I've got less than a month until I get to go home. Less than 3 weeks until I finish work. Around 17 more articles to post until I can finally take a break from this, from daily writing, daily working, daily stress, and so on.
Although I've got so little more to go, I feel a bit lost. I don't really know what else to write about. I feel as if I finally reached the limit of my ability to think of new topics to approach. After over 192 articles posted over the past few months, I finally got to the point where I can say "I have no idea what else I could write about".
The worst part is that I know how to fix this. I have to consume more content, to explore different areas, to read different books, to entertain new ideas, and so on. I've done all of this before when I ran out of things to write about.
But all this takes time, as does everything. It takes time to watch a multitude of movies, from different genres, so that I can get even a few new ideas to write about. It takes time to read a bunch of different books and think about them before I can say "yes, I understood what the book was about, now I can begin to try to write about this". It also takes time to write as an exploration method, to see if I can put new sentences and paragraphs together that will make sense.
And time is exactly what I don't have right now. A few years ago my main problem was not having enough money. Right now it's not having enough time, although money is still a problem.
All of this makes me feel a bit lost. Daily writing went from a fun activity, a challenge, to a mechanical process that I do every day, involving at least 30 minutes of idea-searching, trying to make sense of what's in my head, hoping that at the end of my 15 minutes writing session whatever I wrote will make sense.
The fact that I have to accept all of that as a fact for another 17 days, without being able to change anything, is frustrating. All I get to do at this point is to just continue writing, and hoping that after November, once I have enough free time again, I can go back to writing about what I'm interested in,rather than writing just because I want to prove something to myself.