And that often I don't even understand myself.
I've read lots of books and articles on psychology and personality development. I've watched numerous interviews and videos on living happily, and on self-love (which is connected apparently ;-) ). And I've taken pretty much every personality test I could find.
Apparently I'm the least common personality type, which is INFJ, the "advocate". I was intruiged by the short description - I suddenly found that I was quirky, yes, but others were too! I bought a whole book about the INFJ and since then I'm on the journey to get to know myself.
The one I found most helpful was the Myers-Briggs (16 personalities) test - you can take it here for example: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
About masks and layers
I've always felt like an alien in this world, never fitting in anywhere, but always trying to. Now I try to just be content with myself, with the way I am. But that also means opening up, shedding the various masks I show different people, peeling away layers of guilt and lies I've been told and told myself about me.
I'm travelling to my inner self, to my core, to who I really am. It's hard.
But it's worth it, I'm sure of it! I still have a long way ahead of me and I paint what I feel. At the moment I feel confused by myself and all my layers, which are all me but often contradict themselves...
Here are a few steps of this watercolor painting:
The sketch
Adding the "mask" and a few of my layers
Adding Gold (I think I want to shine!)
Adding my affinity to nature (green)
Adding highlights and shadows with pencils
And finally, the text just flowed out of me...
Thanks for watching! Please tell me what you think and if you like, upvote! :-) Do any of you also look for themselves?
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Another INFJ here! I just delved into this and I have to say that my mind is blown over the consistencies.
Beautiful art and I like how you used it with the words.....Looks very interesting. What's inside? ;)
Oh yay, hello INFJ! :-)
Thank you very much for your positive feedback!
What's inside I'm still about to find out - piece by piece each and every day... I am planning more paintings on the subject though. Maybe my exploring myself can also help others?
LOL! Everything has to have meaning and purpose so I think that is a great idea, @almarlene.
I've been watching this guy named "Frank James" on youtube doing a study of this personality as well. He's both very creative and humorous while discussing the deeper aspects of this personality. Very genuine and honest.
Whatever you share, I will appreciate. But I love how you opened that door.
Whoa, thanks for telling me about Frank James! I see a youtube watchathon coming up soon... Why have I never thought of looking for videos on INFJ?
And I'm still reading INFJ Personality by Dan Johnston - I think since about a year now... There are some great illustrations and thoughts with the hashtag #infj on instagram. On some days it really helps me to feel understood just seeing these little pieces of wisdom.
I am just mind-blown by the information - explains so much. Yes, I really like his videos because of their authenticity and honesty. I watched a few others but didn't really get as much out of them because they glossed over the topics. He goes pretty deep inside and pulls out very thoughtful perspectives.
I am just now studying this so you are probably way ahead of me in scope. I will look for Dan Johnston's book - thanks!
Thank you @almarlene!
Love the painting and your inspiration behind it. I am an INFJ too. It's kinda disturbing when I discovered that because I don't see myself as an advocate though many people do. So I don't really know 😅
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Thank you!
Oh, that's great, another INFJ! I once read that you never meet them in person, but only find them in the internet - might be true 😁
I don't much like the term "advocate", as it seems to suggest I should rather be a lawyer than doing the creative work I love. But pretty much all the details are true for me, and reading a lot about it makes me understand my weirdness better 😁
When did you take the test? I've taken it for the first time about 5 years ago, and again twice after that (every few years). Just in case I changed 😉
Ikr? Advocate? Me? 😂. It seems to suggest that I need to be out there being vocal trying to save the world. The idea makes me cringe LOL. But I do have the ability to see beyond people, their strengths and weaknesses and I think it makes me more compassionate and want to help. I can't remember when I first took the test, probably 8-9 years ago. I took it again several years ago. Same result.
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I think we can also save the world little by little with pieces of art ;-)
At least that's one of my big motivators to paint and make the world a little more beautiful...
Yeah, I also always had the same result, until recently when I was suddenly an INTJ. Which can't be true after I read what they are about :-/