I am sorry that you have had a few difficult surgeries. I absolutely take pride in making the experience for my patients much, much easier than they expected so that if the future they may feel more comfortable in anticipation of the next surgery they may need.
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The only thing worse then adult circumcision is adult circumcision revision... My anesthesiologist was pretty cool about the ordeal. Another friend of mine just went through a quadruple bypass surgery, he was scared going in, but right before he went out. The anesthesiologist liked him dead in the eye and said "You got this." He feels it changed his view and gave him hope, as he continues to recover he has adopted that mantra. I know there is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes, Do you have to stay and watch the whole surgery?
That's a tough thing to go through once, but TWICE! Ouch!
When patients are nervous, it's often a balance between coddling and reassurance. I enjoy that part of the job, using my ability to read people to see what I believe they need and adapting to that.
I work in an area where we do not use nurse anesthatists. So, I do stay for the entire duration of each surgery. But, that's really what makes it great. I enjoy the art of surgery and anesthesia and the physiology involved. I never wanted to work in an area where I would have someone else's life as my responsibility, but being managed by someone who was less qualified than myself to manage the many challenging situations that inevitably arrive.