There Is No Planet B

in #life7 months ago

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Daddy, can I ask you something. Something serious?

My fork paused mid-delivery to my mouth.

Fuck?! What was this. Can't a man just have his dinner in peace? Slowly I put my fork back on my plate and gave the Little Lady one of those lying-happy-parent smiles.

Of course you can my darling. You can ask me anything!

I glanced over at the Good Lady for a raising eyebrow high-five at what an awesome parent I was.

The Good Lady smiled back, her eyes shining with happiness at being the lady of a man who can.

Can I take the day off school tomorrow to go on a protest march organised by Greta Thunberg?

A silence descended upon the table. A brooding awful silence as if a large mythical bird had flown into the room and did a big leathery shit on the table.

I beg your pardon? Can you what what what?!

My fork, which had been celebrating being raised up with some food to my mouth clanged back onto my plate.

What the fuck was going on? Who the fuck let Greta Thunberg into my house? Was my house now woke? Can you catch woke? Should I get tested?

These and other questions raced through my mind.
Do you have to wear clean underpants every day? Can you not just beat them with a toffeehammer and fling the same pair back on?

The Little Lady leaned forward and fluttered her bewitching eyes.

Please Daddy? Pleeeeeease. Its a once in a lifetime opportunity. Please let me go marching?!

Her bottom lip trembled like Aceh Rice pudding.

No. Absolutely not. You have School. You can't just stay off school on a whim to go eat fondue with mad Swiss folk?!

My eyes rolled so hard they became honorary members of the HashKings tribe.

Daddy, please! It's COP26. This is IMPORTANT! We are trying to save the world. You old people don't get it. This is about my children and my children's children?!

The Little Lady slammed her hand down hard onto the table.

I noticed the Good Lady staring at me coldly as if I were a bloated corpse washed up on a beach.

I was baffled, what had I done wrong? Didn't School matter anymore? What were we meant to tell them? Sorry, our daughter can't come in today, she is going on a march with Greta Thunberg?

Christ, what would the crazies of Hive think if they found out I was harbouring Greta sympathisers in my house? Maybe they would try to get me evicted from the Cabal?

Hey, why am I the bad guy? I just don't want her to miss school and go on a protest where she gets kettled and tear-gassed. Is that so wrong?

I didn't mention that there were bound to be hundreds of unwashed hippies braiding their beards and eating vegan cheese. For whatever reason, the Good Lady seemed to be on the side of the hippies these days.

Perhaps she had always been a hippy and I hadn't noticed because of the sex. Shit, if she became a protester would we still be able to have sex? Do protesters make sweet love to their partners or just wave placards and protest about having it?

The Good Lady interrupted my musings by loudly taking a deep breath.

Daddy-Bear. It's her right to protest. I say we should let her. In fact, how dare we stand in her way?

She gave me that look, the one that says, stop stroking our neighbour's cat so suggestively when it curls around your legs as you get out of the car.

She's only 8 years old? Come on, this is MADNESS?!

I looked around for a Persian to kick into a deep hole but there wasn't one.

I will take her. She will be fine.

The Little Lady let out a cheer at her Mummy's pronouncement.

I sat there, slightly confused.

Why did you even ask me if it was a done deal?

I eventually sputtered.

The pair of protesters looked at me pityingly.

We had hoped you would say yes, but we knew you would say no.

The Good Lady sighed as if I had failed yet another vital test.

Oh, ok. Well, erm. Enjoy your protest then. Don't let that Greta one lead you astray, I ain't bailing you out of jail.

The two of them ran off in delight shouting about making placards.

I looked down at my now cold dinner.

Fucking Greta.

Sort:  

Yeah it’s not fun getting ganged up on like that, dinner time I think was strategically significant timing.

The only climate they wanted lowered was the climate of my dinner!!

!PIZZA

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If it hadn't been a trap, the conversation would have been something more akin to...


The Good Lady looked longingly into my eyes and said ...

The little lady and I are going to attend the protest march organised by Greta Thunberg tomorrow.

My fork paused mid-delivery to my mouth.

That's wonderful my darlings. I hope the weathers nice. You know how unpredictable Glasgow weather is this time of year.
Why is my daughter not going to school so that she can get a high paying job and pay for my alcohol and tobacco habits. Meh, this will look good as an outside activity on her flawless resume. Besides, this will give me some alone time on a Saturday

My fork continued travelling in it's perfect trajectory toward my mouth. It was a spectacular bite.

Haha, it would have been like that. Admiral Ackbar has the right of it. It was a trap and a fiendish one at that!

They did it today, I didn't even get a sneaky chill time because I was working. Next time I will insist it is a Saturday!!

!PIZZA

I thought that by now you would have learned the hard way that fighting two females is never a win-win, as it is always a lose-lose.
Best thing is to rather join them and my two daughters are now 53 and 46, but they spin me easily around their fingers hahaha.
The bad thing is that the grand kids (I have 6 of them) also gets away with many little tricks that they play on me with their little angelic faces :)
But you love your females and just so do I love mine.

Six grandkids!! That's awesome but I can imagine them getting away with murder!!

I should have learned by now but I am a big softie for them just as you say. The yin to our Yang!!!

Cheers dude!!

!PIZZA

Apologies Boomy, we are struggling with power cuts here.

Yeah, 6 of the little tykes. Real little ankle biters as we used to call small children in the past, but I love all of them with no favorites.
Time flies and they are growing up too quickly.

Cheers and !BEER

Never apologise dudester!!

I hope the power cuts come to a stop!!

They are indeed, it's like a speeded up film!!

Thank you and we are having a bit of a hurry curry time with the power cuts here.
Yep, blink and they are a year older.


Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of BEER from @papilloncharity for you. Enjoy it!

Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your BEER.

Greta Thunberg

I had to look her up but once I saw the image... it all came back. School it should be!

If you are over 35, then you are OLD. My 18 year old daughter told me yesterday. We oldies don't understand all this COP shit.

We dont! They have a point. I think the kids are a lot more savvy than us. We are the old guard and they are pushing us out.

And they are right! :OD

I switched on the news this morning to find more COP shit, the Watchdog show challenging BBC journalist about too much COP, and the top twenty google searches not even mentioning COP. Which means most of us don't give a shit.

The fact is the news content was still fucking COP!

If it's COP, it gets switched off in my house. It's as interesting as the Royal Baby.

Oh you are lucky!! In my house is all about COP!!!

there are even muttered threats of going on the march today but I have put my foot down and said no. It's meant to be giant and I don't want to be horse charged!!

I looked down at my now cold dinner.

Her protest power already cooled things! Maybe all that hot air wafting out of the COP26 meeting will heat your breakfast by proxy. Or something. Don’t want you to suffer two cold meals in a row!

I never try to dissuade idealism and enthusiasm in youngsters, as long as they get to see the full reality and consequences of their chosen platform.

My father was a stone cold tree killa, and I’m most definitely cut from the ecological mold, yet we still can have a convo about touchy subjects without carnage, so I think you did splendid on The Greta T front. They do infuse them with ideology young these days though, eee.

They do. It is almost like the youngsters come prepacked with the ideology.

I am quite the tree hugger and my dad was someone who literally couldn't give a hoot for the environment or anything like that. WE were the same though and could cha stand talk and disagree and it would all be good. That is the way talk should go, back and forth without all the argy bargy. Especially with family!.

My breakfast tomorrow had better not get cold though. Or there will be hell to pay!

!PIZZA !

I’m definitely suffering from argy bargy fatigue (Magnificent term btw:). Maybe I hugged so many trees in my youth that the sap inhalation inhibited my hate receptors, cause I really don’t get the whole you must DIE a thousand horrible deaths mentality just because of ideological disagreement. Wish the world was more like you and your dad.

I think I’m gonna go touch some grass and send some positive vibes your way, don’t want to see a literal MeesterBOOM cause of frigid breakfast lol!

Hehe, I'm all talk, ridiculously so!

I think I have huge too many trees also in the great past.

I almost think that no one deserves a thousand deaths. Well, excrpt my alter ego. After all there has to be a bit of evil to balance out the good to make everything make sense! :0)

Totally dominating play by the little lady and Good lady! What else can we expect when they gang up, determined to Save the world :) As entertaining a read as ever. I used to enjoy reading your musings on steemit. Left the platform due to a personal tragedy and am back here. Glad to see some of my old favorites like you are still here. Don't know if you remember me... Hope you do.

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I recognised the name but I wasn't sure until I saw the lion at the bottom of your comment. I remember that very well!

Nice to see ya asked I hope you are doing well now :0)

Thank you so much @meesterboom. I am ok now. Was very depressed after the tragedy so immersed myself in work. Didn't get on any social media. I am fine now and have pursued photography as a passion a lot more. So, sharing here again. It's hard going though. Its like starting all over again. Thank you so much for your kind words and connecting with me. It surely helps me to feel at home. The lion is one of my own creations - low polygon art from scratch. :)

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Polygon art is awesome! And it is still a fine job

I understand what it is like I have had a few issues myself these past few years and it is hard ot get over them. I am very glad to hear you are fine now. I am following you again :O)

Thank you so much Sir. Your support is much appreciated

I have to say I pity the world once us old people that dont get it die off. 😁

After the protest maybe you can take her around the airport so she can see all of the pretty private jets that our would be saviors flew in on to discus climate change. I hear there were 118 of such gas guzzlers that flew in for the fun. I say the hypocrisy of the mega rich knows no bounds.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/oliverwilliams1/2021/11/05/118-private-jets-take-leaders-to-cop26-climate-summit-burning-over-1000-tons-of-co2/?sh=384e78d253d9

Oh, the hypocrisy was strong with this event. Private jets everywhere! The UK prime minister took a jet to London for a dinner then came back up. Hopefully, the young uns can change things when they are older!

What an amazing young lady you are raising - she sounds so intelligent and knows what she wants..... and now the bad news. Suck it up buttercup, you are fighting a loosing battle here

Yep, that is ultimately the case. I am glad she has that fire in her belly though. At least she can try!

Is there a chance that your daughter is looking for an excuse to skip school, because I think that my son would agree to go pick up used needles out of alligator infested ditches to skip out on grammar. Ha. I hope it is an exciting adventure for the both of them. It seems to me that protest sex should be excellent. Just think of all that energy and enthusiasm coursing through her veins afterward;)

HAhahaha, oh you hit the nail on the head there with regard to the conversations that have been flowing here. I have constantly been like, you just wanted to skip school which is met with howls of protest in return. I bet it's true though!

Lol, by the time we geta chance I think the protest enthusiasm might have waned a tad! :OD

I suppose the solution is to send the little lady to school next time and you go on the protest with your wife. There just might be a discrete bathroom somewhere...might be worth it;)

Haha, a fine idea. It wouldn't be the first time we had taken advantage of such things!

How did I miss this last night when I read your other one?

I took my mother on her first protest when she came to visit me, it was the first time I lived in Washington, DC. She didn't tell my father, but, that's okay. He saw her on National Television and flew here to bring her home.

She had to listen to him go on and on like she was a teenager protesting bra-burning. I have to say that I make sure mine were equipped with the right information and were willing to pay the consequences, although 8 years old?? - holy moly! What are they teaching those kids in school?

It was the age thing that surprised me. I would expect that kind of thing when she was a teenager but not now!!

How did I miss this last night when I read your other one?

I must have been flooding your feed with my non stop posts so you missed it 🤣

Haha! Go on with ya!! Must be getting blind!

Maybe I need to be woke sleeping more.

That's three thing. I'm woke almost three quarters of the day. Not even by choice! :0D

You may have to buy more kids to keep the teams even! :))

Damn it, the good ones cost a fortune!

Dash it, man!! Look in the discount coupon sites!

What a great idea! I might be able to get a twofer!

lol... is this a true story? This is surreal. Well-written, but surreal, lol. Sounds like you've got your hands full with those two. 🙏

Yo. Mr R! On the march! I even stole her placard slogan :0)

Screenshot_20211107-225545_Gallery-picsay.jpg

Hehe, yes indeed. I do have my hands full. In a good way!

Haha! Mr. M! Thanks for delivering photo proof of this amazing tale, and what can I say, she's definitely got a catchy placard slogan. And yep, totally understood, a good way indeed. Sending you all well-wishes for a great day! 🙏

And indeed you too.

Regretfully her placard didn't last long. It wasn't quite weatherproof enough for Scotland :0D

😁 Hmmm... well at least it's digitally immortalized through your photo in all it's glory. 🤣

Look on the bright side , a day alone. You could sit in the car all day with the engine running having a few beers, that'll teach em to catch the Master of the house in a pincer movement.

Great writing as always and how cool that kids these days have such awareness of what's going on and can form such deep opinions.

At that age, my most difficult dilemma was deciding whether to watch Blue Peter or Magpie!

Have a great weekend :-)

I had the same dilemma when I was young. It was more about shall we watch TV or go out and play soldiers!!

They did splendidly outflank me but I am quite proud that they went. Seven though I had to work. Boo hiss!!

Cheers mate!

!PIZZA

Fucking Greta.

And what for fuck's sake is COP26!?

It's that bit conference for the world leaders to discuss the climate. It's in Glasgow of all places. I think that's the only reason I know it's on!!

!PIZZA

Ah yes, where them posh all flew to Glasgow in their private planes, to discuss other people their carbon footprint and how to lower that. 😄
They probably thought the Dear Green Place was the right spot to go for this. Must be nice when they're off again. Thx for the pizza!



Posted via D.Buzz

That's what they did!! It was fecking madness. There is so much population from the flights and the private plants and giant Humvees that are driving about. It's a sham!!

Well, the many will have to do the right thing so a few can do the bad thing! So those few set the bad example, so the rest knows what the right thing is. Makes perfect sense, does it not? 🤔

It is a days job, but someone has to do it. So let the many stop breathing out CO2. 😂

Is is too early for beer, asking for a friend...

I looked around for a Persian to kick into a deep hole but there wasn't one

I will show you one but you have to come to a protest with me. It's called COP300.

!PIZZA

That's my kind of protest!! Can I wear a loin cloth??

!PIZZA !BEER

Yes, but it must be so very scant and revealing that it only just barely covers your majestic nethers.

I have one just like that by some strange coincidence!

Mine have been to a few protests, a couple with me til I stopped going as I realised neurohacking worked better for me. Middle child has been to a few more with friends. I remember being that age and feeling like I was doing something so I guess it’s a useful step/phase?

I could just be very simplistic but I’m also somewhat puzzled about why they bothered asking you instead of just telling you what they were doing if they were going to do it anyway 🤨🤣

I know!! I think they must have had a bet on or something to see what I would say.

I wonder if they think I am this old dinosaur who always says no. That would be outrageous!!

I have been on a few in my day, I didn't expect the little lady to start showing an interest so soon. In fairness she has always been interested so it shouldn't have been a surprise. You can't move for the COP26 stuff around here!

When I first saw your header I thought you misspelled PLAN B , haha but maybe the protest will lead TO plan B for the uk lol... I loved your story per usual, but now Greta...I'll keep that one to myself :)
I hope they enjoy themselves.

They did! They had a whale of a time. I quite liked the planet B phrase, that is what she put on her placard. I am sure she stole it from somewhere but claims she came up with it herself :OD

Ha ha well there is no real originality anyway, so we'll call it her's :) Funny times we live in, interesting to be about in a time we know will be History book fodder, eh? @meesterboom

Indeed, these are times to remember. Unless things go do much to pot that in future we won't even have a second to think of them!

Woke is a scary thing indeed and when led by a teen - shudder
You handled it very well @meesterboom ;p

I amnot sure I did at all but it al worked out in the end!! :OD

Cheers!!

!PIZZA

Greta... isn't she the one that looks about eight years old herself? Hahaha! I can't keep up with the wokes and the awakened and the Q's and the he him they them privilege pointed socialist something lol!

But I do remember marching for causes, feeling like I was apart of something big and important- loads of fun, no regrets :0)

I'm a bit hippy myself- minus the not washing and shaving and patchouli wearing. Except I think some of the rules of hippydom have changed a bit, so I guess I'm closer to an OG hippy? Definitely all about the peace and love and power to the people mama!

Wish I could believe in changing the world like I used to, but people are so scattered. I mean for a cause to work there can't be the distraction of five hundred other causes, especially when even within each cause no one can agree on anything...nothing gets done that way sheesh lol!!

I think I'll just sit over here in To Each Their Own/Do No Intentional Harm land for the time being :0)

HEhe, she does look not much older than my little one!

Its funny, I slag em off but I am an old hippy at heart and I went on a fair few marches when I was younger. Ijust forgot that Greta was actually in Sunny Glasgow for that COP26 nonsense.

I had fun helping her make a placard and she even got interviewed for some facebook thing. I feel quite proud!

Change the world! Through the proxies of kids, thats whta I say ;OD

!PIZZA

This is true, it's the kids turn! I lay my bets on my youngest, Ethan definitely has the passion, intelligence, drive and charisma for it. Reminds me of me at that age haha! :0)

Hehe, I think it's their turn for all those reasons. Us oldies just wanna chill and enjoy the good things. Even when those things are the bad things :0D

Let The Good Lady go, let the Good Lady protest.

They did. They were loud and they were proud!! And I think I am too! :O)

!PIZZA

Aah old man, you should be proud of your ladies! I'll hope for you they'll only pick up the vegan part of the hippies and not the unwashed thing 😅

HAha, we are almost there with the vegan thing as it is!!

I am actually quite proud, they came home ever so happy and excited! And now we have fireworks! Smashing!

!PIZZA

Great! A happy ending of that little adventure! 😊

She was knackered after all that!! She got interviewed on the march. So proud!

Hello @meesterboom, The good lady and your daughter were already in cahoots, ha ha ha ha ha, the women in power ha ha ha ha, they just wanted your dinner to get cold, next time you tell your daughter, ask her your mother, I would do that if I were a married man, but no, no, I'm married, I'm going to make a poster and I'm going to put it here in hive ha ha ha, single to power ha ha ha,
The women always win

They were indeed! They had already organised it all and then I just looked like grumpy old dad!

Single forever, that is the key to happiness! :OD

!PIZZA

Mines six so I guess I got a bit to wait for the old Greta bandwagon... I can only hope that instead he decides to protest something worthwhile. Like Cold dinner, Or Lying politicians or Putting dogs in people clothes.

Still fuckin hilarious. 👍

Lol! Mine is 8, I genuinely thought I had another 6 or 8 years before there was any of this nonsense.

I think I would definitely be happier if she was protesting about dogs in peoples clothes :OD

!PIZZA

Yeah They seem to be growin up fast these days. My greatest fear is he will come home one day and come out as a Vegetarian. I don't know How I would cope.

Thanks for the Pizza :D

I have the same fear, although I don't mind so much when older, I have the fear that mine will turn veggie just now, I have two and if they go veggie they are so fussy that it would be a disaster for trying to get them to eat!

I think that's the one, cooking extra dinners sounds like aggro. My boy is hilarious, Duck Hearts, Cabbage, Brussel Sprouts No problem. Gravy? If it even sees gravy it he wont eat it same with potatoes until recently. Kids.

They are mental. I almost can't wait till they are older and just eating any old tosh. Wouldn't mind trying duck hearts myself!!

Aye , I can't ever remember being picky, if I didn't like it, didn't get dinner. Cant say I can bring myself to be so strict. Guess it's the dreaded modern softness creeping in.

As for duck hearts they're really delicious especially with garlic and parsley. Well worth a try.

It is the modern softness!!

I am the same, of I didn't like it I had to go workout but I couldn't do that to the little cherubs!

I will try it is I ever see it. I have had chicken hearts which were good but if they were in garlic and parsley might have been great

The Good Lady smiled back, her eyes shining with happiness at being the lady of a man who can.

Oh yeah dude? That's what she's smiling about eh... You know for a natural picture painter of words I've never seen misinterpret a smile so badly.

That first smile... It was one of love and magic!! I swear! It just all went Pete Tong after it. Lol

!PIZZA

Wassup man? We went and saw Lynyrd Skynyrd last night.... you know :time out:

First, you familiar with them? I regularly forget not everyone is tuned into tunes from The West.

I am indeed familiar with them. Well, familiar in the fact that Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirts were very popular back in the day here. I don't actually think I know any of their tunes. Hope it was good!

I say it’s cool.

Tell her it will be awfully cold and wet. Also there won’t be free snacks.

And yeah it is likely you will be evicted from the cabal if you say no. Wait…… is there a cabal?

She loved it!!! She got interviewed twice, one by a newspaper and the other by some online thing.

They had snacks with them, soon were sorted that way.. she is always prepared :0)

Cabal, did I say cabal? Whistling the X Files theme... :0D

See! That was a good decision!

It was, I only wish that the Good Lady had warned me in advance that she thought it was cool so I didn't have to come across as bad Daddy!

Second guessing is a dangerous business! I know it with my own life!! :)

I should know it but I always get out second-guessed. At least by those two!

I don't really believe the good lady. It was a spectacular bite to test man.Man can get really angry and not even think straight.but if it hadn't been a trap, the conversation would have been something more targeting to anger the man to violence
... The Good Lady looked longingly into my eyes and said ... The little lady and I are going to attend the protest march organised by Greta Thunberg tomorrow. And I say, That's wonderful my darlings. I hope the weathers nice. You know how unpredictable Glasgow weather is this time of year.. Meh, this will look good as an outside activity on her flawless resume. Besides, this will give me some alone time on a Saturday for another and amazing day to explore..I so much enjoyed this post.thank you

I think their motives were pure. A little maybe. lol

In the end they had a great day and I got to hear some great tales. Everyone is happy!

Exactly,at the end of the day.everybody is surely happy

And that's all that matters!!

Greta is definitely a dilemma

That's like poetry!!! Rap styley!! :0D

I super love this. This reminds me the difference between asking permission and telling information. The later means even if you dont like the idea, they are firm to still do it anyway!

I like that difference too. Where it can seem like you are asking permission but no, you're telling! :OD

!PIZZA

Kids today are the new teenagers. They are just doing things earlier these days.

It used to be that you did whatever the authority figures (parents, teachers, police, politicians...etc) said up until you were 16-18. Then you rebelled and did the exact opposite of whatever the authority said. And then you grew up further becoming a young adult and began to formulate your own beliefs and values and followed those. And then from there you enter the echo chamber of society where you only listen to those that discuss similar views as your own. Then you find the news outlet that feeds you what you like to hear and start allowing them to think for you and to push those ideals to the extremes and to fight tooth and nail against anything that questions those beliefs regardless of logic and reason....and thats humanity in a nutshell. Kids are just doing these things earlier now. Hahaha

In all seriousness though It's good that she's finding her voice and speaking up for what she believes in. You have to respect that with kids these days.

Not kidding about the earlier bit. 8 years old, I was fecking flabbergasted.

I think you are right thuogh and perhaps its something to do with the internet and this over-connected world we live in but she is way more attuned to the outside world than I ever was at that age.

I am quite proud of the fact she was so determined to do it. I was almost tempted to start rebelling against myself! lol

!PIZZA

The internet definitely plays a part. Facebook was literally called to congress for its algorithm only feeding people exactly what they want to hear. No wonder there is so much polarization in the world, every topic gets reduced down to a left vs right political argument even though these things often have nothing at all to do with politics. This happens with every issue in society not just COP26, people view every issue through a political lens. Why?

It's like:

"sir, how do you feel about this issue relating to morality and ethics?"

"Well my political circle has this to say about the issue, therefore I think that as well."

"Okay, and how about this issue of science. The science suggest that (...insert findings...), how do you feel about that?"

"Well, my political circle does not believe in that science therefore I do not believe in it."

Personally, I respect people more when they have mixed feelings about a topic. Many issues today are highly complex so if a person can see multiple sides of the issue and its impacts across multiple fields and they are unsure where it all fits in within their own values and belief system, then at least it shows that they are thinking about the topic themselves and are not just regurgitating with certainty, the reduced down argument that their biased news outlet is telling them.

These are just my personal thoughts on political polarization hahaha 🤣

I like your thoughts on it all, lol. They are similar to my own. I think people with a mixed bag of opinions and thoughts is better than someone just trotting out the same line that they have heard someone else and there is no scope for accepting anything different.

I especially like it if they have something to back it up rather than internet warblings from a crazy site!

But yeah, the internet really does make a difference. I have found my daughter googling millions of random things she wants to know the meaning of and I keepthinking I wished there was something similar when I was young

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Dang dude. No wonder the pizza guy never showed up @meesterboom.

Pastor Artur Pawlowski will headline the event via Zoom on a massive LED screen and will be accompanied by Pastor Phil Hutchings on Zoom and Church of God Pastor Henry Hildebrandt in person.

You can get your ticket here

https://www.proofofbrain.blog/freedom/@leprechaun/live-the-christian-fight-for