Love the 'refillable lighter' analogy. Sounds like the lighter finally set the whole place on fire :)
Personally, the 'loss' of stuff - exterior belongings and material possessions - the rightly called "trappings" of an externally imposed success model, was incredibly liberating. It was quite literally as if a huge weight of 1000s of distractions had been lifted from me. I felt free.
The real loss is the loss of self, which you talk about about.. the loss of personal sovereignty, liberty, respect, dignity.. all the things that make us uniquely unique.
I'm no saint, I loved Napster when it came along, I've hijacked movies, songs, ebooks..anything I can lay my hands on, and by the Law of Karma or the Golden Rule possibly, my self-created content has likewise been hijacked, copied, pirated etc... I see it as a fair swap. Either they are people who can't afford to pay (been there) or will never pay. Either way, so what? I choose to move on.
3 'types' - Creator - Curator - Consumer. I believe this forms a circle, the self-feeding snake eating it's own tale... the poor old snake got demonised by the 'elites' - before the Fall, the snake was a symbol of eternal life (shedding it's skin and beginning life anew) wisdom and health.
Glad to read you are standing up to the 'hijackers' and reclaiming your sovereignty. It shows :)