As you live and interact with people, there is a proclivity for offence because of many factors. Firstly, perfection has not been attained by humankind. More so, each one has their own opinion, thoughts, disposition, belief, etc, which can conflict with yours, and as such, offences will arise. Obviously, relationship and interaction with people can be ladened by emotions with an almost infinite results like anger, joy, happiness, disappointment, excitement, offence, etc. So as long as humans are involved, you cannot stop offence, rather you only have a choice of forgiveness.
One should understand that forgiveness does not mean that you have accepted what the offender did or you have marked it right, but it simply means that you will not be held bondage by someone else's offence. The truth is that holding unforgiveness against someone does a lot of harm to you, even more than the person that has offended you. As a matter of fact, it is just like serving a self-inflicted punishment over someone's offences. There is a level of peace that comes to your mind when you know that you are neither bearing unforgiveness against someone nor grudges in your heart.
It is true that you cannot stop offences from coming, of course it is part of the human nature. That you have forgiven someone does not mean that you have taken them as friend, but it means that you have freed your mind from the bondage of grudges and you do not have them as enemy. Whether the person apologizes or not (the person may not even know they offended you), you need to forgive.
By forgiving someone, you are not rendering favour to them, rather you are doing good to yourself. If you have ever had unforgiveness for someone, you will agree with me that there is a heaviness that you experience in your heart, coupled with the mental stress you have to pass through simply because of unforgiveness. Now I ask you; are all these stress and strain worth it? Imagine if you are holding grudge in your mind against someone and you suddenly run into them, maybe on the road, in a bus, in a subway, etc, your heart will jump and even skip a couple of beats.
The amount of energy you use to bear grudges in your heart towards someone or wishing them ill, if you channel the same energy into something productive, it will bring you much gain. Trust me, there is nothing to gain from grudge and unforgiveness, rather you stand to lose your peace and your rest of mind. It is true that forgiveness may not be easy, especially if the offence is something you did not expect from someone you did not expect it from, but you still need to forgive for your own greater good.
It is worthy to note that all of us have also enjoyed forgiveness from people in the time past, so it is also human to extend the same forgiveness to others. You do not have to wish for ill to befall anyone at the slightest offence, nor plan revenge for an offence, you have to give room for forgiveness. If you decide to revenge, it may not make you to feel better at the end. But when you forgive, you prove that you are the better human. And of course, it will go to show your good personality. No matter how big the offence may be, and no matter how deep you may be hurt by the offence, you can still forgive if you choose to.
One should note that forgiveness is not a gift. Obviously, no one is born and given the exclusive gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is simply a product of choice and a right choice at that. To forgive, you have to make the choice within your mind and then put it to actions. You may be surprised that what you call offence, if you look at it from the other person's point of view, you may be the one to apologise to the person. When you try to see things from people's perspectives and also try to be open-minded towards life and event, it will limit the offence you bear in your mind.
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