notb4mycoffee

notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 9 hours ago
Texting, Texting, 1, 2, 3
There was a time when my kids used to hang on my every word. Granted, they were toddlers and mostly interested in whether I had snacks or a Band-Aid, but still. Now that they’re…
$1.12
Pending payout amount: $1.12
Breakdown: 0.56 HBD, 2.76 HP
Payout in 7 days
4 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • yesterday
Good Thing There Is No Law Against Dressing Badly
Not a picture of my actual teen... they look far worse. I love my kids. Truly. But when it comes to their fashion choices, I sometimes wonder if they are actively trying to…
$1.09
Pending payout amount: $1.09
Breakdown: 0.55 HBD, 2.69 HP
Payout in 6 days
7 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 2 days ago
White Knuckles: Teaching Teens To Drive
Teaching my kids to drive has been the most terrifying bonding experience of my life. I thought childbirth was stressful. I thought potty training was intense. But nothing…
$1.08
Pending payout amount: $1.08
Breakdown: 0.54 HBD, 2.67 HP
Payout in 5 days
6 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 3 days ago
The Great Escape
It was supposed to be a peaceful walk. Just me, the leash, and our dog who is usually more focused on sniffing blades of grass than chasing squirrels. I was wearing my comfy…
$1.14
Pending payout amount: $1.14
Breakdown: 0.57 HBD, 2.80 HP
Payout in 4 days
4 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 4 days ago
How to Embarass Your Teen Without Even Trying
I have discovered a hidden talent. I do not need to put in any effort. I do not need to plan ahead. I embarrass my teenagers simply by existing. It is a gift. I used to think…
$1.18
Pending payout amount: $1.18
Breakdown: 0.59 HBD, 2.90 HP
Payout in 3 days
3 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 5 days ago
Who Moved My Cheese... And Every Other Edible Thing In The House?
I am convinced my teenagers have a black hole in their stomachs. There is no other logical explanation for the way food vanishes in this house. I go grocery shopping, unload…
$1.17
Pending payout amount: $1.17
Breakdown: 0.58 HBD, 2.88 HP
Payout in 2 days
5 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 6 days ago
I Need Some Wineto Aid Me With FInancial Aid
Applying for college financial aid is like stepping into a game show where the grand prize is debt and the consolation prize is also debt. I thought the hardest part of the…
$1.23
Pending payout amount: $1.23
Breakdown: 0.61 HBD, 3.02 HP
Payout in 13 hours
3 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 8 days ago
Curses! Foiled Again!
I used to think I was a pretty sharp parent. I mean I made it through college I can set up a WiFi router and I know how to parallel park. Surely I could stay one step ahead of my…
$1.12
Past Payouts $1.12
- Author $0.56
- Curators $0.56
3 1
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 8 days ago
Lost in Translation Part 2
Just when I thought I had accepted my fate as an outsider in the ever-changing world of teen slang, my kids upped the ante. They have now introduced a new level of…
$1.11
Past Payouts $1.11
- Author $0.55
- Curators $0.55
7 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 10 days ago
Lost In Translation
There was a time when I felt pretty cool. I knew all the latest trends. I understood pop culture references. I could carry on a conversation without feeling like I needed a…
$1.15
Past Payouts $1.15
- Author $0.58
- Curators $0.58
3 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 12 days ago
Laundry
There are few things more terrifying than walking into a teenager’s room and seeing the state of their laundry. It is as if they believe clothing belongs in three places: on…
$1.19
Past Payouts $1.19
- Author $0.59
- Curators $0.59
3 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 12 days ago
Sportsball!
Watching sports with teenagers is a test of patience, endurance, and your ability to decipher what on earth they are yelling at the screen. I naively thought family sports nights…
$1.20
Past Payouts $1.20
- Author $0.60
- Curators $0.60
5 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 13 days ago
Teenagers vs Grandma and Granpa
Every so often, I gather my teenagers, load them into the car, and embark on the grand journey to visit their grandparents. You would think I was dragging them to a medieval…
$1.24
Past Payouts $1.24
- Author $0.62
- Curators $0.62
3 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 14 days ago
Attention Spa... Squirrel!
Once upon a time, my kids could sit through an entire movie without moving. It was a magical era when they would curl up on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, barely blinking.…
$1.27
Past Payouts $1.27
- Author $0.64
- Curators $0.64
4 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 15 days ago
Investing in Our Future
There comes a time in every parent’s life when their teenager decides they are ready to become a millionaire. For my kids, this realization struck after they saw a TikTok…
$1.26
Past Payouts $1.26
- Author $0.63
- Curators $0.63
3 1
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 16 days ago
Get a Job!
There comes a time in every teenager’s life when they realize that money does not magically appear in their bank account. That moment happened in my house when my teenager…
$1.25
Past Payouts $1.25
- Author $0.63
- Curators $0.63
7 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 17 days ago
Let's Talk About College... For The 1 Millionth TIme
Lately, our house has turned into an ongoing college debate club. My teenagers have decided that discussing colleges is their new favorite pastime. And by…
$1.27
Past Payouts $1.27
- Author $0.64
- Curators $0.64
7 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 18 days ago
Yard "Work"
There’s nothing quite like the reaction of a teenager when you tell them it’s time to do yard work. You’d think I had just asked them to climb Mount Everest barefoot…
$1.28
Past Payouts $1.28
- Author $0.64
- Curators $0.64
3 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 19 days ago
Going to the Movies with Teenagers: A Survival Guide
Going to the movies with teenagers is an experience. Not a fun experience, necessarily, but an experience nonetheless. First, there’s the ticket negotiation phase. Back in my…
$1.28
Past Payouts $1.28
- Author $0.64
- Curators $0.64
6 0
notb4mycoffee (66)in #funny • 20 days ago
"Treat Me Like an Adult!" (Except When It's Inconvenient)
There comes a time in every parent’s life when their teenager suddenly demands, “You need to start treating me like an adult!” This is usually said with great conviction, right…
$1.18
Past Payouts $1.18
- Author $0.59
- Curators $0.59
4 0

notb4mycoffee (66)