BROOKLYN 99 Finale and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. A [drunken] discussion, interrupted.

This last weekend, I rode with the LLS, and Team in Training, to tackle the 100 mile ride around Lake Tahoe. I trained for 18 weeks, and our Southern California team raised over $200k for this amazing cause. I got in better shape, and I felt good about what I did, but I had no idea what an amazing organization this was.

The problem with this is that while I was typing out this post, I was drinking wine and watching Brooklyn 99. For integrity sake, I will quote the parts of the episode as it distracts and entertains me.

"Eggs for breakfast... you're further behind than I thought!"

You see, Captain Holt had meant to mentor Amy, but then they decided that they would try to cram it all in. She suggested over eggs, and then he said this. Hilarious! For this ride, we were mentored by some amazing coaches, but I let them down at every turn - "You don't have bike shorts or gloves? That's unacceptable." I get it, Amy!

The LLS has been raising money for the last 20 years. They have literally raised a BILLION dollars to fight cancer. Leukemia is a blood cancer. I didn't know shit about how horrible it was, but after joining this organization, my mother informed me that my uncle died from this exact cancer.

“Thanks for the heroin Hunky Jesus!”

So, the 99 thinks they're going to be shut down, so Jake and his weird little buddy go out in matching outfits to solve one last case together. When it happens super fast (he's just a BMX bike thief after all) they're super bummed about it. But then Jake finds a huge bag of heroin! Day saved. hahahahaha

BUT HERE'S THE THING I had NO IDEA that they were actually CURING cancer. Not only have they been paying for the amazing research that's been creating drugs that work towards prolonging the life of people suffering from various blood cancers BUT, they have actually found a way to take deactivated HIV cells and point them LIKE A GUN at cancerous blood cells in the body.

“I bet you’re an awesome fluffer. I bet you fluffed those riders right out of their bike shorts!”

So, Charles doesn't know what fluffer means, they've come up with a plan for Jake to go undercover in the BMX ring to find the dealer of the heroin and save the 99 (did I mention that the precinct is going to be shut down if they don't solve a HUGE case by the end of the day?!)

No radiation. No chemo. No "remission." Cancer Fucking Cured (specifically for CML as of now.) Here's an awesome article that talks about it. It's fucking incredible. The crazy part is how they're trying to now apply this to a wide range of cancers. Not just blood, but breast, lung, brain, etc!

Ahhhhh... you just drank cement! You just drank cement!

What's happening here is that Terry is trying to solve one more case to have the overall arrest record for the precinct (because right now it's everyone's favorite fatass, but Gina, in a depressingly relatable display of separation anxiety, is playing all manner of tricks on the 99 for the enjoyment of what she claims are her "followers." But really, I suspect she's just really sad it's all coming to an end.

We were trained for 18 weeks. Each week (after getting up at 5am, trying to poop, giving up after one little bunny pellet, driving an hour, getting dressed and geared up, and pooping one more "false dutchess" of unexplained diarrhea... we would then get together as a team for a mission moment. This would be a short talk from someone brought in to explain what we were fighting (raising money) for. The idea being that when you're going up some horrible seeming hill, you can think back on the daily, weekly and continually horrible struggle of the people suffering through chemo, and your ride doesn't feel so bad. I used to commute every day, and thought I was pretty awesome at biking. This rigorous training put me to shame.

“You know, I used to be pro. But then they said my antics were too nar. Kicked me off the circuit.”

Jake has just showed up for his undercover assignment... having not ridden in way too long. He (like me) is way out of his depth. Also, kind of crazy that this episode is resonating with my post. What the hell, red wine. Is this your doing?

There is something particularly fucked up about trying to climb a hill with 80 other people around you doing it, and thinking that you yourself could not possibly complete it. And THEN to have a person, who JUST TOLD YOU HOW THEY SURVIVED CANCER ride past you.

“Please let me win this. Since my mom died, that dog is all I have.”

Jake shouldn't have engaged. Just like how I felt. Don't let these "mission moments" affect me. I'm just here to ride bikes. I'm not here to feel.

But then you DO FEEL. There was a particularly hard climb I was on at one point, and I started thinking about how horrible I would feel if my father was diagnosed with cancer. And then I thought about how my friend on the team had just had that happen to the NIGHT BEFORE. And when I got to the top of that hill... well, I was balling my damn eyes out.

But I made it.

“Still… point one five kilometers away… rep.”
“Are you just holding up binoculars so I won’t see you cry?”
“Errr.Nope!”
“Me Either. I’m just gonna put these up here as well.”

The exact same thing happened to me after the ride was finally complete.

I met my goal of fundraising. Sorry to say, barely over my minimum commitment. At first I was fine with it. It was a goodly amount of money ($1,600) dollars. But after hearing the ACTUAL good this organization does, and seeing the contributions and commitments of the other fellows on the team, I was put to shame. But all that said, we did the ride, and I completed it. 100 miles. Under 7 hours of riding time. Didn't poop in the saddle (although, I might have over-hydrated and peed the hotel bed the night before the ride.) Sidenote, if you're gonna mess the bed after an entire day of NOT drinking, then what's the point of staying away from the booze!?! Riddle me that!

"We did it! I can't believe we did it!"

But here's the thing. Amy is super bummed that it's over. Her training with Cap. Holt has been everything she ever wanted, but now that it's done, she feels she's lost her purpose. I know how she feels.

So, this is where I go from there. I'm going to keep raising money for this cause. I'm going to keep training to be a better cyclist, and I'm going to keep telling people about what I learned. There are plenty of people that have it harder than me, and it's important to put others ahead of myself sometimes. We're still raising money, so if you wanna contribute to my page, now post ride, you can click here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/calso/ambbr17/BStern

"So, Jake's doing the right thing instead of the selfish thing?"

I'm as surprised as you are, Rosa!

Also, how fucking weird is it that this episode had so many bike references in it? Crazy right?!

Yeah.

So, here's a pic of me on the ride.

Figured you'd want to see this. Am I right?

"You didn't just work your own cases. You helped me, and Jake and Amy. There are hundreds of cases that wouldn't have been solved without you."

I mean, how relevant is that. Let's all take a page out of Terry's book. He was so fixated on winning the record that he didn't realize how many people he had helped and influenced along the way. My friends had made fun of me for just doing the ride because I like to ride bikes or wanted to be less of a fatass. But in the end, I did raise money, and DID raise some awareness. So thanks Rosa! And thanks LLS.

Anyway, if you know anyone who's suffering with this horrible disease, let them know about LLS. They don't just fundraise for cures. They help people that have just been diagnosed to be a port in the storm. A lifeline.

Can't wait to do this ride next season. And to see what happens to the Nine Nine, and next season of Brookly 99!

"The precinct will not be shut down!!!"

Thanks Gina!