Alright Chief!
Chirped my back neighbour.
When I say back neighbour I don't literally mean he was calling out from my arse. No, he was the neighbour whose property sided with the back of my garden.
He leaned over the fence which, as we were on a hill was only about 5 feet high on his side but about 8 feet high on mine.
I grimaced and looked up from where I was digging a big funking hole.
Aye aye, Cheesy.
I called him Cheesy because he looked the sort to have a cheesy penis.
You digging down to Australia!
He laughed as if he has told an absolutely amazing joke. I made a gurgling noise in reply as if drowning in brown phlegm.
No, man. Just saw this gap at the fence and thought it would be cool to plant something in the space.
I smiled with genuine pleasure at the thought of the planting to come.
You do love planting stuff up here. That stuff over there grew really tall. In fact...
Cheesy looked at the fence that separated our gardens as if realising for the first time that on my side there were giant growing things that blocked their view of our garden all along it.
Except for this one last gap.
This is the only bit left we can talk to each other.
He looked worried. As if he would really hate to not be able to peer into my garden with his little lizard eyes.
It is isn't it!
I jammed my shovel into the earth and it made that reassuring kerckick noise that shovels always do in movies when someone has to dig their own grave.
So, whatcha planting?
Cheesy eyes darted about in search of clues.
I grinned up at him.
What's that?
He asked, his eyes sweating in their grimy little sockets.
It's a giant bamboo. It can grow up to ten meters tall!!
Ten meters!?
Cheesy balked as he looked up into the sky as if peering up a giant beanstalk.
Ten meters. It's bushy as fuck as well. Amazing eh!
I did a little jig from side to side with the excitement of it all.
Christ, we won't be able to look in and talk to you guys at all by the sounds of it!? I hope you're not trying to tell us something??
He looked down at me, his face a lobsters arse of mixed emotions.
I looked back up at him, grinning massively like a tiger chasing a prostitute.
Oh no mate, I just love growing tall shit you know that.
Our eyes locked for a moment before he queasily turned away.
Ok, cool. See you later, mate.
I watched his head bob out of sight and let out a mad cackle.
See you later?? I don't think so my cheesy nobbed friend. Once this bastard grows, I'll never have to see you ever again...
I dropped the shovel and cocked my hands on my hips in classic superhero villain style.
Mohohowaaahr!!!
Reminds me of a guy I was introduced to by some friends with the nickname Zackly. Later, I was told that he got the nickname because he smells zackly like shit.
Hahaha, you could have so much fun with someone called that. I don't think I could ever stop coming up with new things to say he has zackly like!!
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They had some great nicknames for people.
Sounds like my kind of friends!! One of my mates is horrible gifted at giving people nicknames. He was the one I stole sadbaws from. It's magic!!
It is a gift to be utterly offensive, yet still clever enough to not cause offense.
The magic of words.
Indeed, a magic we couldn't do without!!
Reminds me of the scene, or perhaps, that was in the books of Harry Potter, where the aunt Petunia had this giraffe neck and she used to stare over the fence into neighbors gardens and windows because how much she enjoyed gossiping and living other peoples lives :D Maybe Cheesy does not have a very interesting life if he is so interested in yours? I cracked up, thank you!
HAha, I think that was in the Harry Potter books. I loved them!
I don't think he does. I know that I don't bother looking in their gardens, although, that's a like, I looked in once when cutting bits of a tree and I was up high and it is all concrete slabs and fake grass. Mibbe they are just entranced because mine looks like Narnia or something, lol!
I loved them too. To this day I am blown away by that universe too xD I guess I don't ever want to grow up even though I am told that I should act like grown up by now that I count as a grownup.
Maybe they admire your ability of keeping alive things alive :D All they have managed is making things look alive by using fake stuff. Though, I really dislike the fake look of fake things xD Why even try to replicate something to look like something it is not. Why not purple grass instead or a carpet?
It's a fabulous universe that one!
I am firmly against all those folk who tell others to act their age or grow up. I have had it name times myself but it's the secret of a good life to be young I think!
You'll be able to talk to each other through the foliage surely, don't know what he's worried about ;D
I'm reminded of back home when we apparently had some "trouble" with the neighbours as we never used to have fences, and then we got a dog so my parents put up a fence to stop the dog from escaping (spoiler: didn't actually work very well despite Dad's best efforts) and the neighbours thought that we didn't want to be friends anymore x_x
I'm imagining Cheesy's look of consternation in a tracking mid closeup as he walks away from the fence hearing your evil laughter XD
Haha, I imagined his face in that kind of shot too.
It's a fraught thing. I don't really mind talking to them so much but I hate it when they plan on the fence and just look in our garden. One time his wife was asking is what we were doing with a bit that we were digging up and making into a mini meadow and I was like, fuck off you and stop looking in!! So they will still be able to buy not so clearly :0D
🤚🏻
Excuse me, hi. How's it goin? I'm going to need a smiling tiger explanation, please. Thank you.
Yeah, even as I typed that one I thought wtfunkz!?
But you know, Tigers are gonna be Tigers... :0D
Clear as Charlie Sheen blood!
And that was magnificent blood!! He did make quite a show of being a coke raddled bassa, lol
Where in fuck do you even come up with these similes? Do you have an AI bot writing for you? Are you throwing darts at a dartboard of subjects verbs and objects and then just publishing whatever gets randomly darted?
Godspeed, thou chusquea gigantea.
Haha, none of the random things would give me that special pizazz!!! I particularly liked that one :0D
I can barely see my neighbor and I am still bothered by him. Most recently I ordered some groceries online and had them delivered and the delivery guy took them to the neighbor's house instead of mine. The neighbor hurried and took my groceries and then put them away in his cupboards oh, probably because he knew the delivery company could not then demand that he return them because of food safety laws. My groceries were replaced by the delivery company at no cost but it was really creepy to know that my grocery stealing neighbor knew all the food items that I have purchased for the week and was eating the same food as I was. When I confronted him about it he just chortled and told me that it happens to him all the time. He told me that last week he got a case of wine that was supposed to go to a different neighbor. He acted like he had been blessed with a gift from heaven.
Uh. What a swine. I hate when stuff gets delivered to the wrong neighbour and its worse when its a bad one. I used to stay in an apartment and once I was getting a cabinet thing delivered. When It didnt show and I contacted them they said they had left it with my neighbour. I went downstairs to get it and he answered the door and told me he didnt have it and I was like dude, its right fucking behind you?! as I could see if half built in his hall.
Block em out!
Neighbours, I am not a fan.. they always seem to be wankers, then they move and another set of wankers replaces them.
There is always that gap between the new ones moving in and the old ones moving out where you get your hopes up that the new ones will be alright. Then they arrive and within minutes your are like wankers!!!!
And how come everyone else seems to get on grand with theirs!?
@bingbabe gets on with everyone and knows the whole town, but me.., I have a resting dogface and look unapproachable. It's self-inflicted I know but I'm not one for small talk and wasting time on talking about the weather and shit like that.... I could be making more HIVE.. or something.
It's the small talk I can't stand. I hatev the oh what a lovely day nonsense or the usual this rain is a pain in the arse eh? It's the most painfully boring thing ever
There are some trees of my neighbour, which have grown into my backyard. I will not tell anyhing to her then prune them.
Quite right. Chop away!! That's what I like about bamboo, it just grows straight up and doesn't have any branches to get chopped!!
I'm so glad to not have that problem. My nearest neighbor is ¾ of a mile away..
#NoFenceNeeded
Nature is your fence!! And space. Ah, another year and I will be locked in a luscious green jungle and won't have to talk to any of em ever again!!! :0D
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Hooray, a holiday! Two posts in two days from Boomy :)
If your bamboo doesn't grow to the moon. use a hogweed. True, it will be a war of annihilation, maybe self-annihilation too. This fucking grass grows everywhere and always and is very toxic. Your neighbor will burn his cheese penis on it if he decides to fool around a little.
I see it in the banks of the rivers all around here. I think that night be the nuclear option!!!
Two posts in two days, I know. Crazy times!!! :0)
Perhaps it is true: Good fences make good neighbors...
Oooo, that's a good saying!! Or fence is already stonkingly good it's just the damn hill means that they tower above us. But not for long, w welcome to the world Mr giant bamboo!!!!
I had no idea Tigers had a thing for prostitutes😂
They do indeed!! Oh the merriment they display as they chase them down!!! :0D
He saw through your plans. Good thing that bamboo should screen that last gap. Carry on with the supervillain laughter!
Sometimes the only thing I have left that's worth anything is the supervillain laughter!!
One of our neighbors loses it if a drop of our water dares to intrude on her property when we water our garden. She’s particularly protective of the decaying 30-year-old railroad ties used in her landscaping. I wonder if she berates Thor when it rains.
Haha, that's mad. I regularly soak everything in a twenty foot radius of my boundary when I get the hose out. She would explode in that case. With the railroad ties she sounds a bit hipsterish!
@meesterboom Your post looks like an episode of The Simpsons where Homer tries to avoid Ned Flanders. Hahaha!!!
Haha, I am flattered to be compared to that!!! :0D
:-)
I love bamboo tho it takes a bit of time to establish but once it's off ...You'll be free to run about in the buff and nary an will peep you :)
That be the plan missy!!! ;0D
You are aware that you will never get rid of it, right? The bamboo, not the neighbor, cheese and all... Bamboo is very difficult to contain and virtually impossible to kill with herbicide.
What if you really, really like your new neighbors, it could happen!
Nah!!
Hi @meesterboom my regards. I'm pretty new here,done my intro a few months back.
How do you guys generate traffic? Is there a platform where I can drop links to my posts or something?
Please assist a newbie.
Thanks sir
There are discord groups that people link drop in but they don't work. It just becomes a sea of links from people seeking votes.
I am afraid there are no shortcuts. It's about networking, commenting on others and seeking out like minded folk to connect with. And don't forget, your posts have to offer something too.
There are numerous contests and initiatives that can get you traction and noticed by partaking in them also.
Good luck :0)
"..sea of links". Some humuor in the way you put it.
Thanks for your counsel,it oozes sincerity.
Yup as a matter of personal policy,my posts must not be drab. I've heard of "discord",though only after I joined the Hive. I was also informed,it's a great place to network,especially if I get to join an active group therein. So, please can I have some good options? Urgent please.
Thanks
And urm by the way, I've always wanted to comment regularly on posts here, but an element called "resource credit" kept rebuffing my attempts– it kept saying I didn't have enough resource credit.
It's only very recently I am now having quite some resource credit to kind of easily comment. I love dovetailing with people, I hope I grow here quickly.
I have delegated you some hive so you won't have any bother with resource credits :0)
I can't really recommend any discords for you. It has to be something you are interested in. Same with communities, you can post in a community but ultimately if you want to get engagement on hive and similarly gain traction for your account you should look for what interests you and see if there are similar minded users. Then go from there. I wish you good luck!
I am not too sure what "delegating hive" means,but my common sense informs me that you have gifted me some hive quantity,which will directly raise the level of resource credit I have for a good while. I am so very grateful Mr. @meesterboom . This is kindhearted terrific master stroke from you sir!
No worries. It's exactly that, a loan that will stop you running out of RC. :0)
A loan?
Well, a cursory look at my page unmistakenly reveals my sports leaning.
What may not be obvious is my affinity for Proof of Brain- it's my tagging first choice.
I hear it takes an invite to get into groups in discord. Are you a member of POB, Sportstalk or Life, that you give me an invite?
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Hi @meesterboom , Because it will be that nothing can be done in peace, your neighbor came to interfere, but you got away with it as always, I confess that when I started reading I did not understand, I had to start over.
Greetings
Just a simple tale of keeping my neighbor out! Cheers for reading dude!