Hive

vandalpress (26)in #relationships • 7 years ago
Notes on My Failed Relationships
An anti-advice column. ‘A charming Brazilian writer found on the Internet.’ February, 2018. I’m terrible at relationships. You shouldn’t look to me for advice. You should…
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vandalpress (26)in #politics • 7 years ago
In Defence of "Slavery"
People are not really talking about slavery when they talk about slavery. Peak District, UK. 2012. Slavery exists in our contemporary imagination as an opportunity for…
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vandalpress (26)in #love • 7 years ago
Product Review: Tenga® Easy Beat Egg™ Artificial Vagina, “Silky”
Just like a real woman it makes you nut too fast, he thought. Just like a real woman it makes you pull out. The fucksleeve came in the mail on a Tuesday. Just like a real…
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vandalpress (26)in #economics • 7 years ago
3 Reasons Why America is About to End
All empires fall. The American one is already well into its terminal phase. America has its flaws. Countless books examine them, but they often conclude their grim analyses…
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vandalpress (26)in #shortstory • 7 years ago
Baby with Jeff Koons Balloon Dog
The art world, illustrated. Judy Fiskin, the American artist and professor of photography and media at the California Institute of the Arts, stands on stage before an…
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vandalpress (26)in #politics • 7 years ago
Stop Living for Today
Banish the phrase from yoga classes, wellness retreats, and the potions aisle in Whole Foods. German city of Dresden in 1945 — Deutsche Fotothek Blick vom Rathausturm…
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vandalpress (26)in #work • 7 years ago
Shit Jobs: Telemarketing
There are two people, twelve years later, whose names, numbers and addresses I could recite for you. I still might kill them some day. You’re sitting there in a tiny cubicle…
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vandalpress (26)in #venenzuela • 7 years ago
No One Cares About Venenzuela
To imply that our increased interest in that country’s affairs has anything to do with the suffering of the people is an obvious lie. Hello! My name is Adam Tod Brown, and…
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vandalpress (26)in #alcoholism • 7 years ago
There is No Rock Bottom
We are desperate to believe that there is something solid and real in the gaping maw beneath us, something besides teeth and oblivion. But there isn’t. Fall of the Damned…
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vandalpress (26)in #relationships • 7 years ago
Are You Happy?
I liked A. You couldn’t help but like her. But B frightened me. And this is really more of a B story… (“Crying Spider”, Odilon Redon 1881) Hello. My name is Randy . I am…
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vandalpress (26)in #humor • 7 years ago
How to Write Emails Like a Hollywood Asshole
Making sure everyone knows you’re evil using text alone. DISCLAIMER: No identification with actual humans or humanity or kindness or justice or goodness is intended or…
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vandalpress (26)in #work • 7 years ago
Why Being a Tortured Artist is Fucking Pointless
On not living in a fantasy world of unjustified self-importance. I was living in a fantasy. Holy. Beautiful. Full of laughter. But masked by sadness and a prescription of…
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vandalpress (26)in #humor • 7 years ago
Beverly Hills Plebs
A young man—living in a trailer in Beverly Hills—sees something horrific while bartending for his wealthy employer. (Photo: Tim Barnett) The following is an excerpt from…
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vandalpress (26)in #poverty • 7 years ago
Hawbuck, Illinois
“I really enjoy you white trash girls,” he said, before rubbing his face all over my chest. He looked like clip art of the old, bald town drunkard, shoulders hunched forward…
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vandalpress (26)in #fiction • 7 years ago
LIGHT
I’m teaching myself to be more violent. Both for my success and a greater sense of world peace. My models for this path are Mahandas Karamchand Gandhi, leader of the Indian…
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vandalpress (26)in #writing • 7 years ago
The Vandal Press Manifesto
A Publishing House for the Blockchain Age Traditional publishers are in decline. They beg us to subscribe, plaster ads all over their content, and dress up other ads as…
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vandalpress (26)in #literature • 7 years ago
Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
A literary exegesis of the most important novel of our time. Editor’s note: this 2012 review is based on the eBook Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon…
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vandalpress (26)in #losangeles • 7 years ago
BEG, BORROW, OR DEAL II
HOW TO SELL COCAINE TO ASSHOLES IN LOS ANGELES IN ORDER TO WRITE GOODER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER BY: DG ALLIN They asked Faulkner what’s the best job for a writer, in order to…
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vandalpress (26)in #food • 7 years ago
Shit Jobs: McDonald's
The value of work is less than zero. BY DELICIOUS TACOS I was sixteen and my mom made me get a job. Again. Learn the value of work. She was right, it’s a lesson I…
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vandalpress (26)in #jordanpeterson • 7 years ago
10 Things I Learned From Jordan Peterson
From Marxism to Personal Responsibility in 7,000 Words Welcome to Dr. Jordan B. Peterson’s world(view). Over the past year and a half I have transformed from an avowed…
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